The Best of
Times…
By Ozzallos
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production
Hold
on to your asses. We’re going out with a bang.
Epilogue X1
Usagi Tsukino set her book
bag on the sofa and closed the apartment door with a soft click. All in all, it
had been a good day, if only because things were finally returning to normal…
Well, as normal as they could be with Ranma and Setsuna missing in action. It
had taken nearly six months to achieve this measure of normalcy, but it was
finally asserting itself with some measure of predictability. Perhaps the most
difficult part of the ordeal was dealing with those close to Yumei, no, Ranma,
she mentally corrected herself for nearly the thousandth time.
The blonde sighed
as she kicked off her shoes and plopped onto the sofa next to the book bag. She
recalled informing his parents that their son had fallen in the defense of
their world, only to be met with staunch disbelief. Ranma Saotome was, after
all, bullet proof and it somehow didn’t come as a surprise to find out the
martial artist had taken out a super powered immortal being. That disbelief
lasted only as long as it took the Elder Amazonian matriarch, her great grand
daughter and Ranma’s greatest rival to confirm her story. Distraught wasn’t the
word for Nodoka Saotome, who was overcome with crushing despair. It had taken
everything for her husband and their extended family, the Tendos to keep her
from taking her own life over the next week, but through it she found an odd
sort of peace. The life of a martial artist was fraught with peril, after all.
If her son was to fall, she couldn’t ask for anything more manly than for him
to save the Earth with a harem of magical girls in tow.
Ukyo Kuonji hadn’t
faired much better, though she was probably the most stable of all Ranma’s
perspective fiancées, in Usagi’s humble opinion. She pulled through and became
fast friends with their alter egos in the process. Shampoo, who had fought at
their side, endured as a true Amazon warrior would have. The man she had chased
for so long had fallen in battle and there could be no greater honor bestowed
upon him… Her only wish was that Ranma would have been hers beforehand. For
Kodachi and her brother Tatewake, Ranma of course had managed to spirit away
the pigtailed girl- or vise versa –and were anxiously awaiting their return.
Akane, the
"primary fiancée" as Moon like to think of her, closed up tight with
the news. Usagi had had caught wind of the sister's legendary temper, but that
smoldering inferno seemed to be snuffed out with the news that Ranma wasn’t
coming back. In fact, the only thing that slipped past that neutral barrier of
hers was when the Kuno’s had invited themselves to Ranma’s funeral, and beat
both brother and sister within inches of their lives.
The funeral had
surprised the Sailor Senshi most of all. They had all seen them before. Small
get-togethers. A wake. Crying loved ones. What they witnessed in Nerima was
nothing short of hero’s farewell. Emissaries from the Joketsuzoku, the Musk,
and the
So the angst
continued for a few more months. The Kunos would pay them courtesy visits
looking for Ranma. The Tatewake boy would practice his pickup lines on any
Senshi he could find, while his insane sister concentrated exclusively on
Mamoru, much to Usagi’s personal consternation. Then came the obligatory
beat-down. Ukyo would also come over on occasion, release her frustration on
the few remaining youma in the area and cook the Senshi something to eat. After
that, she would proceed to eliminate any sobriety with extreme prejudice over
sake and stories of her best friend. As for the rest, they kept mainly to
themselves in Nerima. The last thing the family needed was a reminder of how
their son had died, Moon figured.
But it was finally
beginning to turn around.
The memories were
becoming fonder and the angst lightening. Life was returning to normal and she
could almost snack again without some form of leadership guilt shadowing her.
In fact… The blonde broke from her introspective on recent events and hopped
off the couch, aiming for the apartment kitchen. Cookies sounded damn good at
the moment. If she was lucky, there’d still be some left from last night’s
meeting. The click of the front door coincided with the click of the
refrigerator door and Usagi’s hand paused centimeters from the carton of milk
that was her essential snacking component with the cookies. She tasted the
power signature at the door and shrugged, resuming her quest for the snack.
Since the incident, she had made it a point to sharpen every skill at her
disposal- another component of the leadership guilt –but she was now far more
aware of the world around her as a result. In this case, it was Chibi at the
door and she smiled. Of all the people in their close knit group, Small Lady
seemed virtually immune to the wave of depression that accompanied the
funerals. Usagi snorted mentally. She’d be immune too it she knew the future as
if it had already been written. All in all, the pink haired Senshi had been
vital in keeping the team from dipping even further into the depressive air
with her assurance that ‘everything would be ok’.
Easy for her to
say.
Moon snagged her
cookies from the counter jar and set a course back for the living room, where
Chibi was already talking to somebody. See? Everything was returning to normal.
She wasn’t a total failure as a leader, the Sailors weren’t write-offs and they
were even allowed to have friends once in a while. She smiled as Small Lady
took notice of her, then nodded at the dark haired boy she was talking to. Yep.
Everything was getting back to normal. Chibi even had a boyfriend. Moon almost
stumbled as her brain caught up to her mental rambling.
Chibi has… a
boyfriend?
She tightened her
grip on the glass of milk that threatened to spill out of her hands and stared.
Well this was a first. Usagi stared into Chibi’s surprised expression, one that
all but screamed she had been caught red-handed.
“Uhh…heheh… You’re
home!” Chibi proclaimed the obvious, even if it were an obviously unexpected
occurrence. A wide eyed stare greeted the statement. It slowly faded into a sly
smile.
“Ducked out
early.” The blonde replied. Since the incident, she had developed a perverse
sense of humor, and Moon relished the feeling as the pink haired girl squirmed
under her gaze, her face turning almost as pink as her hair. “You didn’t tell
us you had a boyfriend, Chibi…”
“Um… uh…
heheheh….”
Usagi turned her
attention to the boy, sizing up the thirteen year old that was purposively
courting the future queen of Crystal Tokyo. He met her gaze confidently and she
silently notched a single point of approval. Still there was something damn
familiar about him. Black hair tied into a pony tail. The iridescent purple
eyes were slightly on the exotic side to be sure. “And who might you be?”
He took a sidelong
glance over to Chibi, who seemed to have recovered enough composure to answer
his silent inquiry with a shrug. He turned back to Usagi and flashed an
arrogant smile, one she had been known to use herself as of late. His next
words crushed reality as she knew it.
“I’m Akira
Saotome. Sorry ‘bout this.”
“Can’t
say I didn’t warn you.” The pink haired girl quipped to the boy at her side,
who simply rolled his eyes. The two now sat in the middle of what could
accurately be termed an uproar, as the remaining Senshi returned home to find
Chibi Usa and the boy named Akira Saotome in their midst. Chibi couldn’t help
but to note how Usagi enjoyed doling out the information, savoring their
surprise in the same way it had stricken her only an hour ago. The leader of
the Sailors had had time to recover. The remaining Senshi had not.
“Woulda found out
anyway.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “If big bro and sis didn’t give us away, Mom
and Pop woulda.”
“Big brother and
sister?” Makato mouthed.
“Mom and Pop?” Rei
mimed in disbelief. The story just kept getting better and better.
“You’ve got to be
fucking kidding me…” Ami curse as she had been wont to do since the battle, but
unlike the other Sailors, her razor sharp intellect was already jumping to the
obvious conclusions the boy’s name present them. Akira Saotome. Oh sure, there
was the possibility that he was some relative, but she wasn’t too fond of
coincidence and the odds that another Saotome would just pop into their lives
were damn long. Combine that with her close proximity to Chibi and her
continually stated assurance that everything would be “okay”, and she was being
presented with a nearly impossible conclusion. But not totally, so she rode it
home. With the last name of Saotome, his father’s identity was obvious, but the
mother… “So who is your mom, Akira?”
The boy cocked his
head and the surrounding girls listened intently. “Pop.”
Haruka affected a
perturbed expression. “She asked who your mom was, kid.”
Akira frowned, and
beside him, Chibi fought to suppress a fit of maniacal laughter. The answer
wasn’t lost on Usagi or Ami, however, and their eyes widened. It wasn’t exactly
the answer either were expecting, after all. The cobalt blue haired Senshi
rubbed her temples. “I don’t even want to know how that
happened…” she grumbled, and Moon took over the inquiry.
“What she’s asking
is... Well…” She approached the subject tentatively, painfully aware of how
awkward the question was. “Um, your father was… Ranma?” The name brought
silence to the group and Akira responded with a single nod. “And your mother
would be…?” The boy smiled and laughter continued to burble from the pink
haired girl next to him.
“Setsuna Meiou, of
course.”
Two
figures stepped out of a glimmering sliver of unreality, distorting the air
around it in a wavering glow. The first was clad in black Chinese silks whose
primary feature was a gold embroidered dragon coiling up his body, while a long
pigtail bound his black crop of hair. His blue eyes scanned the back ally they
had stepped into as the woman joined his side, her luscious green mane of hair
floating with the light breeze created by the temporal gate at their backs. The
staff in her hand bore an uncanny resemblance to a large key, and she drew a
sign into the air with it. While her motions left no trace, the gate at her
back instantly began to loose cohesion, collapsing in upon itself as if it had
never existed. The green-haired woman gave the staff a twirl and banished it
from sight, and with it, the black and white fuku she had been wearing. Moments
later the pair stepped out onto the sidewalk, the young man still in his black
silks while the woman now sported a lavender skirt and jacket.
Blue eyes flicked
back and forth, scrutinizing the environment and people around him. “Well, it looks
like Nerima…”
“This time it is.”
She assured him with a nod.
Instead of the
smile she had been expecting with the assurance, a mask of steady neutrality
remained on her partner’s face. He gave a sniff, as if testing the air. “It’s
good to be home and all, but part of me ain’t lookin’ forward to this.”
The woman rested a
light hand on his shoulder in sympathy. “It’ll turn out just fine.”
Her words earned a
wry smile from the young man’s face. “Oh, and I’m supposed to just take your
word for it?”
The young woman
blinked, as if shocked. “Not just my word for it.”
“Hers too.” He
added, folding his arms across his chest and affecting a look of annoyance.
“One of these days me and her are gonna have a little talk.”
“Now, hun,” She
chided. “Don’t make me explain temporal causality to you again.”
The pigtailed
martial artist winced.
“After all, what
fun would it be if I let myself know everything that was going to happen in
advance?” The young man already knew the answer to that particular question.
Things would get pretty damn boring pretty damn fast. Then you'd start to
second guess yourself. Temporal causality sucked in his opinion. “That way?”
She asked, motioning down the sidewalk.
He nodded and
continued the conversation as they began walking. “Not that I don’t wanna see
‘em all again, but it’s been what… Twenty years? I mean, we’re dead to them.”
“Subjectively,”
She corrected. “Only six months have passed here, remember? It was the closest
I could get us. Besides, what are you complaining about? You got the better
funeral.”
The black clad
young man smiled at her artificial scowl. “Feh. Half those people hated my guts
anyway.”
The scowl
disappeared in favor of a mischievous grin and Sestuna smiled. “True. Little
Saffron was so pissed you went and died on him with the staves in your
possession.”
“Serves him
right.” The pig-tailed boy’s grin widened, then faltered. “Wonder how Mom’s
gonna be with all this… And I ain’t lookin’ forward to reigniting the fiancée
wars.”
The green haired
woman elbowed him as they rounded a corner. “You worry too much. Besides, I
have a surprise for you.”
The man at her
side noted the glint in her eyes and considered her warily. “It ain’t like the
last one, is it?”
“Nope.” She piped.
“This one is much better.”
The young man
sighed. “I’m so screwed.”
“If you’re lucky.”
She whispered seductively. “But for now, let’s go tie up some loose ends.”
“You
sure this is the place?” A short pigtailed girl asked, looking up to the boy at
her side. She brushed a green strand of hair from her eyes and gave the
structure another once-over.
The red-headed
teen nodded sharply. “Definitely the place. After all, how many schools of
indiscriminant grappling can their possibly be in this town?” The girl cast a
dry look up at him and he shrugged. “Okay, right. But Pop’s directions were
pretty specific.”
She sighed,
conceding the point. “No denying that it’s the highest concentration of power
this side of
“Nah.” He replied.
“Besides, I’m hungry. Aunt Kasumi will fix us something.”
“As long as she
isn’t a vampire, like last time.” The pigtailed girl quipped, causing the boy
to visibly pale.
“Ok, point taken.”
He admitted. “So we go in, make sure Auntie isn’t a vampire and have a snack.”
“And Aunt Nabiki?”
She arched an eyebrow and the young man sighed.
“You just had
to bring that up, didn’t you?”
“Well excuse me
if I don’t feel like being gutted by a two foot long blade made of bone.” The
girl snorted.
“Come on, we were
eight then.” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, Mom assured us that this is the
right time frame this time.” She opened her mouth once more and the young man
preempted her this time. “And don’t even get started on Aunt ‘Kane, got
it?”
“Can’t say I
didn’t warn you.” The green haired girl replied innocently.
The red headed boy
mumbled something under his breath and responded by walking up to the
properties front gate giving the bell a shake. They only waited a moment before
the gate creaked open, revealing the smiling visage of Kasumi Tendo clad in a
conservative pink dress and apron.
“Welcome to the
Tendo do—“ She stopped mid sentence and peered over the young man's shoulder.
“Oh my.”
The boy turned
around to find his sister covering her face with one arm and the other thrust
out towards Kasumi, holy cross in hand. He let go a labored sigh and turned
back to the eldest Tendo sister. “You aren’t by any chance a vampire, are you?”
Kasumi considered
the question a moment, as if she actually had to think about it. “Goodness,
no.”
The girl peeked
out from behind her arm, the cross faltering. He turned back to Kasumi. “And
Nabiki wouldn’t happen to own a two foot short sword made of bone that steals
the life energy of its victims?”
Kasumi’s eyes
widened, but she shook her head to the negative. The green-haired pig tailed
girl almost dropped her guard completely. “How about Akane? Does she wield a ki
born mallet of death and destruction?”
Kasumi blinked and
put a finger to her chin. “Now that you mention it, yes she does.” A kind smile
formed on her face once again. “But she doesn’t use it much these days.”
The pair stared at
Kasumi Tendo, then gave each other a shared look. “What do you think, Sis?”
The girl pursed her
lips and shrugged. “Two out of three ain’t bad, I guess.”
Kasumi considered
the strange pair. They looked eerily familiar. About seventeen or eighteen if
she were any judge and the way the girl wore her hair… the boy’s spiky styling
wasn’t recognizable, but the red hair was triggering all sorts of memories in
the eldest Tendo’s brain… She broke from the train of thought as the two
finished there deliberation. Whatever was about to happening, it was probably
best to continue it inside.
Something was
telling her that dinner might be a little late tonight.
Nabiki
stepped down stairs, stomach grumbling. This in itself was not odd. It had been
a long day of money collections and extorting, and that was always bound to
work up an appetite. No, what was unusual was the fact that she wasn’t smelling
dinner. In some ways that was good, as it meant her little sister had yet to
step foot in the kitchen. She was getting better, but anything more complex
than boiling eggs or rice was bound to taste like a flavored cinder block.
A badly
flavored cinder block, that is.
On the other hand,
it also meant Kasumi wasn’t cooking yet, which meant that some anomaly had
manifested itself in the eldest sister’s household regiment. These days it
probably was something mundane, like running out of soy sauce or the like.
Still, making money worked up an appetite, and if dinner wasn’t forthcoming,
she’d have to take matters into her own hands.
She stopped short
of the living room, finding Kasumi leading two guests into the house. Her dinner
was being delayed for… Strangers. Nabiki hid the scowl with a mastery born from
years of experience. Maybe she could help expedite their departure… or find
some form of monetary compensation through their presence. She stepped fully
into the living room, and the pair caught sight of her.
What the hell!
The same details
that had given her older sister pause flashed through brain, and Nabiki’s
knife-like thought process broke them down and dissected them at lightning
speeds few others would have been capable of. There was no mistaking the family
resemblance and she knew for a fact that the Saotome's weren’t expecting other
children, let alone ones that were her age. Extended family? Not likely, she
decided. The green hair on the girl was a bit out of the ordinary, but the
boy’s red hair screamed ‘Ranko’. They even carried themselves like the former
fiancée to be. The boy even had his eyes, dammit!
“Heyas, Auntie
Nabs.” The boy waved nonchalantly, while the girl seemed to be studying her
warily.
Nabiki tore her
eyes from the two newcomers to Kasumi paled face. The eyes told her everything
she needed to know. “Umm… Kasumi… Who are our… guests?”
The boy visibly
deflated at the question and the girls face turned grumpy. Kasumi took another
sidelong glance at them. “Uh, this would be… Um…” The eldest Tendo sister
hesitated nervously, looking at the boy.
“Ono.” The boy
filled in for her, holding up a hand. Nabiki blinked.
“Ranko.” The
pigtailed girl supplied. Nabiki blinked again.
“…Saotome.” Kasumi
finished in a revenant whisper, confirming her sister’s suspicions. It took
everything she had to remain composed, let alone upright. Her brain latched
onto the first, most obvious fact available to it… Ranma was alive. Some
how, against all odds, the bastard had lived through the impossible… AGAIN. Too
many possibilities and scenarios began to assault her mental process, so she
concentrated on the next most obvious fact—These were his children. She
didn’t even bother pursuing the implications that fact left hanging. There
really wasn’t any need to, after all…
“Wait a minute.”
Nabiki stopped short with sudden realization. “Your ages are all wrong.”
Ono Saotome
sighed, looking down at his sister. “Don’t suppose you want to explain it…?”
“Forget it,
Onee-chan. I explained it last time.” Ranko crossed her arms in rejection.
“Damn.” The spiky
red-head grumbled. “I’m starting to really hate explaining temporal mechanics
and planular domain theory to the Tendos…”
“Told ya we
shoulda waited for Mom and Pop.” Ranko shrugged oblivious to her brother’s
consternation.
“Sailor Pluto.”
The name caught
the brother and sister’s head on a swivel, causing them to stare at Kasumi with
wide eyes. Even Nabiki looked at her sister with curiosity. “Who did you...”
“Your mother is Sailor
Pluto.” Kasumi stated pleasantly.
The pair stared at
Kasumi, then each other. Ono spoke first. “You know, I think she’s the first
Kasumi that’s gotten it right the first time…” Ranko nodded dumbly.
“As in the
Sailors?” Nabiki asked with incredulity, to which Kasumi nodded. “The same
Sailors Ukyo hangs out with?” Another nod. “Want to explain that one to me?”
“Well, everybody
knows that Sailor Pluto is the Mistress of Time, after all,” Kasumi
rationalized. “And it would seem that Ranma’s… children have experience
with time travel. Combine that with his association with the Sailors
themselves...” She looked at Ranko. “After all that, the red eyes and green
hair was a dead give-away.” Ono, Ranko and Nabiki stared at the eldest Tendo in
silence.
“She was less
creepy as a vampire…” Ranko mumbled, to which Ono nodded. Even Nabiki had to
agree. Of course, she always did seem to have at least one of those medical
books lying around…
“Ok, so it’s not
exactly a surprise that Saotome is alive…” Nabiki recovered, ticking the point
of on her finger. “But getting married to a Senshi is a bit of surprise… And
the kids… How do you explain them , Kas-chan?”
“Hmmm… It probably
something to do with…” She consider the quandary, then turned to the teens. “Oh
my, you must be starved after all that time travel!”
Giant sweat drops
rolled off the trio’s heads, while the brother and sister decided their father
was right… The weirdness just never stops in little ol’ Nerima.
Ukyo
Kuonji hopped from one roof to the other, stalking her prey with lethal
precision as the last rays of light evaporated from the evening sky. Everybody
had a purpose in life, and since the death of Ranma Saotome- her fiancée –Ukyo
had two. The first had been her childhood dream… To be an Okanomiyaki master like
her father before her. The second came after Ranma’s death… The single-minded
focus of ripping Tokyo’s remaining youma presence to shreds. This pursuit led
her to a unique standing within her family, as she had become the clan’s first
Okanomiyaki Demon Hunter.
It had, in fact,
been one of the first things she had done after the funeral. The same combat
spatula that had served her faithfully throughout the Fiancée Wars had been
taken to a local shrine and consecrated with holy water and symbology, turning
it into a weapon of divine youma retribution. Her shiruken spatulas- the same
ones she cooked with -had received similar treatment, and come out of the
process with an unexpected side effect…
They made for
absolutely divine okanomiyaki.
Be that as it may,
it was Thursday night and that meant they had only one purpose in life—to dice
youma into very small pieces.
The Okanomiyaki
Master watched the sickly pink youma scramble from one ally to the next, aware
that it was being pursued, but unable to discern by who or from where the
threat bore. Ukyo slid three mini spatulas out of their leather bandolier,
tucking them between her knuckles. An evil smile cracked her serious face as
the youma rounded a corner and came to a dead end full of trash and debris.
Now.
Three glimmering
lines of silver sliced through and into the shadowed alley, illuminating it
briefly before burying themselves into a demon that could be loosely described
as female, if it weren’t for the scales, fangs and oversized bone joints that
stretched its skin like a bad case of malnutrition.
“RRRooRRRoooWWRRLL!”
The beast wailed
as the first shiruken imbedded itself into the left hemisphere of its skull,
taking a sunken, beady eyeball with it. The next two buried themselves in its
ribcage and shoulder respectively, and the creature fell to the ground
thrashing as flesh began to ignite around the wounds. A claw found the skull
rooted shiruken and attempted to pull it out, only to elicit another howl as
the hand closed around the glowing white spatula. Somehow it endured the pain
and yanked the weapon free, sending it clattering to the ground. The action
gained it little, however, as the charring continued to radiate outward from
the wound like a virus.
“Wherrrreee are
yoouuuuu!” The gravely female voice hissed in pain as it desperately sought
its assailant. The whistle of wind was the youma’s only reply, and it snapped
its head skyward to find a menacing shadow already dropping down from on high.
“FOR RAN-CHAN,
BITCH!”
The combat spatula
came down in a perfect arc, replacing the shiruken that had been buried in its
head with a slice that eviscerated the youma from head to toe. Her weapon and
feet touched the earth simultaneously. The youma stood above her crouch for a
moment, before falling apart, sliding length wise in two. Ukyo Kuonji brought
herself back up to her full height as the separate youma halves flopped to the
ground and began to evaporate in a smoldering mist. The holy symbols on her
combat spatula that had been glowing with the strike faded away as the last of
the demon’s life-force drained away into ether. The demon hunter-chef recovered
her mini-shirukens and notched another mark into the leather bandolier with the
last one, making for three tonight and a career high of fifty two confirmed
kills.
Ukyo flipped the
giant combat spatula around and slid it back to its resting place on her back,
nodding with satisfaction. One of these days the little buggers were gonna
learn not to screw around on her turf, she thought and turned on a heel, leaping
back up to the roof. She extended her senses for a good few miles in every
direction, failing to sense any more of the tainted creatures. While it was
good she wasn’t sensing them, it was also odd that she wasn’t sensing anybody
else. Normally at least a couple of Sailors would be on patrol tonight, but all
she could feel was the concentration of power on the far end of Juuban. The
apartment, of course. So why were they all sitting around back there?
She had done her
share for tonight. Time to find out.
It took less than
ten minutes to transverse the distance at high speed as she retraced the path
she had taken so many times before to the Senshi’s doorstep. She dropped down
from another rooftop and stepped up to the apartment with a knuckle poised to rap
on the door. The finger paused inches from the surface as Ukyo cocked her head,
listening to the sounds coming from the inside. Some sort of commotion. A
party? Argument? Her hand slipped around the doorknob, confident that the
extenuating circumstances would permit her uninvited entry.
What she walked
into was chaos, as familiar faces argued back and forth over some
incomprehensible topic around Chibi and some kid— Ukyo’s thought process froze
as a vision tore open sealed memories from the past… She could only see the
back of the boy’s head, but the hair color and style began ripping open old
wounds left and right. It couldn’t be. The boy turned around and Ukyo’s
heart nearly stopped.
It was
impossible.
“Ran-chan…” She
whispered. The kid in front of her was nearly a mirror image of her fiancée,
had his biological clock been wound back five or so years. The hair... Face…
Even a ponytail like her childhood friend from so long ago. The eyes…. Ukyo
blinked.
The eyes were purple.
“Hey Auntie Uuks.”
The boy smiled, causing Ukyo to frown. Ran-chan didn’t have purple eyes. Magic
de-aging mushrooms, she could believe, but this… She squinted at the boy and
began to notice subtle differences in his features. This was not Ranma.
Close, but not close enough to fool her of all people. Her mind came to
the only logical conclusion.
“YOUMA!”
She snarled, bringing the combat spatula to bear. The boy’s eyes widened and
all the arguing around her instantly stopped.
“Uhhh…”
“You may be able
to fool the girls here, but you ain’t foolin’ me.” The shining spatula
twirled in her hand, and the chef took an attack stance. The purple eyed boy
took a step back, looking frantically for an escape route. She was blocking the
only one. “And for impersonating the most important person in my life, it’s
time for you to die.” She paused, an evil smile taking over her face. “Painfully.”
“Ukyo, wait!”
Usagi’s intervention came a moment too late as Ukyo lurched forward, raising
the edge of her spatula high.
“You’re gonna DIE
little demon!”
“Eep!”
The weapon came
down and was lost in a flash of purple light, blinding anybody looking in that
direction. The flash didn’t stop physics from happening and instead of the
gratifying mushy thud Ukyo expected to feel, a cracking vibration greeted her
grip as the giant utensil sliced an empty chair in half and gutted the floor
beneath it. Ami winced at the property damage while Usa jumped back in horror.
“Where the little
youma bastard go?” Ukyo inquired, scanning the apartment wildly while her eyes
readjusted to more normal level of lighting. Everything still seemed to have a
purplish hue, however.
“Real good, Ukyo…”
Usagi stepped forward with a put-out look on her face. Ukyo’s face was writ
with incomprehension. “You just tried to split Ranma’s youngest in half.”
The Okanomiyaki
master had only a moment to analyze her words before fainting dead away.
Ranma
Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stood on the property
wall, looking down into the Saotome household. Beside him stood Setsuna, the
Last Princess of Pluto and Guardian of Time, her hand entwined in his as the
dusk glow faded from the night sky.
“Be it ever so
humble…” Ranma spoke softly, causing Setsuna to give his hand a soft squeeze.
Silence drift between them as the sight sparked memories in Ranma head, most of
those being early childhood. As a young man, however, he had spent less than a
year there and now the only thing that made it home was the people therein,
specifically his mother. She was a person he hadn’t seen since five years old
after being spirited away on a martial arts training voyage, and once he was
finally ready to begin life anew with her her again, was spirited away on
another adventure.
That one lasted
two decades.
The martial artist
gave the structure another once over, confirming that his mother was, in fact
the only person within the house. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where
his old man was. He lifted Setsuna’s hand and they both hopped down from the
wall and walked across the yard to the door. Ranma took a deep breath.
“I can do this,
Love.” Red eyes shown at him with sympathy. “You know what’s going to happen if
you knock on that door.”
Ranma took a deep
breath, and his hand poised just beyond the door's surface. "Yeah, but
this is something I gotta do for myself." Setsuna nodded and stepped back.
knock-knock-knock!
The pair waited a
precious few moments before light footsteps could be heard making their way to
the door. "One moment…!" The muffled female voice came from the
inside and soon the doorknob was turning. A middle aged woman in a conservative
dress and long chestnut hair answered the door, smiling warmly at her visitors.
"Oh my, you're a very nice looking couple. May I help you?"
"Hi
Mom…" Ranma replied carefully, and Nodoka Saotome's eyes instantly
widened.
"You're…
not…" The redhead's breathing Quickened, leading to one inevitable
conclusion. Nodoka's eyes widened one last time and promptly rolled into the
back of her head. Her body slackened and fell to the earth, where Ranma caught
her deftly before she met it. Ranma looked fondly on his mother, who he hadn't
seen in twenty years, and lifted her back up in his arms.
"Told you
so." Setsuna shrugged and let herself in through the open door, Ranma
following close behind, carrying his mother.
"Yeah, yeah.
Rub it in." Ranma found the nearest sofa and set her down gently, looking
on her unconscious form. "Guess I'll fix us something to eat while we
wait."
Fifteen minutes
later, Nodoka Saotome's eyes fluttered open. She propped herself up from the
sofa, recalling a dream she had had many times before… That being Ranma still
alive and not a fallen hero. Her vision cleared and she took stock of her
surrounding, her gaze immediately falling upon her smartly dressed,
green-haired visitor sitting in the opposite chair, reading one of her
magazines. She coughed slightly to get the woman's attention and red eyes
flashed upon her.
"Good
evening, Mrs. Saotome…" She smiled. "Sorry to have startled
you."
Nodoka simply
looked upon the young woman curiously. "Did I…? Who are you?"
The woman stood up
and walked over to Nodoka, who was testing her own balance. She looked upon the
young woman and felt the briefest moment of envy. Not that she was jealous of
her figure, which was exquisite, or her beautifully exotic hair, or the
intelligence that sparkled in her eyes. No, she was jealous that her son
couldn't have known such a specimen of womanhood.
"My name is
Setsuna… Saotome." The woman smiled once more, reaching her hand out to
encompass Nodoka's, who stared at her with incomprehension. Saotome? How was
she a Saotome? Unless Genma--
"I'm your
son's wife."
The eyes widened,
and for a split second Setsuna was afraid that the woman in front of her would
pass out again. Then the mouth fell into a silent "ooooh!" She stood
there, frozen in time for a moment before lurching forward, capturing the
unprepared Mistress of Time in bear hug. "Daughter!" The daughter in
question gasped for breath and suddenly found herself released, the middle aged
woman's eyes shining on her intently. "Is that my son I saw at the door
then?"
"It is."
Setsuna answered with a smile. "He's in the kitchen fixing us something to
eat."
"Don't you
cook?" Nodoka asked, her finely tuned sense concerning womanhood tripped.
Setsuna shrugged.
"While I can cook, it's his hobby, not mine. Probably picked it up from
you." Nodoka's eyes gained a happy, thoughtful light as Setsuna deftly
sidestepped that particular pitfall. Her husband had warned her in advance of
what to expect from his mother and smiled mentally at having successfully
diverted her attention. That, and it helped to have experience with the other
Nodoka's even if none of them were quite the same as this one. In fact, this one
seemed downright sedate compared to the demon hunter of their last jump, or
Evil sorceress from a plane best left forgotten. Of course, all of them wanted
to know one thing…
"Where are my
grandchildren?" She peered around the room expectantly, mildly disappointed
to find herself and Setsuna as the only occupants.
"Well, one is
with his girlfriend in Juuban and the other two are probably at the Tendo dojo
as we speak." The Mistress of Time detailed, and the light in Nodoka's
eyes shown even brighter. Frankly, it was beginning to unnerve Setsuna. In
fact, the Saotome matriarch unnerved her every time they met, which was quite a
feat considering the Guardian of Time was just this side of three thousand
years old. Luckily, reprieve came in the form of her husband, who stuck his
head out the kitchen door.
"Dinner will
be ready in a few, Set-chan. Is she--" Ranma cut his inquiry short as
those shining orbs rotated from his wife onto him.
"MY MANLY
SON!" Setsuna's time stop couldn't have done any better, as one moment she
was standing next to the Senshi and the next she was wrapped around Ranma, who
thanked God he hadn't come out with dishes in hand.
"You'reAliveYou'reAliveYou're AliveYou'reAlive!" She paused only to
take another deep breath. "My manly son is alive!" another pause and
her expression brightened even further, if at all possible. "WITH
GRANDBABIES!" A sweatdrop rolled off the side of Setsuna's head, an action
Ranma might of mirrored if he wasn't busy getting the life squeezed out of him.
As it was, it took him a minute to break the half nelson.
"Uh, yeah
Mom, I'm alive." Ranma scratched the back of his head and she lurched
forward again, embracing him in another fierce hug. "Gack!"
"But how!
That nice Moon girl and the Amazons said…" She frowned looking her manly
son over. "…and you've matured!" It was obvious that the young man in
front of her had filled out in both form and definition, as well as adding a
couple inches to his height. If she wasn't mistaken, he was around 26 or so
now… Which didn't make sense since he had only been gone for six months.
Whatever the result of that absence, his lean, muscular frame indicated that he
had undoubtedly kept up in the Art.
Ranma slumped, and
glanced over at Setsuna. "Don't suppose you want explain it?"
Setsuna rolled her
eyes. "Forget it. I explained it last time."
"Damn,"
Ranma grumbled. Ono Saotome wasn't the only one getting tired of explaining
temporal mechanics and planular domain theory. He looked at his Mom and smiled.
"Ok, have a seat. It goes like this… We successfully planted the bomb in
the pocket universe and were evacuating everybody but ran into a problem…"
"Specifically,
upwards around twenty thousand youma." Setsuna added, to which Ranma
nodded.
"And we had
to find a way to get out before being overran." Nodoka hung on every word
of her son's harrowing escape as he continued. "I unleashed a devastating
technique that gave us some breathing room, but effectively cut me off from our
escape route. You really don't want to know how close I came to buying it
there."
"What
happened then…?" Nodoka leaned forward, concern showing in her eyes.
"Then a
goddess happened by and saved my ass." He looked over at Setsuna, who was
blushing madly. "Instead of getting me to the escape route, she brought
the escape route to me. We hit the wormhole running, but the bomb went off just
as we entered it, creating…"
"…A
time-space improbability juncture." Setsuna took over naturally.
"Basically, the Elerium blast wave sent a power spike through the wormhole
resonate structure, sending it branching across no less than 582 planes of
existence."
Ranma noted the
glazed over look in his mother's eyes and interpreted his wife's explanation.
"We got lost on the way back."
Nodoka nodded as
if the preceding had actually made sense. "And along the way you fell
madly in love, had grandbabies and lived happily ever after."
Setsuna blinked.
"Um, I guess if you want the abbreviated version, yes."
Nodoka smiled
knowingly as if everything had gone according to plan, which only served to
unnerve Ranma's wife even more. "And when can I expect to meet them?"
"Well, the
Tendo's are the--" The Senshi of Pluto cocked her head, as if she were a
dog listening to a high pitched note. "On second thought, you may be
meeting one right about…"
PhooOOmP!
"ACK! Don't
kill me Auntie Ukyo!"
The frantic plea
was accompanied by a purple burst of light, and by the time Nodoka had rubbed
her eyes clear of it, a thirteen year old boy was crouched in the middle of her
living room, covering his head as if the sky was about to fall on him. Nodoka
stared at the boy curiously, who was only now beginning to peak out of his
protective shell.
Setsuna shook her
head, letting loose and exasperated sigh. "Don't tell me Auntie Ukyo tried
to split you in half again…?" She turned to Ranma with a frown.
"You really have to talk to her about that, hun."
Ranma arched an
eyebrow. "I do. In every single damn reality we visit." He
looked down at the boy, who was just regaining awareness of his surroundings.
"Been causing trouble again, Akira?"
"Naw, just
was visitin' Usa-chan when-- GACK!" The purple-eyed boy never knew what
hit him as Nodoka Saotome rode in on full stealth and proceed to turn the boy
into boney pulp.
"Aren't you
just soooo CUUUTE!" She shook the boy around as he proceeded with all his
skill to defy her grasp, a task at which he was remarkably unsuccessful in
accomplishing. She thrust the boy out in front of her suddenly, nearly giving
him whiplash. "Let's have a look at you! OOOoh, you look just like Ranma
when he was your age! And the eyes! They're so exotic!"
"Oh, uh,
heyas Grandma…" Akira had all but recovered from his shock, recognizing
the person who now held him. "Uh, yeah. Blue and red."
Nodoka blinked.
"You know who I am? Red and blue?"
"Of course I
know ya, Grandma!" Akira smiled, pulling the adult into a hug of his own.
"The eyes. Mom and Dad."
Nodoka smiled, but
a curious expression inhabited her face. "How do you know who I am,
child?"
"Easy,
I--" Akira stopped short, catching his father's warning look. "Oh
yeah. Forgot about that. Uh, nice to meet you Grandma!"
She cast a
skeptical look up at her son, who quickly wiped his face clean of anything
incriminating. "He knows everything about you, Mom."
She cast him one
last look, before returning to the boy. "And how old are you?"
"Thirteen."
Nodoka did some
quick calculations and found herself staring at the boy, then Ranma, then
Setsuna. "Son, exactly how old are you?"
Ranma frowned. The
question hadn't been so bad early on in his travels with Setsuna, as the age
difference had never been noticeable. But after twenty years on the road with
Setsuna and the children, it was becoming an increasingly common question.
"Thirty eight, Mom."
Nodoka simply
stared at her son. And stared. "You… You've aged well, son."
"Ain't
nothing compared to Set-chan he--Oof!" The martial artist took an elbow to
the ribs and lapsed into silence, rubbing his mid-section painfully.
"What the
baka here is trying to say," She overtook the conversation forcefully.
"Is that we have actually been gone nearly twenty years."
"Twenty years?"
Nodoka mouthed in disbelief. "But… but how?"
Ranma and Setsuna
nodded and Nodoka slowly released her grip on Akira. "The actual journey
took us twenty years, but given my unique, eh, gifts, I was able to
return us within six months of our disappearance while negating the effects of
your son's aging."
"Time
travel?" Nodoka blinked, trying to grasp the concept. "Is that possible?"
"Mom, I turn
into a girl when splashed with cold water, you tell me." Ranma replied
dryly, and Nodoka shrugged, conceding the point with a nod. "But yeah,
it's possible. Another one of Set-chan's gifts is that I don't age
normally."
"I see."
Nodoka nodded. "So if I have all of this correct, you've been gone for
about twenty years, are thirty eight years old even though you look
twenty-five, married a magical girl and have three grandchildren?"
Setsuna nodded her
own affirmation and Ranma simply said, "Yah."
"MY MANLY
SON!"
Needless to say, a
fierce glomping followed that none escaped.
The
shadows of night were busy claiming the land around the Tendo dojo as Ukyo
Kuonji stalked through them. She was on a mission, and there would be no
staying her purpose. Strange things were afoot tonight and she had to warn the
Tendos, especially if their was a chance in hell that Ranma was alive. If there
was there was one place he would eventually turn up with absolute certainty, it
was here and she intended to be there when he did.
She leapt over the
compound's wall with ease and stepped up to the back door, her hand pausing at
the doorknob. She cocked an ear to more precisely discern the conversation
inside.
"And there
you were running around with that sword," Now who was that? Ukyo wondered
as she turned the knob softly. Some new girl? "like you were possessed or
something!"
"You can't be
serious." That was Nabiki's voice, she noted. The dry, doubting tone could
only be hers. "I don't even own a sword."
"Swear to
God, Auntie." A lower voice continued. Definitely a guy. Wait… Auntie?
"You were chasin' ol' Grandpa like crazy! Chop! Chop! Chop!"
'Chop chop chop?'
Ukyo twitched as she stepped through the hallway. While chasing the old Panda
down and serving up panda steaks did paint a lovely image, she just couldn't
see Nabiki with any sort of weaponry, let alone a possessed sword.
"Oh my,"
Kasumi started, looking over the teens shoulders. "We weren't expecting
you, Ukyo-chan."
The Okanomiyaki
Master now stared on the strange group, and a familiar wave of deja'vu rippled
through her. Kasumi and Nabiki were familiar of course. She saw them at least
once a month, more if they stopped by her restaurant. No, the deja'vu was born
of the teens next to them, one spiky haired red-headed boy and one green haired
pig-tailed girl who was a dead ringer for Ranma's female aspect. The red hair
on the boy was telling enough and if she could have combined the styling, her
best friend's girl type would have been sitting right there in front of her.
Still, the girl, like the boy she had seen a mere fifteen minutes ago, wasn't
an exact match to the faces she knew too well. This Rankos' features were
sharper and if her sitting proportions were any indication, slightly less
busty, even if the ages were fairly close.
"Let me
guess…" Ukyo pointed to the kids, looking at Kasumi. "More of Ranma's
kids?"
Kasumi nodded
cheerfully and Nabiki picked up on the slight twist of grammar. "'More'
kids?" She stared at the two who had been snacking on Kasumi's homemade
cookies. They paused under the scrutiny.
Ranko shrugged.
"Musta been Akira." She a paused looking, looking up at the chef
expectantly. "You didn't try to split 'Kira-kun in half again, did you,
Aunt Uuks?"
Ukyo blinked. As a
matter of fact she had. With that thought, she snapped. "How the hell
do you know so much about us!"
"Think I can
explain that, Ucchan."
She whirled around
at the all too familiar voice and found him, Ranma Saotome. There were
differences. He had aged. Slightly taller. But Ukyo knew beyond a shadow of a
doubt. This was the real thing. He was exactly how she had pictured them
growing up together as a couple. The chef was so caught up in the moment that
her brain barely registered the two women next to him, and she slammed into him
hard enough to pin him to the doorway.
"RANCHAN!"
Ranma let out the slightest of 'oofs' as he was nailed to the door and locked
in a fierce embrace that he readily accepted. It had been a long time for Ranma
too. Even though nearly every reality they had visited had an Ucchan, they were
all different in some intrinsic way. This one was his. "Oh God, I
thought I lost you! I thought I…" The rest of her words became
intelligible as she lapsed into incoherent sobbing.
"I missed you
too, Ucchan…" Ranma simply stroked her head as she cried in his shoulder.
Setsuna smiled and the kids collected around her, now numbering three. The two
additions didn't go unnoticed.
"Is that Ono?
And Ranko?" Both children turned from the beautiful scene to one they had
come to dread over the many realities they had visited. The light shining in
Nodoka Saotome's eyes had an unnatural gleam to it. "GRANDBABIES!"
"Ack! Gramma!
Cut it out!" A pitched female voice hollered from one arm while the arm squirmed
with the redheaded boy.
"No! Not
agaaaain!"
The commotion was
enough to break Ukyo from her joyful reunion and stare as Nodoka wrestled with
the teens. "You all better now, Auntie Ukyo?" Her sight came down to
find the little Ranma with purple eyes she had attacked earlier.
"Almost,
kiddo." She smiled faintly, then looked back up to Ranma. "Almost.
You really have some explaining to do, Sugar." Her eyes then turned
to the woman who was watching with amusement as the two other children had the
life crushed out of them. "Got somebody you want to introduce me to?"
"Eh…"
From experience, Ranma knew this situation could break any number of ways from
grudging acceptance to outright violence. Not that his wife couldn't handle
anything the chef could literally dish out, but it'd be a shame if he'd have to
subdue his best friend. "Ukyo, meet Setsuna… My wife."
Silence hung in
the air for a few precious moments as the two sized up one another. In a
detached part of her brain, Ukyo could see what might have attracted
her…ex-fiancée to the woman. She could have given any of the fiancées a run for
their money in the looks department alone, not to mention having a figure to
die for, something she evidentially had no trouble showing off. Between the
green hair and red eyes, exotic was definitely one word for her. Woman… The
word hung in her mind as a statement in itself. This was by no means a girl or
a teen, and that put her in a class by herself. Under any other circumstances,
she might have thought Ranma seduced by her maturity, until coupled with the
fact that the Ran-chan next to her was nearly the same age. Somewhere in his
six month journey back to Nerima he had aged nearly ten years, acquired a wife
and three children, the oldest of which looked about as old as Ranma used to
be.
The mathematical
discontinuity helped to blunt most of her jealousy.
"Um, nice to
meet you…" She strained. "I guess."
Setsuna inclined
her head graciously. It was probably as good a greeting as she was going to get
at the moment. "Likewise. I've been looking forward to meeting Ranma's
best friend."
"And
fiancée." Ukyo added, somewhat bitterly. Setsuna held her silence while
the girl turned to study Ranma further. "What the hell happened to you
Ran-chan?"
"Good
question."
"Indeed."
Ranma now had
three sets of eye balls riveted to him and he sighed. "Goddamn temporal
mechanics."
"Ranma-chan
never seems to have a problem with temporal theory." Setsuna mentioned
with a mischievous smile that boardered just this side of mysterious to
everybody else watching the pair curiously. Ranma scowled.
"Oh sure,
laugh it up." The pig tailed martial artist commented dryly before turning
to the others. "I'll explain, but it's long and I don't wanna repeat it
five hundred times. Where's Akane and the parents?"
"Father and
Mister Saotome have taken the night out and Akane…" Kasumi let an
uncharacteristic pause creep into her answer. "Um, Akane is…"
"On a
date." Nabiki finished with her usual consideration for others. Ranma
blinked. A date? The Tendo held out her hand expectantly. "Two thousand
yen."
Ranma was still
stumbling over the fact that Akane was on a date of her own volition when his
wife cut in. "Now, now. We don't want to ruin the surprise for my
husband."
Nabiki turned her attention
to the red-eyed woman, who was supposedly the martial artist's wife with a
mixture surprise and doubt. "You know?"
"My dear, I
am the Senshi of Time." She chided Nabiki as if lecturing a small child.
"I'm the one who arranged it, after all."
Nabiki's eyes
widened and the color drained from her face. It was, of course, impossible. But
the Senshi of Time… had hooked her sister up… with… that person. The
Tendo took a step back, realizing that this woman's manipulations not only
eclipsed hers own by several magnitudes but they were outright devious, if not
downright perverted in nature.
"You didn't."
"I did."
Nabiki stared
incredulously at the green haired woman for a moment before her eye began
twitching. Slowly, she moved to the living room seat furthest from the Senshi,
who simply smile serenely.
Ranma glanced from
sister to wife. "I'm almost tempted to take you up on the offer now,
Nabs."
Nabiki shook her
head emphatically. "Uh-uh. The deal is withdrawn, Saotome." She
continued to eye the Senshi of Time warily.
Ranma watched the
trepidation pool in the middle sister's eyes, and turned back to his pleasantly
smiling wife. He sighed. "I knew it. This one is much worse than Tau Ceti,
ain't it?"
Setsuna gave him a
friendly peck on the cheek. "My dear husband, I have no idea what
you're talking about."
Nabiki shivered
from across the room. This was her idea of a present to Ranma? No fucking
way was she going to cross that woman. Or Ranma. Or his children. Ever.
Ranma, on the other hand, seemed to accept it as a fact of life, which it
probably was, she realized. You get to know somebody pretty well after nearly
twenty years of marriage, right? Well, whatever. Nabiki let her eyes float
across the room's other players. The new kid was definitely younger, had weird
purple eyes but otherwise looked like a smaller version of Ranma minus the
pigtail. Been busy, she snorted mentally. Her eyes continued and stopped on her
older sister. Nabiki frowned at the unnatural sparkle she had just noticed in
Kasumi's eyes. They were directed on Ranma's person. Nabiki's thoughts
stumbled. Oh you've got to be kidding… No, it makes sense, the middle
Tendo corrected herself. He may have not been when he first arrived three years
ago, but Ranma Saotome was definitely a man's man now. She could see why Kasumi
was paying all kinds of attention now. With his well defined body and matured
looks, he had moved from her little brother to a high school girls wet dream,
let alone somebody would show up on Kasumi's radar… As if he didn't elicit that
reaction in half Furikan's population already.
"The nerve of
him, Tendo!" A gruff voice braked with indignation, cutting through the
idle chit chat that the family had been engaged in. The door opened, admitting
one balding, fattened martial artist and his friend, a skinnier, mustachioed
man with black hair. "Kicking us out like that!"
"I thought
you said you paid off the bar tab, old friend…?" The skinnier man
questioned as the two moved deeper into the house and into the sight of the
others.
"Well, I, uh…
Oh look! You have guests, Tendo!" Genma Saotome dodged the inquiry,
successfully diverting his long time friend's attention.
Soun Tendo stopped
in the hall and studied the strangers mingling with his family. "It would
appear you're correct Saotome." The children were what his eyes fell upon
first, noting two his daughters age and a third in his early teens. His expert
eye, however, noted they were all martial artists. All the better, a part of
his dim thought process noted, always on the lookout for potential suitors for
his daughters now that Saotome couldn't hold up his end of their old bargain.
Not through any fault of his own, of course. You couldn't ask for anything
better than a son who saves the world. The younger boy was too young, the girl
was, well, a girl, but the spiky haired red would do just…
"Nodoka-chan,
what are you doing here?" Genma blinked, skipping over the strangers
directly to his wife, who was presently conversing with a green haired young
lady.
"Oh, I'm glad
you're home early," Nodoka turned to the new arrivals, motioning the
younger lady to her side. "I'd like to introduce you to somebody very
important."
Genma's eyes
narrowed. She didn't have the honor blade, but she had the smile. That
mischievous smile. On average, he didn't like what the smile held in store for
him, but it was far too late to extricate himself now. "And who is
that?"
"Our daughter
in-law!"
Genma blinked and
immediacy began to wonder what wild scheme his wife was involved in now. The
boy's death had rattled her to be sure, but this was a bit beyond the norm. He
studied the woman at her side and wondered how he was going to break the news
that there was no husband to be or engagements to be had. "Look, don't
know what my wife has told you but there's no way you can be our daughter
in-law."
Setsuna blinked
innocently. "And why is that… father?"
The bald martial
artist winced. Dammit, he was too late and she was too ensnared in his wife's
machinations. "Because we don't have a son to be wed to."
"Is that
right?"
Genma knew that
voice. Knew it well. He spun around and found the visage of his son, older, but
his son none the less. There was only one thing that came to mind as he ran
into the young man, wrapping him up in a fierce bear hug. "Ungrateful boy!
What do you think you're doing, dying like that! You, um, had your mother
worried stiff!"
Ranma endured the
throttling before breaking the embrace easily, allowing his father to soak in
the details. Soun stepped to his side, studying the presumed dead martial artist.
"Your son is… grown up, Saotome." He frowned at the implication. On
second thought, Ranma wasn't completely outside the range to be engaged to his
daughters, specifically Kasumi.
"Indeed he
has, Tendo!" Genma grinned from ear to ear, taking the fact that Ranma
looked nearly a decade older with a grain of salt, yet another one of the
mysterious circumstance that plagued the boy's existence on a daily basis. Then
he gained a thoughtful countenance, as if picking up on his friend's concern.
In truth, their mental processes were never too far from mirroring one another
on a certain topic. "Hmmm, a bit too old to marry your Akane or Nabiki
now. I think--"
Ranma stepped back
with bland look on his face. "I think you missed an important plot
development." Genma and Soun blinked. They had missed something? A green
haired young lady stepped up to his side. "My wife Setsuna Saotome."
"How do you
do Mister Saotome?" She inclined her head gracefully and it took Genma a
moment to recover.
"Well you can
always--"
"And our
three children Ono, Ranko and Akira." Ranma beckoned their offspring over,
who lined up around them. Genma and his partner were left speechless. Ranma was
married. With children. How do you force an engagement through that? Luckily,
one person had the answer.
"Kasumi will
just have to become Ranma's mistress." Nodoka stated with ineffable calm.
The reactions varied. Kasumi instantly lapsed into a glowing blush, which might
have had something to do with the fantasies creeping into her head. Ranma twitched.
No matter how many times this happened, he'd never get used to it. Setsuna
simply sighed with a frown. Nodoka's were all the same when it came to the
driving need for grandbabies.
"No
mistresses, Mom." Ranma replied with a calm born of numerous exposures to
this exact same situation. "Got a wife, got kids."
"But…"
"No
buts." Ranma stated firmly. It had taken him several realities with
Nodoka's single minded focus to build up that level of forceful resistance to
his mother's relentless focus, but he had finally developed a healthy
resistance to it; even the saddened face that now reflected upon him. Even as
Ranma stopped one of the Nermian gears of fate cold, another one loosed itself
upon his life once more.
"That's
it!" Genma shouted. "Fear not, Tendo, the schools can still be
joined!"
All eyes turned on
the elder Saotome and Ranma felt the first twinges of fear. Genma's random
spurts of inspiration were something to be on guard for. They normally led to
random chaos and problems for his son more often then not, and Ranma wasn't
looking for any more to call his own.
"Look,
Pops…"
"Indeed,
Saotome?" Soun leaned forward with interest, ignoring Ranma completely.
"It's right
her in front of us, old friend!" Genma smiled confidentially.
"Obviously the boy is married. Can't do anything about that… But his son,
however…"
Ranma's gut turned
to solid ice. Setsuna frowned. How they could not have seen this one coming was
totally and completely beyond them. Soun Tendo's blank look persisted for a
moment before realization dawned on him. "You're right!" Both parents
were now staring intently at the redheaded Ono Saotome.
"What?"
"Run."
His father whispered. "Run while there's still--"
"Ono,
grandson!" Soun latched on to one arm and Genma latched on to the other.
"Am I to understand you're single?"
"Well…?"
"Excellent
news, grandson!" Genma piped cheerfully. "You're engaged!"
"WHAT?"
Ono shrieked, trying to wrestle his way out of their grip. "How the hell
am I engaged! Pop, what the hell? To who!"
"Talk some
sense into him before I vaporize them, hun." Setsuna growled, her red eyes
flashing with threat.
Ranma took
Setsuna's advice to heart. "Look old man, you ain't engagin' nobody
agai--"
"To my
daughters, of course!" Soun replied happily. "This is my daughter
Nabiki, she's eighteen and Kasumi, who is twenty." Soun directed his
attention to the girls in question. Nabiki was now staring daggers into her
father while Kasumi's mouth simply hung open. "Choose the one you want.
She's your fiancée."
The young Ono
Saotome was now looking at his grandparent in total disbelief as Nabiki turned
to her father. "You know, I think Kasumi would be a much better--"
"Oh no,
Nabiki." Kasumi cut her sister off politely before she could get going.
"While I want to marry an Ono, I'd prefer mine to be a doctor." She
paused, her face turning a bright pink. "Oh my, did I just say that?"
"I'm not
marrying a martial arts jock, sister." Nabiki stated.
"Who are you
callin' a martial arts jock!" Ono bristled from near by and the
grandparents laughed heartily.
"See, old
friend?" Genma stated with a wide smile. "They're a perfect couple
already!"
"Indeed they
are, Saotome!" Soun replied with an equally wide smile.
"Have I ever
mentioned that your parents are complete and utter morons, Ran-chan?" Ukyo
leaned in and Ranma nodded soberly.
"At this
rate, he'll have all my old fiancées engaged to him in no time." Ranma
observed dryly as his son and Nabiki argued back and forth.
"Though the
red hair does make him kinda cute." Ukyo replied wistfully. "And since
I can't have you…" She looked at her best friend, who now wore a horrified
expression. She smiled evilly.
"Gotcha."
Ranma shook his
head. "That wasn't very nice."
"Consider it
payback for hauling off, adding ten years and getting married on me." Ukyo
replied with mock indignation.
"You don't
know the half of it." Ranma muttered, earning another look from the chef.
"Tell you when Akane--"
"We're
home!"
"--gets
here." Ranma blinked as the familiar voice rang through the air.
Akane Tendo
stepped into the room, pausing as she noticed all the people. The tall girl
behind her almost ran into her when she stopped and both were now looking
around curiously. Ranma paled. It wasn't the sight of Akane Tendo that produced
the reaction. No, it was the girl she was holding hands with. She was a tall,
busty brunette, the martial artist observed and not just a little on the
attractive side.
She was also fully
equipped, if memory served.
Akane had yet to
catch sight of him, and he turned to his wife, who was barely stifling her
giggles. "You didn't…"
"Consider it
an early birthday present." Setsuna smiled evilly and Ranma twitched.
"You fixed
her up with Makoto Kashiwagi?!" Ranma could barely keep his voice
below a squeal.
His wife's evil
grin lapsed into a patient smile. "It was the least I could do after
having called my husband a pervert so many times." Ranma arched an eyebrow
and Setsuna continued happily. "Besides, Makato was probably the best one
I could have chosen for her."
"Really."
Ranma folded his arms and eyed her skeptically.
"Really."
Setsuna stated with pleasant certainty. "You don't even want to know how
many boyfriends Akane would have broken if I hadn't--"
"RANMA!"
The martial
artist's head turned on a swivel to find Akane Tendo gaping at him. "Hey
Akane. What's new?"
"You're
alive!" She jumped forward, practically mowing down anybody in her path to
the pigtailed man. This ended with the inevitable "GACK!" being
squeezed out of him.
"Oof! Now
that ain't exactly new, Akane-chan."
Silence pervaded
the room as everybody watched the reunion between old friends take place. Akane
held on to Ranma for another moment before fully taking in the details of his
seemingly impossible change, stating the obvious. "You've… Changed?"
Ranma smirked,
glancing over her shoulder to the brunette waiting patiently for an
explanation. "And you stole my fiancée."
Akane blushed.
"B-Baka."
"Sometimes."
Akane turned her attention to the new speaker, the red eyed, green haired
woman. "I'm Setsuna Saotome… Ranma's wife."
Akane blinked, looking
from martial artist to the woman and back. "Wife?"
Ranma nodded and
motioned his children over. "These are my three kids. Ono and Ranko,
seventeen and Akira, thirteen." He watched incomprehension spread across
her face. "I've been gone twenty year, Akane-chan."
"But you
just… We had the funeral…"
"Nope."
Ranma explained gently. "We got kicked around on our way back. Took me and
Set-chan twenty years and change just to get back to this point."
Akane looked from
man to woman. "But… how!"
"I'm Sailor Pluto."
Setsuna admitted. "Time travel is one of my gifts."
"You… you
married a magical girl!" Akane gasped and Ranma couldn't help but
to smile.
"Yeah, tell
me about it." Ranma admitted, earning an elbow from his spouse.
"And had
kids?" Akane stared at the three, barely comprehending how people who
looked her age could possibly be Ranma's kids. The family resemblance was
definitely there. The one called Ono had inherited his father's bright red
girl-type hair in spikes, but held a lot of the sharper facial features of his
mother, as did his sister, who, aside from the slightly off face and green
hair, was nearly a mirror of her father's curse. The name Ranko was more than
appropriate. Then there was the little one, Akira. That one was a mirror image
of his father at thirteen, save the iridescent purple eyes.
"Personally,
I can't believe you had three." Ukyo leaned in and Setsuna shrugged.
"I only had
two."
Ukyo blinked and
the statement hung in the air as the room's occupants digested it. Ranma's eyes
flicked over to his wife. "Oh, you just had to bring that up."
"Payback for
the age comment earlier." Setsuna smiled as realization dawned on Nabiki
first.
"Is she
saying…" Nabiki stared at the martial artist, then an evil grin crept to
her face. "Oh no. This is too priceless!"
Ukyo watched as
the realization found her, then Akane, who was now slack jawed. "You… You,
pervert!"
"You sure
you're the one to be making that call, A-chan?" Ukyo recovered from her
shock, looking at the youngest Tendo, who instantly developed a bright pink
blush. Genma gasped and Soun paled slightly.
Akane blushed for
a moment, then glared at the chef, "Hey! Don't insult Mako-chan!"
"Me? I never
called her a pervert."
Akane looked down,
ashamed, for a moment, and softly said, "I was wrong."
Makoto wrapped her
arms around her girlfriend and gave her a little squeeze. "It's ok, Akane.
I forgave you a long time ago; what you've done for me since then has more than
made up for it."
Soun smiled at the
depth of emotion between his little girl and her ... signifciant other.
Then as Makoto's words echoed through his head, his smile faded, slowly
shifting into a frown, and then a slavering maw as he entered full demon-head
mode. "What have you been doing to my baby!" he roared.
Makoto gave a
little shriek and cowered down, trembling and stammering, "S-scary!"
Fortunately, the
demon was banished moments later by a forceful mallet blow to the head and a
battle cry of "Daddy! Stop picking on Mako-chan!"
Ranma scratched
the back of his head and remarked, "That looked strangely familiar,
somehow..."
Nabiki chuckled at
the scene and turned to Nodoka with a shark-like grin. "That doesn't sound
like a manly martial artist to me."
"On the
contrary," The Saotome matriarch corrected. "It's very manly of my
son to pleasure his wife in every way shape and form… And make more
grandbabies, of course."
Nabiki as a rule
didn't blush often. Her profession demanded a poker face at all times. This one
time, however, it cracked as her playful barb at Ranma was turned back on her.
A quick peek into her mind might have even revealed a little jealousy, because
if there was one thing Nabiki was, it was practical. She probably would have
put his curse to good use too.
Ono Saotome held
up his hand. "More information than I need to know."
"Same
here." Ranko blanched.
"Pop ain't no
pervert." Akira glared at his Aunt Akane, and she smiled weakly in return.
"Of course he
isn't." Akane managed, taking her own dates' hand… A tall, long legged
busty brunette. Ukyo was right. She really didn't have any room to talk
anymore. "We're all just surprised that he…"
"Adapted to
the curse so well?" Ranma finished, eliciting nods from the entire family.
"Let's just say I had some help." The sidelong glance back to Setsuna
didn't go unnoticed.
"Help?"
Akane wondered aloud.
"What sort
of… Help?" Ukyo continued, her mind conjuring up images of a green haired
whore seducing her best friend.
"You all know
the wish I made on that stupid sword, right?" More nods, and Ranma
continued. "Well, it wasn't nearly as stupid as we all thought. I found
out why I could never get a moment's peace and it was because of her."
Ranma jabbed a thumb back at Setsuna who smiled.
"You’re
wife?"
"Yep."
Ranma nodded. "About your time six months ago, she thought I was the bane
of human existence. She couldn't kill me so she set about 'occupying' my
time."
"True
love." Nabiki quipped dryly. Ranma managed to ignore the comment.
"Well, the
wish told me all about her and her activities. Everything from assassination
attempts to arranging marriages for me." Ranma explained, prompting an 'Oh
my' from Kasumi. "That wasn't the problem though. The problem was
everything else the wish was doing."
"And what was
it doing, Son?" Nodoka inquired curiously.
"Stuffing my
brain with the life and times of the Princess of Pluto here." Ranma took
the aforementioned princess's hand gently, even as she frowned at the
recollection of events. "The wish basically downloaded every memory she
had into my brain over a period of six months."
Ukyo shrugged.
"So you know her really well. How bad can that be?"
"I'm over
three thousand years old." Setsuna stated flatly, cutting off any further
questions. "Normal human memory suffers from information decay. Data
drop-off. No way could I possibly recall what I was doing 238bc, but the magic
Ranma invoked suffered no such restrictions."
"You were
chatting with Ptolemy the third." Ranma shrugged and the family looked at
him with disbelief. "Having the curse only made it worse. I was going
insane for a bit, thinking I was her at times."
"Then
how…"
"Did I stay
sane?" Ranma asked rhetorically. "Well, my princess here helped out a
lot." Nobody missed the affection with which Ranma termed his princess or
the blush on her cheeks that followed "And we had help from a Sailor
Moon."
"A Sailor
Moon?" Kasumi picked up on the subtle twist of grammar in reference to her
heroine, and Setsuna fielded the answer.
"Our journey
took us to several worlds and across many realities." She explained
patiently. It was actually a well rehearsed speech, given how many times they
had both been through it. Even the kids were yawning. "Many of those
realities bear a close resemblance to this one."
"So you found
a Sailor Moon and healed Ranma." Nabiki pushed with no small amount
of skepticism. Of course, there was that image with her and cursed sword
floating around in her head…
"Yep."
Ranma took over. "Wasn't a complete success, but it was enough to maintain
my sanity… Not to mention my manhood."
"So what does
that have to do with your curse, Ranma-san?" Mako-chan asked politely from
behind Akane.
The pig tailed
martial artist paused before answering. "The lines blur a bit
further."
"Sounds more
like mom." Ranko inserted, causing her brother and sister to nod in
agreement.
"So three
thousand years worth of memories plus your girl-type…" Ukyo theorized,
letting the answer drift off unfinished.
Ranma nodded.
"I've had plenty of time and opportunity over the last twenty years to
come to terms with that part of me. Hell, I don't even consider it a curse any
more."
"Obviously
not." Nabiki muttered to nobody in particular.
"Luckily,
that's all in the past." Soun stated agreeably. "You survived, got
married and returned with an honorable way to join--"
A black glow
erupted around Ranma and everybody, save his wife and kids took a step back on
reflex. A shadow aura rolled around the martial artist, turning him into a
black caldron of malcontent, offset only by his sparkling blue eyes. The gold embroiled
dragrons on black silk only served to make the effect more surreal.
"I really,
really hope the next words out of your mouth weren't going to be 'join the
schools'." The shadow Ranma growled with considerable menace. "If
you have a question about honor, you'll take it up with me. Not my
kids."
A pink flash of
light contrasted against the shadows and Ranma was joined by a transformed
Sailor Pluto at his side, who flipped the time key through an arc on reflex.
"And after my husband is done with you, I get my turn."
Both father
figures stepped back once more. "B-but Son!"
"If
Ono wants the hand of a Tendo, he can court her like any other boy his
age." Ranma's glare burned into his father, who tried to shrink against
the far wall. "I won't have you suffocate another relationship with
your inane scheming." He let his stare burrow into the pair a bit longer
before the shadows faded away. He turned to his mother in a considerably
gentler tone. "No mistresses either, Mom."
She waved the
comment aside with a smile. "Of course not. I'm more than satisfied with
your manly performance."
The blue eyes
flicked back to the awe stricken pair. "I've had twenty years to perfect
the art, and I guarantee you I'm a grandmaster in every sense of the
word. Set-chan here has more than enough power in her little finger to reduce
you to cinders. Do yourself a favor and leave it alone."
"Uh,
right…" Genma gulped nervously, his friend following suit with an excited nod.
Whatever the boy had been doing, his power was easily exceeding that of the old
master.
Setsuna studied
the sweating pair a moment longer and turned to her husband. "Think
they'll listen?"
"Not a
chance."
Setsuna
Saotome watched as the dawn's light filtered across the Tendo dojo property and
the man dancing across it. She smiled as her husband flowed through another
kata at a fraction of the speed he was capable of producing. Regardless, she
knew that this particular exercise wasn't about speed or power. It was about
control and centering himself. Quieting the wish borne memories. Kasumi Tendo
stepped out into the cool morning air and joined the Princess of Pluto to watch
Ranma glide through his practice. To Setsuna's surprise, the eldest sister dipped
into a low bow.
"Thank you
for bringing Ranma-kun back to us." Kasumi said in a low, reverent voice.
"We will always be grateful for that one thing… no matter how some of us
act."
"Really, it
isn't that--"
"No, it
is." Kasumi corrected softly. "Ranma was… is like my little
brother. Akane and Nabiki's as well, even if they won't admit it." She
looked over to the young man in black, who was now airborne though a near
impossible combination kick. "He really has gotten quite good."
"He's the
best." Setsuna admitted with a soft smile. "It took me a few years to
realize that, but he really is."
"He's been
training you." Kasumi stated with certainty, and the green haired princess
looked up at her in question. "It's obvious in the way you move."
Setsuna nodded.
"And the kids. He's a great teacher. It all seemed to come to the
forefront after he received his grand master's rating."
The pair of women
watched Ranma for another few minutes before he abruptly paused his exercise,
cocking his head curiously. It only took a minute for Setsuna to realize why,
as she reached out with her own abilities. Kasumi looked at her curiously.
"Happosai."
She grunted. "Must have picked up the power spike Ranma blew off last
night." She smiled grimly. "Probably wondering who the guest is."
"Oh my."
Kasumi gained a concerned look. "There won't me too much property damage,
will there?"
"Hah!"
Setsuna laughed. "He'll be lucky if he lasts five minutes against my
husband, let alone the time it would take to damage a single blade of grass on your
property."
Ranma sighed.
"You can stop hiding in the tree, Happosai-sensei."
On cue the tree
top rustled and the old master popped out, landing a mere three meters away.
"Ranma, m'boy! You continue to surprise me!" He eyed the grown boy
carefully. "Back from the dead and with a new found respect for your
elders to boot!"
"Good to see
you too, Master Happosai." Ranma bowed slightly and Kasumi was a bit
thrown by the display of respect.
"It'll become
obvious soon enough." Setsuna supplied, and Kasumi settled for a nod.
"My, my,
my!" The old man smiled. "You might be trainable after all."
"If you have
anything to train me, I'll be more than willing to learn." The martial
artist smiled. Across the yard, Genma had frozen in the doorway. Like his son,
he was accustomed to getting up early and practicing. What he was unaccustomed
to was finding his newly resurrected son squaring off against the Pervert
Master.
"Excellent!"
The old gnome piped. "After we're done, you can tell me all about how you
returned from the dead. First order of business is for you to try this
on." Happosai pulled 'this' out, a lacy pink bra. He tossed the offering
to Ranma, who caught it easily. The young man examined it and tossed it back.
"Think I'll
pass." Ranma shrugged and Happosai began to growl.
"I thought
you said you were ready to begin your training!"
Ranma blinked
innocently. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but it ain't my type."
Happosai blinked with surprise, a sentiment mirrored by his father across the
yard. "I'm more into the black stuff personally. See-through and the like,
you know?"
Even Kasumi had to
blink this time, and Setsuna smiled up at her. "And you think he's
kidding."
"Don't screw
with me, boy!" Happosai snapped and a palpable wave of power filled the
surrounding air. An angry blue glow surrounded the old master. "I felt the
spike last night! What have you been up to, Ranma?"
"A little of
this, a little of that." Ranma mused, incensing the pervert further. Under
normal circumstances, Genma would have intervened to save his son from the
massive can of whoop-ass his old master was about to unleash, but today wasn't
normal and neither was his son. If the old pervert had seen Ranma's display
last night, even he probably would have thought twice in provoking the boy. But
as it was…
"Kick his
ass, Boy!"
Ranma didn't even
turn around as Happosai stared over his shoulder in surprise anger. "I'll
deal with you later, Genma! Wear the bra or suffer my wrath, welp!"
Any trace of humor
faded away from Ranma's face. What remained was cold and dead. The shadows
flickered to life around the martial artist and spread over him like an angry,
light absorbing flame. Soon, the only thing remaining was his blue eyes and the
silken golden dragons.
"I'll take
the wrath."
Happosai stared.
In that moment, Ranma could have simply walked over and kicked his butt into
low orbit. He knew it, but couldn't help but to stare in shock and awe. The boy
was a goddamn reactor of power! The old master couldn't even take a step back
he was so enraptured with Ranma's transformation. Even as he watched, air
condensed around the martial artist and the ambient temperature dropped.
Droplets of moisture spread along the grass around him and the shadow shifted
from a masculine form to one far more feminine in nature. Happosai took a step
back in dread. The boy had just manipulated the transformation without any
external aid! He condensed the air around him, for cryin' out loud!
"Tell you
what, master Happosai. We'll do this in my weakest form." The female
shadow cracked her knuckles. "But if you've got something to teach me,
you'd best bust out with it now."
There was no
warning from the old pervert as he blurred in to open the enjgagement. He
couldn't afford a warning against that kind of power, and he took the young
heir hand to hand with his pipe. Ranma didn't even bother to step into an
attack stance, deflecting every single last one of Happosai's high velocity
strikes with ease. The master continued to probe what was presumably the pig
tailed girl beneath the shadows, only to find an impenetrably wall of movement
and deflections. The master disengaged abruptly and pair of bombs were pulled
from his personal weapons space, fuses already crackling down. He tossed them
in toward the martial artist, who simply let them them bounce off her chest and
fall to the ground.
BOOOOoooMMM!
The explosion
rocked the neighborhood with a compression wave of sound and light, waking
everybody for miles. The combined Tendo and Saotome families were instantly out
of their beds, watching the smoke waft away from the unharmed martial artist.
While the Tendo's simply stared, Ranma's brood hung their heads and yawned.
"Damn, it's
just Pop kicking Happi's butt again."
"I woke up
for this?"
"Auntie Kas-chan,
can you fix me breakfast?
The remaining
family members were treated to Ranma burning the gaping old man down with a
stare. There wasn't even a crater on the ground where Ranma was standing, like
he had somehow absorbed the entire blast. "Better kick it up a notch,
Sensei. I didn't even feel that."
A massive ki ball
formed in Happosai's hand and ripped out toward Ranma, who casually defected it
with an arm motion. The blue ball of energy arced skyward and promptly
exploded, momentarily blotting out the sun for a split second. The martial
artist frowned and took a step forward. The old pervert took a step back.
"Strike two. Tell you what, old man… Promise not to ever show your face in
Nerima again and I won't hurt you too bad."
"I'll show you true power, Boy!" Happosai proclaimed and his battle aura erupted from around him, growing in size. "See if I don't crush you!" The shadow Ranma simply shook her head and stepped up to the growing silhouette and reached into it with a dark gauntlet. As soon as her hand touched the barrier, the glowing blue aura halted its expa