Ranma ½ - Bits of
Alt Fanfic
By Ozzallos
Part 1
Chapter I
"Stupid ol' man." Ranma Saotome grumbled as they trod down another
dirt road somewhere through the interior of
The redheaded girl cast another glare at the giant Panda
walking beside her and her stomach growled, a not-so-subtle reminder of just
how well things hadn't been going. Sure, here's a great idea! Let's swim across
the
In fact, 'not gone well' was a serious understatement, Ranma
snorted sarcastically. 'Horribly wrong' would be a more accurate assessment of
their current situation, which basically consisted of wandering aimlessly down
some rugged trail for eight days without food. Oh, and lets not forget that I'm
a girl now too. Stupid ol' man. At least he got the panda puddle. Deserved
worse. As if bidden by his thoughts, the aforementioned panda stopped suddenly
and produced a wooden sign that read:
"Break camp!"
Ranma nodded, and the two ambled off the side of the road,
through the dense vegetation and into a small clearing. Ranma unpacked the
essentials and lit a fire, slowly warming a pan of water over it. For all of
their other problems, water had been in plentiful supply. It was a mixed
blessing however. While the frequent rainstorms kept them hydrated- and thus
alive -It also had this nasty habit of activating their curse. Cold water 'on',
hot water 'off'. Hot water was, of course, the scarcer of the two, which meant
both father and son were getting used to their cursed forms quite unwillingly.
Finally the water had reached a suitable temperature and the
Panda snatched it off the wire set, dousing himself completely. Before Ranma
now sat his old man in a karate gi and glasses, who had considerately left
absolutely no hot water for his own curse.
"Thanks a bunch, Pops." Ranma female timber quipped
irritably, drawing more water to be heated for his girl's body.
"Hmmf." Genma Saotome shrugged with indifference.
"Stop acting like a girl, Ranma. A real martial artist must be ready to
endure hardship--"
"Day or night. Yeah, yeah." The girl blew him off. It
was a speech she had heard many times to rationalize any number of screw-ups
the old man made. Even as she put the pan of water over the fire, thunder
rumbled in the distance, causing her to smile. She dumped the water out and
stood up. "I'm going to scrounge for food. Enjoy the fire." While
it lasts, she added mentally, walking off into the rainforest.
Ranma was ten minutes out from their impromptu
campsite when the downpour began, torrential walls of rain soaking anything and
everything. Everything included one redheaded martial arts prodigy, but this
time she didn't mind. The old man got his, no doubt about it. No way was he
going to stay dry in this stuff, she thought, holding an overly large palm leaf
overhead. It was a poor excuse for an umbrella, but better than nothing. And
better than Pops probably had at the moment, she grinned evilly.
The storm died out quickly as she knew it would, allowing Ranma
to continue her hunt for food. She could almost predict them like clockwork
after four months in the wild with nothing but the pack on her back, she noted
wryly. She did have to give the old man his due on that particular score- It was
excellent survival training. Totally unorthodox and completely unnecessary, but
there were merits to it. Slim ones. Very, very slim ones.
It was now an hour and a half into her search for food, and the
best she had been able to find was some unidentifiable berries. Ranma looked
them over, very tempted to pop a few in her mouth, but she wasn't that
foolish. They could be anything- including some nasty poisoning -so she stuck
them in a little pouch and kept moving. The redhead was just crossing a small
stream when she heard the sharp twang! of metal against metal echo up
the hillside. Ranma instantly went to high alert, easily recognizing the sound
of one blade biting into another. She went to a low crouch now, tuning her
senses through the ambient jungle noise and heard more of the sharp sounds.
Pitched battle, she thought, as they continued. Still a ways off though. I
could head back to camp, no one the wiser. Or I could see just who is having a
sword fight in the middle of a stinkin' Chinese rainforest, she smiled, finding
that particular option much more appealing than sitting with the Panda. Heck,
maybe they'll even have food.
'They' did, as it turned out, and she watched the fight
continue from the forests' edge. Ranma spied as a purple haired Chinese girl
wielding oversized bambori continued to repel attacker after attacker in a
series of one on one duels. She was pretty decent, the redhead observed, but
the food was by far more interesting. It was a veritable banquet and nobody was
touching it. In fact, nobody was even looking at it. All eyes were on the puffy
haired Chinese girl as she proceeded to pound another opponent into submission.
I could sneak in, Ranma thought as her entire being began to center around the
sucking hole in her stomach. In and out. They'd never notice a few dishes gone.
She began to take a step out of the forests' edge and stopped
as a voice echoed from the depths of her skull. "Be a man, Ranma! A
real martial artist must be prepared to do whatever it takes to survive!"
Wheels began to turn in her brain. Even steal, pops? Where's the honor in that?
"But you're starving!" Another voice echoed from the same pit.
"Who's gonna notice?"
"Damn you, old man!" She growled softly as she folded
to her knees, clutching her head. "Git out of my head!"
"That's just like a girl, Pathetic and weak!"
Ranma's fist pounded the dirt. It's your fault, Pops! All of it! I won't steal
for you! "Do it! Prove your worth to me, boy!"
"I said NO!" she punched the ground once more,
leaving a sizable dent this time. She stared at the dirt and her fist buried
into it. The voices were silent. Her breathing finally began to return to
normal and she smiled thinly. Take that ol' man. Then she noticed the shadows.
Rain shouldn't be here for another- She looked up and into the eyes of one
purple haired Chinese girl flanked by two exceptionally masculine women, swords
hanging loosely off their belts. The trio was all business. Ranma called upon
her exceptional linguistic skills to solve the problem facing her.
"Um, eh… Nihao?"
Chapter II
The
redhead was led- with some degree of deference, she noticed -to the center of
the village, where a mostly female crowd awaited the arrival of the interloper.
It was all Chinese, but Ranma knew insults and heckling when she heard 'em and
the mob threw them in earnest. She was prodded into the center where the crowd
had opened the space in a loose circle, and from it, the purple Chinese girl
appeared on the opposite side, unarmed.
She squeaked something in mandarin. And Ranma simply stared.
The dialogue was obviously directed at her but she didn't have a clue as to the
content.
"Uh, I don't speak…" More high-pitched mandarin cut
her off, and the Chinese girl was looking more than just annoyed now. Ranma
shrugged wearily. It wasn't as if she was looking to piss these people off, but
she couldn't understand a word--
"She wants to know why you have trespassed on the lands of
the Joketsuzoku Amazons." A gravelly female voice came from behind her.
Ranma spun around to find an old woman balanced gracefully on the tip of a
cane, her large eyes framed by a mane of gray hair that fell behind a green
robe. The fact that the other amazons weren't crowding her didn't go unnoticed
by Ranma.
Ranma looked from the Chinese girl to the old woman, probably
some sort of elder, and answered, "I… I had no idea I was in your
land…" Then some survival instinct kicked in at the last moment and she
added, "…Honored elder."
The old woman relayed the information to the crowd and the
girl, who rippled with angry sentiment. What that sentiment was exactly, Ranma
couldn't tell. But the tone was clear enough.
The girl belted out another round of mandarin and Ranma turned
back to the Elder for a translation. "She says that you must be a scout
from another tribe." The Elder's gaze narrowed on the redhead.
"N-No!" Ranma took a step back. "That's not it
at all!"
The Elder didn't bother translating as her physical reaction
communicated everything the rest of the tribe needed to know. "Then why
are you here?" She prompted.
Ranma sighed. Here it is, the story of her life. It would
either make her or break her with these people. "I'm on a martial arts
training mission from Japan. I was told," She didn't bother to add who had
told her, she thought cynically, "That there were many techniques to be
learned in China. As to why I'm here," Ranma set a depressed shrug.
"I'm so lost it's not even funny."
The Elder turned to address the Chinese girl and the crowd as a
whole, rattling through the translation. Another round of incomprehensible
murmurs rippled though the crowd, though the tone wasn't hostility this time
much to Ranma's surprise. Respect? Empathy? Even the Chinese girls' face was
reflecting those same emotions. What the…?
The Elder saw the confusion in Ranma's face. "You are a
Warrior Women among a village of Warrior Women, stranger. We are the Amazons of
Joketsuzoku and a training sojourn such as yours is not to be taken
lightly." Her gaze narrowed once more on the redhead. "However, all
have their place in this village and as a warrior, you are bound by our
edict."
"What… does that mean?"
"It means you shall fight for your place among us,
redheaded warrior." The Elder answered firmly
"I didn't come here to--"
"It does not matter what you came her to do or not to
do." The old lady cut her off decisively. "Win and accept your place
as an equal. Lose and become our slave… Or die."
Ranma's eyes widened as The Elder presumably relayed the
conversation to the rest of the village, which promptly began cheering
raucously. Oh crap, Ranma thought and their circle began to widen for the
impending duel. They're serious about this. Well she sure as hell wasn't going
to be a slave and dying was the pits too, so…
"Just what are the rules to this duel anyway?" She
asked the elder, who had been talking to one of the crowd.
"Anything goes. To the death, depending on the mood of
your opponent." The elder stated and was slightly surprised to see a tiny
smile creeping across the strangers face for the first time since her capture.
"Anything goes, huh?" Her blue eyes were flashing now
with an edge of steel in them. "I think I can handle that."
Ah, a true warrior then, the old woman realized and
acknowledged her with a smile in return. "Then your opponent is
Shampoo."
Ranma stepped further into the ring and the purple haired
Amazon warrior- Shampoo -did likewise. She sized the girl up, remembering the
scene as she had spied on the girl from the bushes. Ranma hadn't seen much of
her hand-to-hand abilities, but she knew the Amazon was fast. She didn't bother
to bow to her opponent, as the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts didn't
practice such niceties. Instead Ranma dropped into combat stance to indicate
her readiness and the Amazon smiled, doing likewise. The crowd went silent as
they waited for the first move.
Shampoo lunged and the duel was joined.
The purple haired Amazon was every bit as fast as Ranma
remembered and the arc of her fingers knifed in for the first attack, riding
along the girls arm and body in a graceful line. Ranma slid to the left in a
trail of dust, allowing the arm to arrow by before bringing her own fist high
to deflect the attack skyward. It connected but not at full force because at
the same moment, the edge of Shampoo's right palm swept in for hard chop. The
redhead pulled away from opening up the Amazon's guard completely and ducked
low. Even as the palm chopped away at nothingness, Ranma was already on the way
down, turning her low dodge into a spinning sweep which gathered nothing but
dust, the Amazon having hopped lightly back. Ranma recovered and flipped back
to open the distance. Both combatants dropped back into their stances to
consider their next moves.
The Elder was impressed. This redhead was a Warrior.
While Shampoo was still young, she was by no means a pushover and considered
one of the leading candidates to someday rule the tribe itself. The tournament
they had found this stranger at was evidence of that, as most of her opponents
went down within the first thirty seconds to a minute. This match might go for
considerably long unless she had totally misread the skill of the redhead's
opening moves.
The Amazon was smiling now and Ranma recognized it as one of
mutual respect. She returned the compliment then went on the offensive,
launching herself into a high flip. Ranma completed the first arc and fully
extended her right leg on the downward cycle, narrowly missing the Chinese girl
who rolled away quickly. The redhead wasn't done yet however, and shifted the
momentum around so that leg follow her, meeting the arm Shampoo had thrown up
hastily in order to block the kick meant for her head. It was a solid hit, but
Shampoo used the force of it to slide back, launching herself back to her feet.
Ranma came up as well, but not quite fast enough to retain the initiative and
the Amazon began a series of kicks. Ranma was dodging and deflecting each one,
but losing ground in the process. The next kick came in as a feint and Shampoo
instead used that momentum to spin and thrust two fingers into redhead's
shoulder.
Warning blasted through Ranma's mind as she brought up her
guard and fell for the feint, now out of position for the incoming attack. She
watched the two fingers extend and she knew the attack for what it was-- A
pressure point, one that would probably render her entire left arm useless if
it connected. Instead of backing away, she pushed into the attack and slid
sideways. The surprised Amazon had expected a retreat, not a step forward, and
it threw her timing off. The fingers connected and Ranma's entire arm screamed
with needle sharp pain. Even as her brain registered the agony and deadness,
part of it smiled as the Chinese girl's miscalculation left her entire right
midsection wide open. Ranma's palm cracked into Shampoo's ribcage with
considerable force and the redhead continued her slide in, rounding the strike
off with a savage elbow. She jumped skyward for a roundhouse kick but the
Amazon had already gone low, rolling away and breaking contact.
Ranma's left arm was now dead, but it had been payed for in
cash as Shampoo recovered back into a fighting stance, heavily favoring her
right side. There were definitely broken bones in there, Ranma observed coolly.
My left arm for her ability to breath well. Not a bad trade all in all.
Both combatants were now grinning ferally through their pain
and launched at one another simultaneously, Ranma planting a hand to the earth
to launch skyward while Shampoo arced in with knife-like grace. Both warriors came
together in a deadly flow, rolling and twisting as their attacks were blocked,
countered and renewed. The combat was pure and deserved the complete silence of
the Amazons watching over them, one warrior entwined with the other in a dance
of death that had become much more.
The redhead had just reversed the Amazon's attacking arm when
it hit her-- Ranma lost her grip on the girl as her guts twisted inside out
with cramps, probably due to severe malnutrition. She knew she had pushed her
body too hard in this condition and now was going to pay for it. Even the
momentum of her attack faltered as her entire midsection began to explode in
pain. Shampoo watched her guard fall and delivered a decisive palm to Ranma's
chest, blowing her opponent back ten feet before sliding to a stop at the edge
of the Amazon circle. Ranma struggled to right herself as the Chinese girl
arced in for her final attack, but her body wouldn't cooperate between the pain
and battle damage. She propped herself on a knee as the Chinese girl closed the
distance. Ranma knew she wasn't going to make it up in time.
Shampoo covered the final few feet, but slid to halt in a cloud
of dust at the last second. She floated back out of range and considered her
battered opponent from a defensive guard. After a few more seconds of
observation, Ranma watched as she turned to the stick elder and rattled
something off in mandarin. The elder responded by hopping into the ring,
finally balancing above Ranma. She too made her own observations before turning
to turning to the crowd with a proclamation Ranma couldn't hope to understand.
She finally made it to her feet, but knew she was probably looking as badly as
she felt. The Elder finished her speech and the entire crowd of women- and a
scant few man -Burst into applause and cheering.
Again, the old women read the expression of confusion on the
girl's face. "You have acquitted yourself quite well, young warrior. You
are an Equal among us."
Chapter III
"But… She had me…" She stared at Shampoo, then at the elder.
The circle had collapsed as the women intermingled with one another,
undoubtedly discussing the most excellent duel they had just witnessed. An
uncrowded circle of respect, however, was maintained around them at all times.
"Indeed she did, young one," The elder agreed,
"But it would have been a dark stain on her honor to strike one down who
hasn't had a meal in over a week or shelter for longer."
An Amazon from the crowd offered Ranma a walking stick and
began to look over her wounds. A similar attendant found Shampoo. "That
obvious, huh?"
The Elder chuckled. "Not at all. You hide it well. So well
that my Grand daughter didn't even notice until the last possible second."
A warm smile crept across her face. "And that is an honor that you bestow
upon us in and of itself, fighting in that condition and still displaying such
prowess without asking quarter."
Ranma winced as the woman she was guessing was a healer spread
some whitish salve across one of several open wounds. "Grand
daughter?" She looked at the purple haired girl who was having her ribs
attended to. The Amazon produced a friendly smile and nodded, apparently aware
of the conversation's general direction.
"Yes." The Elder nodded. "And since you have
been deemed worthy to receive such, I am named Cologne, an Elder on the Village
Council."
Ranma's mental process stopped momentarily as her words sank
in. Not just an honored elder, one of the honored elders. She silently
thanked whatever had sent that tiny bit of intuition to curb her normally sharp
personality that was the result of too much time on the road with Pops, no
doubt.
She bowed as best she could through her pain, leaning heavily
on the walking stick. "Thank you, Honored Elder. I'm Ranma Saotome."
She didn't find it necessary to throw around the fact that she was the heir to
the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts just quite yet. Or the fact that she
was really a guy. Something told her that would not be a welcome
revelation in this village of warrior women.
Cologne considered the young girl in front of her carefully.
This one was indeed fine stock. Highly skilled for her age, polite to her
elders and without a doubt, the heart of an Amazon Warrior. And some of her
moves had been quite exotic, while she could swear she'd seen one or two of
them somewhere before. And who knows how that duel would have turned out if the
girl had been at her peak and not suffering from malnutrition. Of course, she
favored Shampoo, but it would have been a glorious duel regardless.
The Elder began weighing her options. Yes, a way must be found
to absorb this one into the tribe. Simply recognizing her as an equal wouldn't
be enough. She would continue on her sojourn and be gone from us forever. By
the worn look of her gi, she has obviously been on the trail for many weeks, if
not months without respite. And nearly ten days without any real food. It
probably wasn't the first time, either. Yes. That is the way, she thought. We
shall bind her to us. Feed her, clothe her and teach her our ways. She is
looking for Chinese techniques, of which we have plenty. We shall adopt her
into the tribe and perhaps through my grand daughter and this one, break the
back of The Musk for good.
Cologne broke from her scheming to find Ranma and Shampoo
laughing at one another as the two compared their injuries, seeing who could
produce the most pain with a single poke. Cologne smiled, watching the pair.
And that is exactly how I'll do it.
Later that evening, Shampoo invited her new friend
to the banquet table that was her prize for winning the Tournament Ranma had
watched earlier. It was her right to do so, and Ranma Saotome happily- no, eagerly
-accepted. Shampoo smiled as the redhead profusely thanked her and tore into
the food.
"I like her, Grandmother." She stated simply in
mandarin. "She's a very nice girl. Quite funny too, even if I can't
understand a word she says."
Cologne chuckled, watching Ranma as well. "Yes, she is
quite animated, isn't she?"
Shampoo giggled. "And an excellent martial artist."
Her smile faltered slightly. "She would have been very tough at full
power."
Her grandmother nodded. "Indeed. So what say you?"
The Amazon looked from her Grandmother to her new friend.
"It would be sad to see her go so soon, but her journey will carry her
away from us."
"As I would expect." Cologne looked at her
granddaughter with tender concern. Of course there were tactical considerations
to be made in binding the redhead to the tribe, but there was an equally valid
non-tactical reason as well-- Shampoo had a severe deficit of friends. The
child was probably one of the best martial artists of her generation born in
the village, and that climb to the top hadn't been an easy one. Along the way
were bitter duels, rivalries and occasional bodies, but very few friends. Such
was the way of the Amazon. But this redhead was not of the Amazon. The same
rules did not apply in their entirety and the bond of friendship had already
been made through blood. Yes, this will fit every angle perfectly.
She leaned over to Ranma, switching to Japanese. "Saotome,
how long do you expect your sojourn to last?"
Ranma paused before taking another bite out of her chicken
wing. "Jeez, I'm not sure, wandering around aimlessly like this." She
thought about for a second. "Six months. Maybe a year if something
interesting turns up or we get lost some more."
"We?"
Cologne watched as two emotions crossed Ranma's face
simultaneously: embarrassment and disgust. "Uh, yeah. My old man's camping
out in the hills. I left him out there while hunted for food."
The Elder listened and watched Ranma as all pretense of
politeness was dropped on the subject of his father. At least she had a healthy
grasp of a man's station in the grand scheme of things-- Left at home to clean
while the female does the hunting. She turned to Shampoo and rattled off
something in Chinese, who replied in turn. Ranma looked at the Purple-haired
Amazon whose eyes were lit with concern.
"She asks if that was the demon you were wrestling with
when you were first captured?" Cologne translated the question. Even
Shampoo had seen the change in the redhead's body language.
Ranma looked at Grandmother and daughter. She could easily deny
it, but she hadn't lied to them yet and so far she'd come away pretty good on
the deal, so why start now? "Yeah. It was."
Another lever, Cologne noted silently, and flipped it just to
see what would happen. "You could bring him to the Village here. We have
ample--"
"No." Ranma cut the elder off firmly. "He
may be my father but that doesn't mean I'll make excuses for him. He'd use me
to rob you blind and make off with the goods behind your back."
"If our women caught him stealing, he'd be gutted and left
for the buzzards!" Cologne stated with incredulity. "No man
would foolish enough to cross an Amazon!"
"All the more reason to keep him out there." Ranma
jabbed a thumb back into the wilderness, and took a bite of the wing she'd kept
waiting.
Such excellent leverage, Cologne marveled silently. That would
come in very handy if needed in the future.
"Then I have a proposition for you, Saotome." The
redhead put the wing aside this time, turning her full attention to the elder.
"You are on a mission to learn secret Chinese techniques. The Amazon Tribe
of Joketsuzoku just happens to be in possession of many such techniques."
Shampoo watched the two silently, wondering what grandmother was up to and
Ranma leaned closer with interest. "I offer to teach these you these
techniques for as long as you want- or are allowed -to stay." She
added the last part as a subtle reminder of her father's invisible leash.
"R-Really?" Ranma's eyes widened. Screw the old man,
I'll stay here until I learn 'em all!
Cologne watched the anticipation roll off the girl. Ah, she
seeks knowledge with an appetite. Even better. And now the lynchpin.
"Of course, I would need to make you a formal member of the tribe and
teach you our ways. I'm sure you understand we can't teach our techniques to
outsiders and only to people we absolutely trust. Would that be a fair and
equitable arrangement?"
Ranma went for it hook, line and sinker. I mean, how bad could
it possibly be, she thought. Food, a roof and all the techniques you wanna
learn. Heck, could probably even spar with Shampoo. She's almost as good as me
in my girl body. "Y-Yeah. Sure, what do I have to do?"
The elder nodded at Ranma and hoped to her cane and up onto the
table, gaining the attention of the diners. She rattled off a mandarin speech
that sounded dreadfully formal. Ranma looked of to her right and watched as
Shampoo's eyes continued to widen, a silent 'oh!' forming at her lips. Cologne
finished by tapping her cane on the table with a resounding rap, as if to
formalize whatever she had just got done saying. With it, the entire table of
women jumped up and cheered for Ranma, who was very confused at this point. She
looked at Shampoo once more and her wide-eyed trance was broken as she locked
onto Ranma. She broke out into a huge smile and bounced onto Ranma to hug her,
squeeling wildly.
"What in the world did you say to them?" Ranma
paniced, looking up at Cologne.
"I told them from this day forward you and Shampoo are
sword maidens, sisters in battle and friendship. Ranma Saotome, you are now Joketsuzoku
Amazon."
Chapter IV
It
took a couple days before her Amazon doctor pronounced her fit to hike, but
when she did, Ranma packed some supplies, food for her father and set out.
Those few days had been enough to burn off most of the resentment she had been
feeling toward the old man, especially after being well fed and provided new
clothing, both which she hadn't seen in a long time. At the moment she was
wearing a traditional red silk Chinese shirt and black pants, both courtesy of
her new sword-maiden sister, she chuckled at the thought. Sister. Who
woulda guessed.
She stepped into the campsite, finding the smoldering campfire
and Pops sleeping next to it. "Hey, wake up ol' man!" Genma Saotome
yawned obliviously and turned over. Looks pretty well fed for somebody that
should be staving for ten days now, she observed dryly. Ranma gave the sleeper
a light kick. "I said get up, Pops, or I'll eat all this food
myself."
Genma's eyes popped wide open. "Food?" He sat up to
see his son holding a basket.
She sat down and shoved it over to him. "Yep. Real stuff,
not berries and twigs."
The Father tore the basket open and found that his son had
indeed struck pay dirt. Chicken, sausage, rolls, pork buns. "Where in the
world did you get all this?"
It was a rhetorical question Ranma realized as he was already
stuffing his face with food without care as to the answer. She answered anyway
just to see the reaction. "Oh, the Joketsuzoku Amazons."
Genma's eyes widened and he spit half the food out of his
mouth, the other half he chocked on. Yep, she smiled inside. That was the reaction
she was looking for. "Are you crazy boy? If they catch you stealing from
them them…!"
"…I'd be gutted and left for the buzzards, yeah I
know." Then Ranma winked. "But I didn't steal it."
"Then how'd you get it, boy?" Genma now sat up,
intently curious. The new clothing hadn't gone unnoticed either. Genma plowed a
roll into his mouth, awaiting the answer.
"Um, well, I got captured, fought the grand daughter of a
council elder and became her friend." She paused momentarily, as if trying
to remember it all. "Yep. That's about it."
The father blinked. Yeah. That's it. Then he began turning it
all over in his mind. "Hmmm, maybe we can work this to our
advantage…"
Saw that one coming, she mentally laughed without humor.
"Probably not a good idea, Pops."
"Why not?"
She sniffed dryly. "First and like you said, they'd hunt
you to the ends of the Earth and string you up. But thinking that you still
might want to try it, you gotta remember they're Amazons. I don't dare let 'em
know I'm really a guy, let alone bring another one in there." Ranma looked
at her father now intently now. "You heard how they treat their
guys?" Genma shook his head and Ranma answered. "Like wives."
With that train of thought shut down, Genma clearly wasn't
happy. "Then there's no point in sticking around."
Now all she had to do was convince him… "But they've got
those Chinese techniques we've been looking for!"
"Really?"
"Really." Ranma confirmed. "Got the Elder to
promise me to teach em since me and her daughter are friends."
"HA!" Genma snorted suddenly. "That's my boy!
But I can't stay out here forever while you learn 'em."
Ranma pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded in her
pants. "Gotcha covered." She handed it to her Father, who unfolded
what looked to be a hand drawn map. "That's the closest civilization,
about fifteen miles south. Should be able to stay there."
"Excellent, boy!" Genma complimented. "You learn
those techniques and pick me up when you're done!"
"I'll keep you posted!"
Ranma smiled as they both packed up, walking in different
directions. Normally she might have felt a twinge of guilt using her father
like she just had, but his conscious promptly quieted upon finding the wrapper
of a power bar at the perimeter of their campsite. So he was holding out
on me… Jerk. She walked off, watching storm clouds form in the distance.
Ranma smiled and pulled out the red bamboo umbrella Shampoo had loaned her for
the trip. Have fun, Pops.
"Today lesson Amazon law." Shampoo stated as Ranma
struggled to keep up with her mandarin. It wasn't that she was speaking like an
uncivilized lout; just that Ranma could only catch every other word. In fact,
it was Ranma speaking like the uncivilized lout. The last two months had
done wonders for her vocabulary as her integration into the Tribe had embarked
the redhead on a crash course in language immersion. But whatever her progress
in mandarin, her combat studies were proceeding at a fine clip as Shampoo and
various members of the tribe began teaching her the subtle arts of pressure
points.
"Amazon Law?" Ranma blinked and her sister smiled.
She thought she knew Amazon law. She had seen enough of it, after all. The
village was a warrior class system that leaned heavily on the concept of
'survival of the fittest' without taking it to its self-destructive conclusion.
The female was definitely the dominant sex in the society whereas the men were
kept subservient and ignorant, useful for little more than tending the village
and mating. Even she couldn't help but to take a poor view of these pathetic
excuses that were labeled men. No, not Men, she amended. Males. There
was a world of difference between the two. Of course, she dare not expose her
curse to anybody in the tribe for that very reason. She was a Man, a real man
and not one of these tribe males, but she doubted her friends would make the
distinction, as it was hardwired into their brains from birth.
That aside, Ranma had observed that the tribe operated much
like a wolf pack. There was a hierarchy maintained through mutual combat and
duels, the winner retaining rank and precedence over the loser. It was an easy
system to understand, one through which Ranma had established herself as an
Alpha Female along side Shampoo several times over since her arrival. After the
initial buzz of her duel with Shampoo and subsequent naming as sisters, a few
of the other women apparently thought that Ranma was easy pickins. After all,
Shampoo had her dead to rights in that duel, so putting her in her place should
have been easy, right? With a full belly and a roof over her head for the first
time in months, the new redhead corrected that assumption with a vengeance, and
it was now going on two weeks since her last challenge. Apparently, the sound
thrashing she had given her last opponent had sent a message to the other
women. In fact, her self-control slipped during that duel, causing her to
ruthlessly pound the Amazon into the dirt. Normally she allowed her challengers
some quarter. This one received none and the judges had to call the duel closed
before she broke her victim for life. But the message was loud and clear: Don't
screw with the new girl. Ironically, the ritual duelings produced very
little in the way of hard feelings and Ranma often found herself working with
the same tribe members she had only hours ago defeated in battle as if it were
a fact of life. It is a fact of life here, she corrected herself. I'd
better get used to it.
"Sister know most Amazon Laws," The purple haired
girl waved the question aside, knowing her sibling's thoughts well enough by
now. After all, the last two month had been a crash course in Amazon language
and etiquette for the redhead. "Shampoo teach Kiss of Death."
Kiss of Death…? Ranma mouthed silently.
"Sounds…painful."
Shampoo nodded seriously. "If Amazon defeat by outside
woman, Kiss of Death only way of honor." Ranma listened intently as she
continued. "Only kill outsider restore honor."
Ranma was visibly taken back. That was kind of… Extreme
"But…WHY?"
"Amazon rank determined by duel." Shampoo explained
and Ranma nodded, well familiar with this particular nuisance of Amazon
hierarchy. "If outsider win, put entire tribe at risk. Outsider have
opportunity to control. No let happen, seal breach with life if need. Retain personal
honor."
Ranma nodded, understanding the concept. Highly extreme, but
logical given the structure of Amazon society. Defeat a few key Amazon's and
you might just be able to insert yourself into a position of power under the
right circumstances. Granted, she couldn't imagine what those circumstances
could be for the life of her, but it did make some sort of sense.
"What if Ranma defeat Shampoo in first duel?" She
asked tentatively. "Shampoo give kiss of death?"
Ranma's sister shook her head. "No, different. Duel
determine Ranma as equal. Honorable, no threat to tribe ranking. Both agree on
duel." Shampoo smiled and Ranma smiled back.
Two months had seen both girls grow close, and Ranma absently
noted that her friendship was becoming much like that of her childhood friend,
Ucchan. The Amazon was quite fun to be around and she didn't have to worry
about walking on eggshells around her like most girls she'd met elsewhere. In
fact, neither had a problem brutally pounding on one another during their
routine sparring, since both were there for a reason, and that was the
betterment of The Art. And to have fun. It had been a long, long time
since Ranma had somebody she could simply cut loose with in friendship and on
the mat.
The lessons continued and Shampoo outlined the various other
Kiss protocols, including the Kiss of Marriage, at which Ranma blanched. Both
girls laughed and Ranma forced her sister to continue in Japanese. It had been
a game they had started, half their conversations would be conducted in Mandarin
for Ranma's benefit while she taught Shampoo Japanese for the other half. The
results were the same, however, both girls ending up sounding like uncivilized
louts much to their mutual amusement.
Shampoo finished the lesson and smiled slyly at her sister.
"Tic and Tac plan ambush today."
Ranma smirked knowingly. Shampoo's little cousins were quite
taken with Shampoo's new sister, and when they weren't hanging on her, were
using her to hone their skills through obscure and unorthodox ambush tactics.
"Tic and Tac always ambush. Maybe hang cousins by roof this time."
Shampoo laughed openly, then asked, "Ranma take bath with
Shampoo?"
The question had been asked enough times in Ranma's two month
stay that she didn't freeze up at the thought. It was an innocent enough
question and she was still getting over the embrassement of seeing the Amazon
in the nude on occasion, but under no circumstances could she ever
permit herself around a sizable amount of hot water. She suspected the curse
activated less on the amount of water and more on the surface area it covered,
which meant a hot bath with her sister was completely out of the
question.
Ranma tried to affect embarrassment and waved Shampoo off
politely, but she knew the excuse would only work for so long. After all, six
months to a year was a long time for a girl to turn down such an offer from a
close friend.
"How are your studies progressing, daughter
in-law?" Cologne asked Ranma. She had been called into her hut two weeks
later and now the two sat smiling at one another, drinking tea. Cologne's hut
was a mystical place, Ranma had long since observed, filled with trinkets,
jewelry and scrolls. She couldn't help but to stare everytime she came in,
always finding something new on the shelves. If old Pops ever got wind of this
place… Ranma thought grimly. She didn't have a fond opinion of her old man, but
she'd hate to see him strung up simply because he couldn't control his greed.
"Very well, Honored Grandmother." Ranma replied,
inclining her head in deference. While the elder was subject to the same rigid
code of dueling and honor as the rest, it had become quite obvious that
Cologne's skill easily eclipsed her own through teaching and the occasional
sparring match. She was a hard, but fair instructor, something Ranma could
respect. "I have mastered five ranks of pressure points and their
counters, and am progressing through the sixth. Shampoo has been very helpful
in that area of The Art."
Cologne nodded, taking another sip of tea. "You are hungry
for techniques, daughter in-law. It will not be long before we will begin
advanced training." She watched the girl's eyes shine brightly. "But
we are here to discuss another matter, however." Ranma waited patiently
for the elder to continue. "Why do you not take a bath with my
granddaughter, Saotome? She is very concerned."
Ranma's well masked facade of control faltered visibly this
time. She knew. How much remained to be seen, but she suspected at very
least and Ranma knew that her body language had just confirmed that suspicion.
She looked down at her clay mug of tea. "I… I can't
say."
"Jyusenkyou." The Elder stated with certainty
and Ranma's head snapped up, eyes wide. Just how much did she know?
"Y-Yes. Jyusenkyou." Lying wasn't even an option at
this point. Now it was all damage control.
'Tell me, daughter in-law, which spring did you fall
into?" Cologne asked, leaning across the table. Ranma simple stared at her
mug in silence. Cologne now considered her next move very carefully.
For all her openness and honesty toward the tribe, she had
finally stumbled on the one secret the redhead was not willing to share. She
could, of course, simply splash her with the hot tea in her hand and find out,
but if she was to be bound to the tribe, her next steps would have to be taken
very carefully indeed. Were Ranma of lesser ability, she might very well
consider that approach- pride be damned -but she was obviously a martial arts
prodigy. Cologne wasn't prepared to risk that future on the simple splash of a
cup, and today she decided to take the high road.
"The springs of Jyusenkyou bear any number of strange and
disgusting creatures, Daughter in-law. You are not the first nor will you be
the last to fall victim to its curse." She explained, and the redhead
slowly turned her eyes back upon the elder. "I understand your fears and
will keep your confidence until you yourself are ready, Saotome." She
paused before continuing, "Shampoo, however, deserves to at least know why
you remain evasive on the topic."
Ranma nodded slowly. "She does, Honored Grandmother. I
will tell her as much."
Chapter V
The
boy was getting strange, Genma Saotome noticed as she stopped by the
village of Xing Zhao for her monthly status report. He could understand better
than anybody why he wore the female persona more often than not, as an
ill-timed rain shower would blow his son's cover, but there were subtle things
that were beginning to disturb him. The girl at the restaurant table in front
of him was not the same one that had come up with this cockamamie scheme six
months ago.
Ranma's external appearance was telling enough, which had moved
from a traditional silk shirt and pants, to a feminine silk vest and a matching
bottom, while the loose ponytail tied into her hair had been allowed to grow
out to about the middle of her back. For all her external changes, the ones to
her personality were more worrisome. The girl gained a frosty exterior in mixed
company and if Genma wasn't mistaken, an air of superiority beyond the usual
Ranma. That same frosty exterior was far quicker to displease than the Ranma
who had began this journey, and he had seen how decisively she dealt with
displeasure on the last guy who had made a pass at on the way into town.
Thankfully, not that many were foolish enough to do so since her entire
presence practically screamed 'Amazon'.
"Oh, and let's see… Grandmother has started to us the
Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken technique." Ranma smiled as she continued her
status report, brining Genma's mind back to the table. That was another disturbing
thing, he noted. Why was she referring to this tribe of savages with such
familiarity? Unless he missed his count, Ranma had mentioned a sister, two
cousins and this grandmother throughout the numerous reports he had received.
"It has the potential to--"
A patron of the restaurant bumped into her chair and Ranma's
head whirled around. Genma watched the icy exterior snap into place and the
offending man froze as she made eye contact. The girl's cold blue eyes demanded
quick redress with the promise of consequences if it wasn't received promptly.
Fortunately, the patron had well honed survival instincts, as the Amazons were
well known in this area.
"Um… Uh… My humble apologize!" he sputtered and the
girl turned back to her father, the man no longer an item of interest or even
worthy of a reply once etiquette was satisfied.
Genma continuted to watch as the frosty exterior snapped away
and was replace by something closer to his son's personality.
"Hmmm, now where was I…" She began as if the incident
had never took place. It would have never occurred to the father that in the
last six months, Ranma had been fully immersed in Amazon politics, their ways
of honor and had seen over twenty ritual duels that would challenge her ranking
within the tribe and thus her ability to learn her new techniques. It had been
a hard school, one that demanded immediate satisfaction to insult, and Ranma
had received enough of those from her contemporaries that continued to
treat her as an outsider. Cologne and Shampoo had coached her early on that
such action could not be tolerated by her or it would become worse. Needless to
say, Ranma was quick study and it was becoming second nature to correct any and
all trespasses with the use of liberal amounts of force.
Genma frowned. "Y'know boy, maybe this wasn't such a good
idea." Ranma stopped and looked at his father curiously. "I mean, we
can learn techniques from anywhere without nearly this much hassle."
"Whaddya mean? It's better than the trail, y'know?"
The father considered this. Ranma was right on that account. "And
I'm actually learning new stuff every day. It's better than falling into
another spring or something." Genma mumbled in agreement. "Let me buy
you some sake and we can talk it over."
Which sounded like a damn good idea, he thought, totally
unaware that he was being ruthlessly manipulated.
Month eight had seen the ritual duels drop to next
to nothing as she went about her daily business of helping the Tribe, her
standing in it all but solidified. Shampoo and herself had mastered the Kachu
Tenshin Amaguriken- Chestnut Fist -and grandmother was promising an even more
spectacular technique once she and her granddaughter returned from a training
exercise today. Cologne had called it the Hiryu Shoten Ha and Ranma
eagerly awaited her return so that they could get started.
She heard footsteps crunch behind her at a run and turned to
find a white robed Chinese boy with long raven hair bound up to her, past her
and over to a dead wooden stump nearby.
"Ranma!" He exclaimed, catching his breath. "Did
you ask her for me?" The wooden stump didn't reply.
"Glasses, Mousse." She ordered in passable mandarin.
The boy whipped around as Ranma's voice came from a direction
he wasn't expecting and he promptly donned a pair of thick glasses. He blinked.
"Oh! Sorry about that Ranma!"
She stared at the boy in front of her with amusement. Normally
mistaking her for a tree trunk would have been grounds for a duel by anybody
else, but Mousse was one of the few exceptions she made to that rule because of
his 'handicap'. In fact, he was on of the few males she could stand among the
tribe, if only because that despite his bumbling, he was reasonable skilled. At
least he was trying to be a Man. That, and he has a serious crush on my
sister, Ranma chuckled inwardly. He would ask her out, get shot down, rinse,
repeat. It was an endlessly amusing process.
"Did you ask her, Ranma?" Mousse had learned early
that Ranma was a direct conduit to Shampoo's ear and was always seeking the
redhead's favor in his quest. Now she held his ego in her hands. Ah, what do…?
"She said she'll think about it."
Mousse took her hand and shook it profusely before running off
in ignorant bliss. Ignorant because Shampoo had said no such thing. Her words
had been closer to 'Not a chance in hell' if she remembered correctly.
Honestly, I shouldn't lead the boy on like that, she thought wistfully, and
continued to walk through the village and back to her hut.
She stopped at the door, hearing a soft crying from within.
Ranma stepped in and found her purple haired sister sobbing at the table, face
buried in her arms. She looked up to see who the intruder was, finding Ranma.
Positively identified, she got up and flug herself around the redhead, crying
into her shoulder.
"Wha-What's wrong, Sis?" Ranma flashed with concern
and wrapped her arms around the trembling Amazon.
"Stu-Stupid Grandmother!" She looked up, anger
burning through her teary eyes.
Now Ranma was very concerned. Shampoo hardly ever went off on
their grandmother and never without good reason. She had learned that the woman
could be tricky and devious, and Ranma had seen that trait hurt those around
her before, both intentionally and unintentionally.
"She took me to Jyusenkyou to train!" Shampoo
had now disengaged from their embrace and her anger was climbing higher.
"You've got to be kidding…" Ranma breathed in
disbelief. Why couldn't these people just dig their own stupid bamboo
playground to train on!
Shampoo nodded, "Grandmother got too aggressive and…"
"…Knocked you in." Ranma shook her head. How could
she be that careless with her own grand daughter?
Shampoo sat back down at the table and thumped it with a hard
fist. "Maybe she just wanted both her daughters cursed." She said
with angry spite. "Maybe we cab throw Tic and Tac in next!"
Ranma pulled out a chair and sat down next to her. "God,
and I thought my old man was the only one with a monopoly on stupidity of that
magnitude." She wrapped an arm around her sister, having long since been
immune to the embarrassment of close personal contact with her, especially as a
girl. Especially this girl. "Don't worry. It's not the end of the world… I
should know." Ranma winked.
Shampoo's mood broke with the encouragement and suddenly she
smiled. Ranma had always marveled at how quickly her moods were prone to
change. "I have an idea!" She ran over to the heating kettle and
poured out one glass of hot water and drew some cold water from a bucket. She
set them on the table with a mischievous grin. "I'll show you mine if you
show me yours!"
Ranma frowned. "I'm not sure that's such a good--"
Ranma never got to finish as Shampoo dumped a glass of cold
water on her person. Ranma's eyes went wide and she froze.
"AAAAAHHHHAaaaaaARRRAAAHH!"
The first clue that Cologne knew something had gone wrong was
the desperate high pitched scream from across the village. The next came
shortly thereafter and she thought she heard the enraged howl of a cat. Her
self-loathing over the day's events broken temporarily, she hopped out the door
and pogo'd across the village to find…
…A warzone. The place that had once been Shampoo and Ranma's hut was no
more. In its place remained shredded debris as dust and bits of wood floated
away with the wind. The rest of the tribe had gathered now, weapons out,
marveling at the degree of the devastation. What enemy had done such a thing?
The final cloud of dust cleared and in the middle of the gutted hut sat one
little pink and purple kitten completely unharmed. Cologne barked an order to a
nearby warrior and she promptly retrieved a glass of hot water and towl for the
Elder. The elder hopped over to the waiting kitten and dumped hot water on it,
producing a nude, purple haired Chinese girl who took the towl she was offered to
cover herself.
"Quickly child, what happened?" Cologne urged.
"Ra- Ranma went insane!" Shampoo reported, as if
unable to believe it herself. "I.. I showed her my cursed self and she
screamed, then changed…"
"Changed into what?" The alarmed elder prompted. She
scanned the wreckage for any sign of the redhead but found none.
"A… A cat!" Shampoo stated, still in
disbelief. "It was the body of Ranma, but she was a cat inside! I didn't
mean to scare her!" Shampoo was on the verge of crying for her sister.
Cologne examined the wreckage, noting the clean slices through
even the thick stumps that supported their hut. "You did not do this,
grandchild. Something far more sinister is responsible." She looked at
Shampoo now. "Your form may have been the catalyst, but this is the work
of the Neko-ken."
"Cat fist?"
"Indeed." The elder responded. "It is a High
Art, exceedingly hard to master and even harder to defeat. It is, however, a
rare form for one reason and one reason only," Shampoo looked at her with
plaintiff eyes so that she could know why her sister had gone berserk.
"Those that survive the training are invariably driven insane."
"But Ranma is sane!" Then Shampoo began looking at
the structure that was once their hut. "…Or was."
Cologne nodded thoughtfully. "The fact that she survived
the training is a miracle in and of itself, but the fact that she is still
sane…" She looked at the ruin. On average, she added mentally, "is
quite impressive."
She turned to the Amazons that had gathered. "Fan out. If
you find Saotome, do not challenge her unless you feel it necessary to
lose your life this day. She is not in control and will likely kill any she
perceives as a threat. Report her position back to me. Go."
The warriors disappeared into the rainforest, and Cologne was
left alone with her thoughts. So the redhead holds two secrets. I was wise to
bind her to the tribe but this… This was totally unexpected. How much
potential does Ranma Saotome hold? Any woman that can be trained in the
Neko-ken, survive and remain as sane as she has thus far is exceptional stock.
She must be found at any and all costs.
Enough was enough, Genma decided, packing up and
heading out of the village with a lot on his mind. He was as eager for his son
to learn new techniques as the next person, but the effects it was having on
him… And having to remain a girl almost one hundred percent of the time… And in
the care of those Amazons. Yes, he had come to a decisive conclusion-- Manhood
first, techniques second. Besides, if Do-chan ever found out… Genma Saotome
shivered at the visage of his wife angrily wielding the family honor blade.
He never was able to get an exact location of the village out
of the boy, but he knew the general direction as he hiked along the hillside.
He would use their original campsite as a baseline and work his way outward
from there. It couldn't be more than a half a day in one direction of the
other. Once the village was-
"RRrrrrEERRROOOOWWWW!"
Genma froze as the sound echoed throughout the hills. He knew
that sound because it was ingrained into his very soul. The father slowly
turned around to find Ranma Saotome perched on a high tree branch staring down
at him with feral eyes. Her body was arched and poised to strike. Stupid
Amazons showed the boy a cat! Genma realized. His brain raced. Ranma was a
handful when he learned the technique at five, let alone now!
Genma snatched a leafy branch from a nearby bush and began to
waggle it back and forth. "Heeerrree kitty-kitty-kitty!"
Neko-Ranma's eye shifted from their narrow slits to wide-eyed curiosity as she
tracked the branch. "Oooh yess! Come and git it kitty!" The
father's other hand slowly grasped the steel pan in his pack. Thoroughly
intrigued, the cat-girl jumped down from her fifteen-foot high perch and
pounced onto the branch with a smile. Genma smiled too.
"THWaaNG!"
Genma Saotome considered his unconscious son, who was now
growing a huge knot on the back of his head. The father shook his own head and
sighed, dragging her by the ponytail down a dirt path.
"Come on, Boy, let's get you away from those
Amazons."
Author's notes:
Kiss of Death: The original series has little to say on the
matter beyond those who receive the kiss of death must die to restore an
Amazon's honor. By itself, this would seem to be an exceptionally stupid rule,
even for some backwater tribe in China, so I actually gave them a reason why
they were forced into such extreme measures to restore their honor. Sure,
there's no basis for it in the series, but it's a dang sight better than 'just
because' in my opinion.
Timeline: Ranma's stay with the Amazon's has set him back nearly
eight month, months they would have been spent being pursued by Shampoo in the
original series. With the Amazons, Ranma does not yet sport her trademark
pigtail since she hadn't encountered the guy with the dragon whisker, but will
(by some bizarre space-time freak of nature known as my keyboard) when Ranma
and Genma finally move on. Likewise, she is far more skilled by the time she
arrives at the Tendo Dojo than in the original timeline because the trip to
China actually amounted to something other than a quick dip in the cursed
springs.
Dialogue: I hate it when fanfics simply text-dump the manga dialogue
into a story as just a series of quotes with no supporting framework as to the
circumstances and conditions they're being spoken in. It's why I've tried so
hard to embellish the original script as much as possible so you're not simply
reading what would basically be a manga with no pictures.
Why Shampoo? I don't think she gets a lot of press (other
than the lemon sort) because she was so dang easy in the series. All Ranma
would have had to do was say 'ok' and it'd be all over. Not much of a story
there, so I'll try to carve one out of it.