The Prank That Wasn't A Ranma 1/2 FanFiction By Sinom Bre Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the property of Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, & Kitty (Japan) and Viz Video (USA). No compensation has been or will be received for the composition of this work - it is for free entertainment purposes only. Author's Quips: I am playing somewhat fast and loose with Ranma canon, here, so some events will be altered or out of sequence. This has been done to maximize the situational humor where applicable. There is a dramatic undercurrent that will expose itself as the work progresses. Enjoy. C&C very welcome. Post to FFML or privately to sinom_bre@yahoo.com. Flames incinerated. ____________________ Part 4 - Happi Minds, Happi Bodies ____________________ Sunday morning dawned bright and clear, a slight pre-dawn mist leaving a heavy dew and encrusting the vegetation and structures with sparkling gems. The Tendo home was quiet, a rarity since the Saotomes moved in. Saotome Genma had opted to not spar with his son since his son was currently his daughter and acting very much like one. Said daughter, Saotome Ranma, had been female for extended periods before, but she had always maintained male attitudes and behavior. It was no surprise, therefore, that Genma was thoroughly unnerved by recent developments. The selfsame Ranma was wearing one of those developments as she descended the stairs for breakfast. She put her petit hand over her mouth to cover a large and lengthy yawn. This allowed the embroidered green silk robe she wore to part and reveal the white silk nightie underneath. It was sheer and held the promise of undreamed of pleasures. Nabiki had braided her body-length tresses the night before into one long rope that now swung from side to side. Vaguely remembering a need for feminine modesty, she gathered and held the robe together with her hands. She entered the hall and proceeded to the tearoom. It was there that she froze. Sitting near the table and carefully ironing his collection of women's underwear was Master Happosai, the founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Ranma stood very still, although what she hoped to accomplish was uncertain. In the end, it didn't matter. The perverted old gnome looked up and saw Ranma. He jumped up onto the table. "Ranma, my bo..." Now he froze, and his eyes grew to twice their size. Neither moved. Akane had been quiet all morning; the events of the past day had shaken her to the core. She had always thought that she could handle Ranma's curse and she did care for him deeply, but this, THIS was something else entirely. Could she put up with it? Did she even WANT to put up with it? She shuddered and continued to assault a saucepan with Miso a la Akane. Once the soup was what she considered to be done, she poured the mixture into a serving bowl. She didn't notice the fizzing or that the liquid was defying gravity by oozing up the sides of the bowl. She picked up her contribution and left the kitchen. She walked into the tearoom and almost ran into someone standing in the way. "RANMA! MOVE IT!" No response and no movement. Akane was taken aback; insults were usually flying by now. She walked around him and saw him staring at the table. She looked and saw two large and growing eyeballs on a shrinking body. She turned back to her fiance and suddenly noticed what she was wearing. Her best friend in life, anger, rose up to smother her in a warm embrace. "YOU... YOU PERVERT!!!" Akane would have malleted her if her hands hadn't been full of the something she had worked so hard on. Ranma still didn't respond to her but brought her fists up into the ready position. Unfortunately, the robe fell open again, and the white nightie shone forth. Genma and Soun chose that moment to enter from the dojo, but they stopped when they saw the two giant eyeballs on the table, rocking with a nauseating squelch. A breeze wafted through the room lifting Ranma's robe and flattening the nightie against her body. Happosai snapped back to himself and dashed out of the room and into the dojo. Everyone looked at one another for a moment, but Akane summed it up. "Well, that was different." Genma scowled at his daughter. "Boy, what ARE you wearing!?" "None of YOUR business, so shut it, old man!" She finally decided to tie the robe off and hurried to the dojo. Everyone else quickly followed. Nabiki came in, saw them leaving, and decided to tag along. she thought. Ranma passed through the open dojo door and looked around. Happosai was kneeling before the Tendo family shrine, clapping and bowing repeatedly. Ranma and his entourage gathered around the withered old man and stared at the warm glow that surrounded him. "Jiji, what's going on!" Happosai jumped to his feet, startling everyone. Ranma set himself to repel a grope, but Happi just stood there and beamed, wisps of chi carried off by the slight breeze. Ranma cautiously lowered his arms. "Jiji?" "Ranma, my boy! Top o' the morning to ya'!" The group blink-blinked. "Uh, Jiji? Aren't you, ah, going to go for, er, a grope? Try to steal my underwear?" Everyone leaned forward, anticipating the answer to Ranma's either brave or foolish question. "Nothing of the sort!" A mass desertion of balance brought everyone to the horizontal in a group face-fault. "WHAT!?" Ranma swung her body to a sitting position. "Don't need to! Just SEEING you in that outfit gave me one helluva charge." Those that'd made some progress to the vertical reclaimed the horizontal. "I feel a hundred years younger. I'm just bursting with energy!" Happi strode over to his two students, who began to grovel - not a reach since they were already on the ground. "Boys, get your gear together. We're hittin' the road!" "What?" Genma sputtered. "But Ranma! He... er, she... I mean..." "Never you mind about my boy, Ranma. He's NEVER looked better! Now, be ready in four hours, or... YOU'LL REGRET IT THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!" Happi shouted at the two 'men'. Soun managed to talk through the waves of tears washing over his face. "Since the Master is feeling so fit, *SOB* does... does this mean we won't be going on panty raids?" "BWAHAHAHAHA! This means I expect you to liberate twice, no, THREE times as many of my precious darlings! There'll be no rest for you louts. BWA-, BWA-, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Happosai strolled out of the dojo singing, and Genma and Soun did their best to bow, grovel, plead, and walk at the same time. "She's too hot to trot, now baaay-beee..." The singing, sobbing, and begging faded away as the trio entered the house.