A Kasumi based story. Enjoy.

dont own the characters portrayed here, they are the creations of Rumiko Takahashi and co. No money is being made by this facfic and it is avaliable to anyone.

With that out of the way, role intro, set music to "Not meant for me by Jonathan Davis.", activate hyper-drive, set dimensional coordinates to humor and...

In loving memory of the number 2, may it rest in peace.

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SOLVING THE PROBLEM

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Kasumi sat in the living room silently watching the t.v. she had completed her daily chores swiftly and usually took this time when no one was home to think about how much she really wanted something to happen to her instead of Akane, just one kidnapping thats all she asked for was it to much to as... a large brown sack covered her and she was lifted off the ground. She could feel the wind rushing around her and realized she WAS being kidnapped FINALLY her prayers were answered, as they ran Kasumi could hear her kidnappers talking to one another, "Hey Mint!" one said, "Yeah Lime?" The one known as Mint responded. "Isn't this just like 'Kasumi gets Kidnapped by Jack Staik." Lime asked as a large sack with a dollar sign on it is handed to him. "Yeah so?" Mint responded.

Back in Herbs palace he paitently waited for his idiot minions to return from thier 'impossible to screw up mission' they knew what Akane looked like there was no way in hell they'd screw it up. Herb continued to wait as he began to think, "Maybe I'll make this a lemon and go touch myself in girl form while looking into a mirror." Before Herb could make this a lemon Mint and Lime returned gently placed their stolen package before thier master, "Lord Herb. We present to you Akane Tendou!" The threw off the sack. "They screwed it up." Herb said as he almost began crying, "How the hell can they have screwed it up, is this why the Musk Dynasty crumbles? Is this what I must deal with for the rest of my long life? Tune in next week to find out."

Kasumi got a good look at her kidnappers ohhh... their leader was so handsom but he was sad and if there was one thing Kasumi hated to see it was a sad person, time to cheer him up. "Excuse me a moment." Herb turned to face her, "I'm so terrible sorry Kasumi, I've read enough Fanfic's to know your always kind and nice and really do not deserve this sort of thing, I also know that the writer of this fic just loves you and thinks your the best canidate for Ranma and he is currently writing a fanfic about that to called 'For whom I once was.'" A hand from nowhere hands Herb a large sack with a dollar sign on it, "It pays to do promotions. But enough about that I am personally going to bring you home."

Kasumi smiled her trademark smile, "But Mr. Herb, please tell me why you are sad, I would love to help." Herb's face began to drop again, "These two idiots." He said pointing at Mint and Lime who groveled. "They screw up everything. I can't even kidnap someone without them screwing it up, how am I supposed to be a serious bad guy with these two always making me look bad." Kasumi thought for a moment, "I know I have a plan, a plan that will help you solve your problems." Herb perked up immediatly, "Really?!" Kasumi nodded and the two walked off to the side, "Here's what you do, first get rid of those two, then... <whisper>... <whisper>... <whisper>..." Herb's eye's widened "Of course, why didn't I think of it before! But Kasumi how do I get rid of those two, they always come back I tried to leave them all over the world BUT they always come back."

Kasumi tilted her head to the side for a moment completely lost in thought, "Let me handle this, I didn't want to dirty my pride as a peaceful, kindhearted, loving character but I may have to use..." Reaching into her dress she pulled out.

"My COLT 45."

BANG BANG

Both Mint and Lime fell dead and Kasumi shot them both.

Herb stood still, jaw dropped to the ground, "Holy Shit." he finally managed. "A girls gotta protect herself now a day's."

A day later...

"Wow, that was so easy, teaming up with Saffron to take out the Amazon's and use them as slaves, I'd never have thought it possible, how'd you get him to join us anyways?" Herb asked as three Amazons tended to his 'every' need. Kasumi gave a sly smirk, "Wouldn't you like to know." Herb just gave her a confused look, "Anyways now to get you home..." "Don't worry I know the writer he'll just write me home." With that Kasumi vanished and reappeared in her kitchen because I said so and since I'm the one writing this it stands.

"Ah home, sweet home."

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Aurthor's Rants

Heh, took me thirty minutes to write this, yeah I know it the begining is just like Kasumi gets kidnapped and I won't deny the fact that it was that fanfiction that gave me the idea for this and the scene involvong the colt 45 was from DBZ but hey I thought it was funny.

This story isn't bashing anyone, I think the Amazon's are kool and in fact I think that Shampoo is second in the Ranma/love list. My list goes Kasumi, Shampoo, Ukyou in close with Shampoo, Nabiki, and last but certainly not least Kodachi. O.k. know those of you thinking "KODACHI ARE YOU NUTS!?!" to put it simply "Yes I am nuts." she's an awesome character. Keep in mind this is MY list not your everyone will see it differently, that comment is directed towards the Akane Loving crew since she isn't on my list I figured you'd flame me for sure.

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"Love fades, but hate last's forever."

-Ryanko-