Ryoga's Secret Slaughtered.. er, written by Kevin McHorney.

Ranma 1/2 and all characters are created by Rumiko Takahashi.
and just think about how boring it would be without her work.

     Ryoga looked left and right down the busy street before fixing
his eyes on the alley across the way.  "I can't let Ranma find me,"
he mumbled to himself.  Clasping his package to his body he tried
walking across the street, turned left somewhere in the middle and 
soon found himself surrounded by trees.
     He looked around in confusion, "Where did the alley go?"  He 
heard a growling behind him and spun around to face three wild dogs.
He carefully slid his package into a pocket and growled back at the
dogs.  "You won't stop me."  The two smaller dogs backed up slightly,
but the largest dog leapt for Ryoga's throat.  Ryoga dodged and threw
a spinning backhand into the dog's side.  The dog yelped and ran off
into the forest, the other two dogs following close behind.  "All 
right then, I'll go somewhere else."  He walked deeper into the 
forest and soon found himself in the middle of a playground.
     "Now where am I," he muttered to himself.  He herd a laugh and
saw four teenagers walking towards him.  All of them were dressed
in torn clothing, and most had dyed hair.
     "Well, look at what we have here," a boy with bright orange
and green hair said.
     "Don't you know it's dangerous to walk around here alone?"
a girly with frost blue hair and a nose ring said.
     "Dangerous?" Ryoga said in confusion as the group circled around
him.
     "Yeah," a second boy said as he pulled out a switchblade,
"you might get mugged or something."
     "Why don't you just be a good little boy and hand over your 
money now, and you won't get hurt," a hulking boy with a red mowhawk
said.
     Ryoga smiled slightly, while keeping an eye on the punk with the
knife, "what if I haven't got any money?"
     The big punk pounded his fist into his hand, "Then we have some
fun with you."
     The kid with the knife slashed at Ryoga's arm.  Ryoga  leaped
into the air and came down just behind the one with the knife.  He 
spun a kick into the side of the punks head, then let his momentum
carry him into a sweep kick.  He had to lean back to dodge a slow 
haymaker from the big punk.  Ryoga rolled backward and came up next
to the orange-haired punk.  He drove his elbow into the punk's 
stomach and continued the movement to slam his arm into the punk's
face. The orange-haired kid was knocked unconscious on his feet.  He
leaped back to avoid another blow from the big punk and watched
as the girl ran to pick up the switchblade.  Ryoga concentrated
on the ground and jabbed it with one finger.  The ground exploded
outward and the big punk reared back in surprise.  Ryoga lunged 
forward and slammed his fist into the punk's stomach.  The big punk
folded and lay still.  This girl looked from Ryoga to her friends
and back to Ryoga.  "Please," Ryoga said quietly, "I don't like 
fighting girls."
     The girl got dropped the knife and fled.  Ryoga sighed, "Well,
I can't open this here."  He looked around the park and saw a patch
of light woods.  He focused all of his attention on the woods and 
walked towards them.  He heard a car honk in the distance and looked
over at it.  When he looked back at his path he saw a ten story 
building in front of him.  Ryoga looked up at the building, sighed,
then started to climb up the outside.  
     "Finally, Ranma will never find me up here," Ryoga said as he 
climbed onto the building's roof.   Ryoga heard a strange whistling
sound in the distance.  He looked around the top of the building,
but didn't see anything.  He sat in the middle of the roof and looked
around one last time then slowly took out his package and tore open
the orange foil.  Then he was driven into the ground as a flying
Ranma landed on him.  Ranma shook his head and saw Ryoga's package.
He picked it up, took out a chocolate disk and popped it in his 
mouth.  After all, there is no wrong way to eat a Resses.