Conflict Among Destiny By Eathan Michaud Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Rumiko Takahashi owns them and hell would freeze over and the devil would do snow angels before I thought of claiming them as my own. Other character(s) are mine. It's been a year since He arrived. A year since He ruined my cousin's life. A year I spent learning His weaknesses. He has three fiancees, three rivals (as if you could call Kuno a rival), a psycho gymnast, and a hentai master of The Art after him. Only one rival seems to be at par with Him, the one I need to ally myself with. Even though I already learned the Shi Shi Hokodan and altered it so I can use it in anger, I still need allies to come on top. Maybe the blind amazon and the hentai could help also, if I train the amazon and if the hentai does not chase after panties. He will fall, He will never hurt my cousin again, He will know my wrath. Prepare to go through Hell, Saotome Ranma!! [The scene opens on the Tendo Dojo in the early morning. The koi pond looks refreshingly cool today. If one would listen one could hear a young man and a young woman arguing loudly. If one also lived in the area near the dojo, one would know the argument was near it's end.] Girl(off): RANMA NO BAKA!!! *WHAM!* A young man flies out of the house and into the koi pond, while flying by, we can see that he has black hair done in a pig-tail and blue eyes and is wearing a red chinese shirt and black baggy pants. A different figures emerges from the pond, it is a girl with red hair also done in a pig-tail. She also has blue eyes and is also wearing and red chinese shirt and black baggy pants. Guy Turned Girl: What'd ya do that for? A girl comes out of the house. She has black hair and brown eyes and is wearing a yellow dress and a pink frilly apron. Girl: If you didn't keep insulting my cooking and ate it you wouldn't have been hit Ranma! Ranma-chan: But your cooking is toxic! Girl: Shut up! With this, the girl storms back into the house leaving Ranma-chan outside. Girl(to self): The jerk! If he didn't keep insulting me I wouldn't have to hit him! He can't even get that concept through his thick head! Hmph! The girl walks into the living room as an older girl is returning from the door. Older Girl(smiling): Akane, guess who's coming to visit! Akane: Who Kasumi? Kasumi: Our cousin, Keidanko. Akane: Oh, I haven't seen him for a long time. It'd be nice to see him again! Kasumi: Yes, it would be nice to see him again! Oh! I have to tell father and Nabiki. Akane: Okay! I have to practice in the dojo, call me if you need me. [Scene changes to Nekohanten.] A young man is sweeping outside the restaurant. He has long black hair and grey eyes. He is wearing a white robe with blue pants underneath. He has a pair of glasses on. Man(to self): Stupid old bat! Always making me do this stuff! Oh, Shampoo why can't you see that I'm the man for you? Someone appears out of the shadows. This man has brown hair tied into a pig-tail and brown eyes. He wears a white tee-shirt with an opened button up tropical tee-shirt over it and blue baggy pants. Man: That's because she's bound to Saotome due to the Amazon Law. Mousse(surprised): Who're you? Man: For now, a friend with a common problem. Mousse: You have bad eye sight? The man facefaults. Man: No! Saotome! He's the problem! If we get him out of the way our problems are remedied! Mousse: I agree, but I've fought Saotome before and I lost miserably. Man: Then I shall train you. Mousse: Oh arigato... what is your name? Man(grinning evil grin): Keidanko. [Scene shifts back to the Tendo Dojo, inside the dining room] Ranma, Akane, Kasumi, two older men, and another girl are sitting at the table. One of the men has black eyes and wears a white bandanna over his head to hide his baldness. He is wearing a off white gi. The other has black eyes also, but he has long black hair and a mustache. He wears a dark grey gi. The other girl has short brown hair and brown eyes. She is wearing a green tee-shirt and blue jeans. Ranma: So... what's this Keidanko guy like? Akane: Well for one thing he's more mature than you. Mustache Man: He also trained in Anything Goes. Girl: Is there anything else we know about him? Mustache Man: He's about your age, Nabiki, and he is quite strong for someone who's been training in the art for his life. Bandanna Man: So Tendo, do you think he's better than Ranma? Ranma: Ha! No one's better than me! Akane: Shut up, Ranma. Kasumi, when is Keidanko arriving? Kasumi: In his letter he said he would be here this evening with Auntie Hekaru. Akane: Before you didn't say Auntie was coming. Kasumi: Oh, I didn't? I'm sorry. Soun: We should set up a welcoming party. Akane: That sounds good. Bandanna Man: Followed by a wedding! Ranma: Forget it Oyaji, I ain't marryin' that kawaiikune tomboy! Akane: Ranma no baka. Akane, not angry enough to summon the mallet of doom, elbows Ranma in the ribs. Ranma: Why'd ya do that? Akane: I couldn't find my mallet. [The scene shifts to an uninhabited forest.] A young man is wandering around. He has black hair and green eyes. He is wearing a yellow tunis and black pants with a yellow and black spots in his hair. He has a large backpack and a red umbrella latched on it. Man: WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW??? Keidanko walks out from behind one of the trees. Keidanko: You're just outside Nerima. Man: Who're you? Keidanko: Someone with a problem similar to yours Hibiki. Ryoga: You have a Jusenkyo curse and are the pet of the woman you love? Keidanko facefaults. Keidanko: No! My problem is Saotome Ranma! Ryoga: You want me to help you beat him? Keidanko: Yes! Ryoga: Alright! Let's go! Ryoga runs off in the wrong direction. Keidanko: I'm starting to think this plan may not work... well only two more allies left to recruit. Saotome Ranma, you shall see hell! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! With this said, Keidanko runs after Ryoga. [The scene is now a random street in Nerima.] A two foot tall old man is running away from a large mob of seriously pissed off women. He is bald with two patches of white hair on each side of his head and black beady eyes. He wears a purple gi. Old Man: What a haul! Several women(off): Get back here you hentai!!!! Old Man: Time to take to the roofs! The old man jumps on a nearby roof as the mob of women run past. Old Man: Heh! No one can beat Happosai, The true master of Anything Goes! Keidanko joins Happosai on the roof. Keidanko: So, you're Happosai? Happosai: What's it to you? Keidanko: I was looking for the master of Anything Goes. Happosai: You found him. What do you want? Keidanko: I am Keidanko, and I need help humbling Saotome Ranma. Happosai: That, I can help you with. Keidanko: Good, Happosai-sensei. I am going to meet you and our other allies at Furinken High School at ten PM Thursday. Happosai: Allies? Keidanko: Hai, Saotome has defeated each of you on your own. United, he shall fall! Happosai: Good plan. Well, see you later. Happosai jumps off in the direction of the dojo. Keidanko: Sayonara, now all I need is the idiot kendoist. Keidanko heads off to the Kuno Mansion. [The Kuno Mansion, just outside a room] A short ninja is walking through the halls. He has squinty little eyes and his hair is covered by a purple bandanna. He wears a black ninja gi. Ninja: I wonder what plan Master Kuno will use to get the pig-tailed girl tonight. Out of the shadows comes Keidanko. Keidanko: Tell me where Kuno Tatewaki's room is. Ninja(slightly surprised): You will have to beat it out of me first. Keidanko: Alright then.... Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba!! An orb of fire slams into the ninja, knocking him out. A young man bursts into the hallway. Man: Who dares disturb the Blue Thunder of Furinken High? Keidanko(slightly digusted): I do. Man: Have at thee, knave! The man slashes at Keidanko and Keidanko parries with his own bokken. Keidanko(to self): I'm gonna have to use his language.(aloud) I wish to aid thee, O great Kuno. Kuno: Aid me in what? Keidanko: Smiting the curr, Saotome Ranma of course. Kuno: I need no help smiting him, now be gone! Keidanko(to self): I tried.(aloud) Fenikkusu Tada Hisho!! Keidanko slashes with his bokken and releases an energy wave that hits Kuno dead on. Kuno: The gods hath failed me this battle, but I, Kuno Tatewaki, shall smite thee some other time. With this, Kuno passes out. Keidanko: Oh well, I guess everyone doesn't want my help. Keidanko leaves to go to the Nekohanten. [Inside the Nekohanten] An old woman is talking to Keidanko, who is seated at a booth. She has long white hair and beady black eyes. She wears a green robe and is balancing on a staff. Old Woman: Mousse, come over here. Mousse walks over. Mousse: What? Old Woman: This, person, wishes to talk to you. Mousse: Oh. Mousse walks over to Keidanko Mousse: Hello again. Keidanko: Good day, Mousse. So that's Cologne? Mousse: Yeah, so what do you need? Keidanko: I was busy today recruiting allies. Mousse: So who did you get? Keidanko: Hibiki Ryoga and Happosai. I tried to get Kuno Tatewaki to join, but he is an idiot. Mousse: I would've warned you if I knew you were going after Kuno. Keidanko: Oh well, we don't need him badly, it's just he would made getting Saotome easier. Mousse: How? He's not a good fighter. Keidanko: Don't I know it. He could've occupied Saotome during the fight, Especially if he turned into the 'pig-tailed girl'. Mousse: Hmmm, you have a point. Keidanko: Nonetheless, we have enough help to defeat Saotome. Thursday at 10 PM, meet us at Furinken. Mousse: Okay. I have to get back to work before the old bat gives me more work. With that, Cologne tosses several dishes of ramen at Mousse's head, they all connect. Mousse(muttering): Dried up old mummy.(louder) See you later Keidanko. Keidanko: Sayonara Mousse. Keidanko then got up and left the Nekohanten, and Mousse got back to work. [A few blocks from the dojo.] Keidanko and his mother, a woman with blond hair wearing a green sundress and is about a head shorter than Keidanko, can be seen walking toward the dojo. The sky looks as if it's going to rain. Keidanko: So mom, why are we stoppin' by Uncle Soun's place? Hekaru: I was going to ask him if he'd house us for a few days. Keidanko(to self): Great, now I get clear shots at Ranma, maybe I'll 'spar' with him, heh heh. The rain starts. Then we see Keidanko change into a girl. She has green hair and is about the same size as her mother. Keidanko-chan: Damn! Why'd I get stuck with this stupid curse? Hekaru(teasing voice): Now Keidanko, that's not how a lady acts. Keidanko-chan(in english): Ha ha, she can laugh 'cause she ain't got no curse. Hekaru(in english): I guess you forgot I spoke english also. Keidanko-chan: What language do I know that you don't? Hekaru(smug look): None. The two travelers reach the dojo just as the rain stops. Keidanko-chan: Grrrr, the stupid rain stops when we get here?!? Hekaru: Ironic, isn't it? Keidanko-chan: Grrr... Hekaru then knocks on the door, which opens revealing Kasumi. Kasumi: Oh Auntie! So glad to see you! Hekaru(smiling): Glad to see you too, Kasumi! Keidanko-chan: Hey. The guests are brought into the house and Soun then gets up. Soun: Hekaru! It's good to see you again! Hekaru: Same here, Soun. The Tendos and Saotomes notice that with Hekaru is a girl, not a guy. Akane(to self): This seems familiar... Nabiki: So where's Keidanko? Hekaru: Hmm? Oh he's right behind me. Keidanko-chan: Hey. Ranma gets up Ranma: Jusenkyo? Keidanko-chan: How'd you guess? Akane proceeds to splash Ranma with her water Ranma-chan: What'd you do that for? Akane: He asked how'd you know. Ranma-chan: Kawaiikune tomboy. Akane: Hentai baka. Ranma-chan: At least I can cook!*WHAM* Akane then peels the mallet of doom off Ranma's face. Keidanko suppresses a chuckle. Kasumi leaves, then returns with hot water for Ranma and Keidanko. Keidanko(splashing self): Arigato. Ranma(also splashing self): Yeah, arigato Kasumi. Hekaru: So Keidanko, Which of your cousins do you want to marry? Everyone(save Soun): NANI??!!?? Hekaru(sweatdrop appears behind head): Just kidding, geez. Keidanko: Now that everyone has had a simultaneous heart attack, Ranma you wanna spar? Ranma: Sure! Everyone the proceeds to the dojo, where Ranma and Keidanko are facing each other on opposite sides of the dojo. Keidanko: Okay, here's the rules. Fight's over when one of us is rendered unconscious. Ki blasts can be used. Ranma(confident grin): Sure. Keidanko: Begin. With this, Ranma began collecting his ki. Ranma: Moko Takabisha!! The ki blast of confidence slammed into Keidanko and knocked him onto the floor. Keidanko: Not bad. Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba!! The fiery ki blast of anger slammed right into Ranma. Ranma(to self): Man! This guy's good!(aloud) Hiryu Shoten Ha!!! The powerful dragon-like winds lift Keidanko of the ground and he slams into the side of the dojo. Keidanko: Ite. You're good, Ranma. Ranma: The best. Keidanko: Try this! Fenikkusu Tada Hisho!! Keidanko slashes with the bokken and launches an energy wave at Ranma. Ranma dodges at the last minute. Ranma: Geesh! What was that? Keidanko: A ki attack I learned a while ago. Ranma: Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken! Ranma punches Keidanko several times at a very high speed. Keidanko(to self): Hmmm. Lemme try that.(aloud) Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken altered! Flowing Blades! Keidanko slashes at Ranma the same speed he was punching. Ranma: The hell? How'd you do that? Keidanko: I learn and alter attacks quickly if they're useful to me. Ranma: Moko Takabisha! Keidanko: Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba! The two attacks slam into each other and a large explosion occurs. Ranma and Keidanko are knocked out. Nabiki: Well that was interesting. Akane: Great! Someone else who's better than me's in town! Nabiki: Get used to it, Akane. Akane: Grrr. Hekaru: Well, there is someone as good as my son. Genma: I was about to say the same thing. Hekaru and Genma then drag their sons into the house. [Scene opens outside of Furinken. It is dark out. Mousse and Happosai are waiting for Keidanko.] Mousse: What's taking him so long. Happosai: Don't know. Keidanko enters with Ryoga in tow. Keidanko: Sorry we're late. You know Ryoga, you're very difficult to find. Ryoga: Gomen. Mousse: Anyway, shall we start the planning? Keidanko: First I want to get to know how you all hate Ranma. Each of the people tell their story on how Ranma wronged them. Mousse: What about you? What'd he do to you? Keidanko: Not what he did to me, what he does to my cousin. Ryoga: Cousin? Keidanko: Akane. Mousse: Akane's your cousin? Keidanko: Yeah, he's treats her like she's less than trash. Well, I've got perfect shots at him since I'm stayin' at the Tendo Dojo. Happosai: So, why don't you take him out yourself? Keidanko: I tried, he's just as good as me. Each time we fight, it ends in a draw.I've got a plan on how we can all get into the house. Mousse: How? Keidanko: Ryoga'll get in as P-chan, Happosai'll get in easily since his students fear him, you, Mousse will have to act as my pet. Mousse: Nani? Happosai: It's a good plan. Ryoga: I agree. Mousse: A problem though, Ranma knows what my cursed form looks like. Keidanko: Then we'll give it a makeover. Mousse: I have a bad feeling about this. Keidanko: Pipe down Mousse and think of a name. Mousse: Grrrr. [The living room of the Tendo Dojo] Genma: So boy, what are you doing today? Ranma: I was gonna spar with Keidanko. Soun: Son, why don't you take Akane out? Ranma: I ain't taking that tomboy out! Genma: Be kind to your fiancee boy! She won't be there forever. Soun: Yes, show her a good time! Ranma: Alright! Geez, but it'll probably end like all the others. With Shampoo, Ukyo, or Kodachi showin' up an' ruinin' things. Soun: Just make sure Akane has a good time! Ranma: Alright. Ranma leaves up the stairs, Keidanko enters with P-chan and Mousse in his cursed form, only Mousse's feathers are brown. Akane enters from upstairs. Akane(noticing P-chan): Oh, P-chan! I've missed you! P-chan(happy): Bwee! Keidanko: Oh. It's your pig? I was gonna ask Uncle Soun if I could keep it here. Akane: What about the duck? Keidanko: Oh, it hurt its wing so I'm gonna take care of it. Akane: That's so sweet! Did you give it a name? Keidanko: Nope. How about you give it one? Mousse-duck(angry): Quack! Akane: Hmmm... how about Du-chan? Keidanko: I don't think that's a good name. Mousse looks relieved. Akane: How about Mr. Quackers? Keidanko: Hmmm... Mousse-duck: Quack! Keidanko: I don't think it likes that name. Akane: Let's ask Ranma then. Ranma!! Get down here!! Ranma runs down the stairs. Ranma: I didn't do nuthin'! Akane: Baka. We need help naming the duck Keidanko found. Ranma: You called me for that? Mousse-duck: Quack. Keidanko: Well, Akane's names aren't the greatest things in the world. P-chan bites Keidanko. Keidanko: Hey! Watch it porkchop! Akane: P-chan! Don't bite people. Ranma: You know, there are procedures to make animals less aggressive. P-chan looks pale. Keidanko: Let's just figure out a name for the duck! Ranma, Akane, and Keidanko think for a while. Ranma: How about Bob? Keidanko: Bob? Akane: Ranma no baka. Ranma: What? Keidanko: Bob is not a duck name. Ranma: What is a duck name? Keidanko: Don't know. Never had one as a pet. Akane: Anyway, how do we know it's a guy duck? It might be a girl duck. Mousse-duck(angry): Quack! Keidanko: Akane, I think you insulted it. Ranma: How can you insult a duck? Keidanko: I don't know! I just think it sounded insulted that's all! Akane: How about Oscar? Keidanko: That's just as bad as Bob. Akane: How? Keidanko: It just is. Akane: Grrr. Ranma: Let's just call it Duck. Keidanko: Good idea. Duck: Quack. Keidanko: Good, Duck agrees. Akane: When did you learn to speak duck? Keidanko: The same time you learned the Bakaken. Ranma: Bakaken? Akane: Keidanko no baka. Keidanko: So, it gets to you, eh? Ranma: What's the Bakaken? Keidanko: Just something I made up yesterday after Akane's demonstration of it against you. Ranma: Oh, the mallet. Akane: Okay, now that the duck is named, how about I make dinner? Ranma(nervous): Nah, I was gonna take you out tonight. Akane(happy): Really? Ranma: Yeah, before I wasn't sure, but now I want to protect everyone from your cooking. Akane(angry): RANMA NO BAKA!!! *WHAM!!* Akane then peels the mallet off of Ranma's head. Keidanko: The Bakaken strikes again! [Scene changes to the room Ranma, Genma, and Keidanko are sharing.] Keidanko: So, Ranma. Where are you takin' Akane? Ranma: To that new restaurant near the Nekohanten, Le Pomme de Terra. Keidanko: The Potato? Ranma: Potato!? Keidanko: Yeah, pomme de terra is french for potato. Ranma: Oh man! Akane'll kill me if she figures out the name of the restaurant. Keidanko: Just tell her you don't speak or read french. Ranma: Alright. Ranma leaves the room. Keidanko: Ha ha ha! You hear that, Duck? He's takin' her to the potato! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Duck does a duckish chuckle. Keidanko: Well, Ryoga and you are in. Now all's we need is Happosai. Duck nods. Keidanko leaves to talk to Akane. [Akane's room] There's a knock at the door. Akane: Come in. Keidanko enters with Duck. Keidanko: Hey Akane. Akane: Need something? Keidanko: I was gonna ask if you want me to watch P-chan while you and Ranma are out. Akane: Okay! P-chan looks somewhat happy. Akane: I guess P-chan likes you a little. Keidanko: Oh really? Duck: Quack. Akane: Oh Duck! Is your wing feeling better? Duck shakes his head. Akane: Oh wow! now there are two animals smarter than Ranma in the house! Keidanko: Heh. You two don't get along well, do you? Akane: Ranma is always such a jerk! He has Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi all after him! Keidanko winces at the mention of Kodachi. Keidanko: I don't think Ranma likes Kodachi. Akane: I don't either, but she's still another girl after him. Keidanko: I guess you're right. Akane: And he's always picking on Ryoga and P-chan! And Kuno's after his girl side! Keidanko: I'm glad Kuno didn't meet my girl side yet. Akane: Yeah, then he'd be after me, you, and Ranma. Keidanko: Yeah. Ranma(off): Akane! We're gonna be late! Akane: Okay! Well Keidanko, I have to go now. P-chan be good. You too Duck. P-chan: Bwee! Duck: Quack. Keidanko: Don't worry. They'll be good. Akane: Sayonara! Akane leaves her room. Keidanko(to self): She seems happy with Ranma.(aloud) You guys wanna be human? P-chan and Duck both nod. Keidanko: Okay. Let's go. Keidanko takes both Duck and P-chan out of Akane's room. [The dojo] Mousse: Duck?!? Ryoga: Ha ha ha! That's worse than P-chan! Mousse: Shut up! Keidanko: Geez, calm down you two. All we need now is for Happosai to get in the house and we have our entire team. Mousse: Assuming Ryoga doesn't get lost. Ryoga: Hey! Keidanko: Actually, that is a problem. I guess we'll have to get P-chan a leash and collar. Ryoga: I ain't wearing a collar again! Keidanko: Well, your bandana can be the collar, but you need a leash. Ryoga: Grrrr. Mousse: You know, we can create a sneak attack while they're gone. Keidanko: I'll need a disguise. Ryoga: Why? Keidanko: In case if the attack doesn't work. Ryoga: Oh. Mousse: Let's get it ready. [Ranma's room.] Keidanko: Good thing panda man sleeps heavily. Keidanko is wearing all black and a black face mask. Ryoga: Is all that black really needed? Keidanko: Hai. Ranma won't recognize me with it on. Mousse: Shhhh. They're back. Ranma(off): 'Night Akane. Akane(off): Good night Ranma. Ryoga(to self): At least they didn't kiss. Ranma opens the door to his room. Ranma: I wonder why pops was sleepin' outside. Mousse, Ryoga, and Keidanko all jump out. Ryoga: Ranma, prepare to die! Ranma: The hell? Ryoga: Shi Shi Hokodan!! Ranma gets hit with the blast of depression. Ranma then gets caught up in Mousse's chains. Mousse: Saotome, I shall get rid of you so Shampoo'll realize that I'm the one for her. Keidanko(gruff voice): Looks like you didn't need me. Ranma: Who the hell are you? Keidanko: You worst nightmare given physical form. Ranma: Oh. Keidanko: That's all you have to say, 'oh'? Ranma: That's not really scary. Ryoga: I agree. Keidanko: Oh, shut up. I'm here to dispose of you, Saotome. Ranma: I can see why Ryoga and Mousse want to kill me, but who are you and why do you want to kill me? Keidanko: You constantly hurt a person I care for. Ranma: Kuno? Keidanko: NANI? No, you moron! I dislike Kuno as much as you. Ranma: Kodachi? Keidanko winces. Keidanko: No! Now shut up! Keidanko slams his fist into Ranma's gut. Ranma: Oof! Keidanko: Now prepare to DIE! Ryoga: We're really gonna do it? Keidanko: YES! Mousse: Ummm... I don't know if that's a good idea. Keidanko: Why? Ryoga: 'Cause Akane's right behind you. Keidanko looks behind him and sees an angry Akane. Keidanko: People, I suggest a strategic retreat. Mousse and Ryoga don't hear this because they already left. Akane(angry): Who. Are. You? Keidanko: Ummm.... oh! I'm Bob, nice to meet you! Akane: Okay, Bob. BOB NO BAKA!!!! Akane then slams her oversized mallet right into Keidanko, sending him into LEO. Ranma: Good form. Akane: Arigato Ranma. I have a lot of practice. Ranma: I know. [Nekohanten] Mousse: I wonder how Keidanko did. Ryoga: Don't know. Keidanko then lands in front of them. Mousse: Speak of the devil. Ryoga: You okay? Keidanko: Don't know. You get hit by a large mallet and see how you feel. Ryoga: No thanks. Seeing it hurts enough. Mousse: Oh well, our first plan failed. Keidanko: Very observant Mousse. You get a cookie. Ryoga: What do we do now? Mousse: Let's see if Happosai can come up with a better plan. Keidanko: I have a feeling it will have something to do with panties. Ryoga: Why do you think that? Keidanko: Don't know, a gut feeling? Mousse: Well, see you guys tomorrow. Keidanko: Where are you going, Duck? Mousse: Grrrrr. Ryoga chuckles Keidanko: You to, P-chan. Ryoga: Grrrr. [The Tendo Dojo] Keidanko enters wearing his original outfit. Duck is wearing a leash and collar, P-chan is wearing a leash around his bandana. Keidanko goes up the stairs to the room he shares with Ranma and his father. Akane: Keidanko! What are you doing up? Keidanko: Took P-chan and Duck for a walk. Akane: Oh. You bought leashes? Keidanko: And a collar for Duck. Akane: Oh, okay. I'll take P-chan. Keidanko: With the leash you can assure he doesn't wander off. You can tie it up while you sleep. P-chan glares at Keidanko. Akane: Good idea, I wouldn't want my little P-chan to get lost again. Keidanko: 'Night. Akane: Good night. Akane goes to her room with P-chan. Keidanko: Well Duck, Let's get some sleep. Duck nods. Keidanko enters the room that he shares with Ranma and Genma. Keidanko: You guys just get home? Ranma: Nah, we've been home for about fifteen minutes. Keidanko: Then why are you two up? Ranma: I was attacked by Ryoga, Mousse, and some other guy. Keidanko: Oh, what happened? Ranma: Akane sent him into LEO. Keidanko: Oh, what'd he look like? Ranma: Don't know. He was dressed in black. Keidanko: Oh... Ranma: Hey, you've got a few bruises. Keidanko(panicky): Oh, I was hit by something in the air, I think it was that guy who attacked you. Duck looks nervous. Ranma: Oh. Well let's get to sleep. Keidanko: Ummm... where's your father? Ranma: Outside. Keidanko: Why? Ranma: I think that guy brought him out there so he wouldn't have interference. Like that would've mattered, Pops can probably sleep through a nuclear holocaust. That being the case, I'm gonna leave 'im out there. Keidanko(grins): Well, I can at least get some decent sleep, his snorin' kept me up. [The next morning, the Tendo dining room. It's Saturday.] Nabiki: So, there's someone out for your blood, big deal. Ranma: It is a big deal, he's got Mousse and Ryoga on his side. P-chan and Duck look uncomfortable. Akane: Yeah, he said his name was Bob. Ranma: I think that was a fake name. He hesitated before he said Bob. Akane: That's right. Soun: What happened afterwards? Akane: I hit the guy with my mallet. Soun: Oh, my little girl protected her fiance! Genma: I shall call the minister. Soun: Kasumi, prepare for a wedding. Kasumi: Okay father. A sweat drop appears behind Ranma and Akane's head. Keidanko: Come off it you two! Hekaru: Yes Soun, don't you two think they're a little young for marriage? I mean, they're not even out of high school. Ranma and Akane sigh at the same time. Keidanko: And anyway, there're a bunch of guys better than Ranma. Ranma: Hey! Keidanko: Just kiddin', I don't even know many people here, how would I know? P-chan wanders off. Ranma: Akane, your pig just left. Akane: P-chan? P-chan! Akane goes out of the house but runs into a wet Ryoga. Ryoga: Ranma, prepare to die! Ranma: Wasn't last night enough? Ryoga: You were almost defeated. Ranma: Almost don't count. Keidanko: Who's this? Ranma: Well, P-chan, introduce yourself. Ryoga: DIE RANMA!!! Ryoga then chases Ranma out of the house. Ryoga rushes Ranma but Ranma dodges at the last second. Ranma: Who was the punk that was with you last night? Ryoga: None of your business! Shi Shi Hokodan! Ranma charges up his ki. Keidanko: Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba! The fiery blast of ki and ki blast of depression cancel each other out. Ryoga: Eh? Keidanko: Who are you? Ryoga(to self): Oh yeah! He wants to keep up the show.(aloud) I'm Hibiki Ryoga and I'm gonna kill Ranma! Keidanko: Ranma is my cousin's fiancee and I'll protect him if I have to. Ryoga: Bakusai Tenketsu!! Ryoga drives his finger into the ground causing it to rip open. Keidanko: Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba!! Keidanko's attack slams into Ryoga as he dodges the Bakusai Tenketsu. Ryoga: Damn you Ranma! I'll get you next time! Ryoga then runs off. Keidanko: I hope he doesn't hurt P-chan. Akane: He won't, P-chan only dislikes Ranma. P-chan then starts running from something. Akane: P-chan! Happosai then catches the pig. Happosai: So Ranma-chan, Do you want to model this for me? Happosai pulls out a bra and panties from his pack. Ranma: Dream on, hentai! Keidanko: Now who's this? Happosai: I'm Happosai, Master of Anything Goes! Keidanko: Konichiwa, Happosai-sensei. Everyone looks at Keidanko as if he has the plague. Keidanko: What? Hekaru: I guess the guy that attacked Ranma hit you on the head harder than we thought, don't you remember the stories I told you about Happosai? Happosai looks annoyed. Keidanko: Oh yeah. I guess I should lay down a bit. Keidanko starts to exit. Happosai: Students, I will be staying here for a period of time. Genma and Soun look frightened, Hekaru looks angry. Genma and Soun: Yes master. Hekaru: No way! I ain't living in the same house as this hentai! Happosai: Do you wish to fight for it? Hekaru: Fine, if Keidanko loses then you can stay. If he wins then you leave and give me my bra back. Happosai: Deal. Keidanko: Eh? Happosai: Prepare yourself. Happosai charges at Keidanko and attacks with a series of three punches and a kick, all which connect. Keidanko: Ite. Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba!!! The blast misses Happosai by a mile. Happosai: Ha! Try this on for size! Three Happo-daikarins detonated right next to Keidanko. Keidanko: The hell? Fenikkusu Tada Hisho!! The energy slash cuts Happosai's bag as he dodges and panties fly all over the place. Ranma: Uh-oh. He got Happosai mad. Hekaru: Great, now I have to share the house with the hentai. Akane: Keidanko's going to lose. Keidanko(loud): Gee thanks for the vote of confidence you guys. Happosai the unleashes a barrage of attacks that all connect with Keidanko. Keidanko then falls over unconscious. Happosai: Young people never learn. Soun: Good job master. Genma: We never doubted you. Nabiki: Well that was a waste of time. Kasumi: Oh my. Everyone goes in while Ranma is dragging Keidanko behind him. [Ranma and Keidanko's room.] Keidanko is waking up Keidanko: Ite. What the hell happened? Ranma: Happosai beat you up. Keidanko: Damn! I lost to the hentai? Ranma: Yep. Keidanko: Where's Duck? Ranma: I'll look for him, you lay down. Ranma exits. Keidanko(to self): Can't believe it! I lost, maybe next time I shouldn't hold back..... [The Tendo living room.] Hekaru: I think that since Keidanko and I are going to be staying here for a while, he should go to school. Soun: Excellent idea! Genma: Yes, Keidanko shouldn't let his studies lack. Ranma enters. Ranma: Any of you guys see Duck? Hekaru: Who? Ranma: The brown duck Keidanko found, his name is Duck. Hekaru: Oh. I saw hentai-sensei bring a duck into the kitchen. Ranma: Uh-oh. Ranma rushes into the kitchen. Happosai has a pot boiling and is about to put Duck into it. Ranma: Happosai! Happosai: What? Ranma: Put the duck down and back away from the pot. Happosai: Why? It's dinner. Duck looks scared. P-chan then runs in and jumps on the counter. P-chan: Bweeee! Akane(off): Coming P-chan. Akane walks in. Akane: Happosai, what are you doing with Duck? Happosai: Duck? Ranma: Yeah, it's Keidanko's pet duck. Happosai: Oh. Happosai puts Duck down. Duck(angry): Quack! Akane: Oh poor Duck. You couldn't get away because your wing still hurts. Duck nods. Ranma: Well, I gotta bring Duck back to Keidanko. Ranma picks up Duck a proceeds to the stairs. Genma: Boy, when Keidanko wakes up, tell him we wish to see him. Ranma: Okay. Ranma walks upstairs. Genma: So Tendo, do you want to play a game of shogi? Soun: Yes Saotome, that is an excellent idea. Hekaru: I play winner. [Ranma and Keidanko's room] Keidanko is asleep, and is snoring loudly. Ranma walks in with Duck. Ranma: Geez, he's snorin'. Duck: Quack! Keidanko wakes up. Keidanko(sleepily): Uh? Wastat? Ranma: Oh, You're up Keidanko. Keidanko: It's *Yawn* you Ranma. Ranma: Yeah, I found Duck. He was about to become dinner. Keidanko: Oh. Thanks for savin' him Ranma. Ranma: Akane and Ryoga helped too. Keidanko: Oh. *Yawn* Tell them thanks too. Ranma: Alright. Ranma leaves Duck and exits the room. Keidanko: Hey, Mousse you okay? Duck shakes his head. Keidanko: Oh. Well then I guess we'll hafta talk to Happosai later then. Duck nods. Keidanko: First we need to get everyone outta the house. Duck nods. Keidanko: The we plan the next attack. Duck nods again. Keidanko: First Kasumi and Nabiki, then Ranma and Akane, and then my mom, Uncle Soun, and panda man. Duck nods once again. Keidanko: Okay. Let's get Operation: Get Everyone Outta the House underway. Duck: Quack. [The living room.] Genma: You didn't tell him boy? Ranma: He was sleepin'. Soun: That's alright, we will tell him at dinner. Keidanko comes down the stairs with Duck on his shoulder. Keidanko: Tell who what at dinner? Hekaru: Oh Keidanko, you're up. Keidanko: Yeah, so what's goin' on? Soun: Keidanko you should start going to school. Keidanko: Okay. Nabiki: Hardly any resistance. Akane: Yeah, unlike Ranma. Ranma: Kawaiikune. Akane: Baka. Hekaru: Keidanko, you start tomorrow. Keidanko: Fine, but I ain't wearin' no uniform. Everyone goes off to do their own thing and Keidanko walks up to his mother. Keidanko(to self): Hmmm... mom always said to realize your opponents weakness, and hers and Uncle Soun's would be sake. would Genma's be that also? (aloud) Hey, mom. Why don't you and Uncle Soun go out for some sake? Hekaru: Good idea. I haven't had a drink in three days. Keidanko: Yeah, you could ask Genma if he wants to go too. Hekaru: Okay. Keidanko and Hekaru walk over to the shogi board where Genma and Soun are in a riveting game of cheating. Hekaru: Hey, you two wanna get some sake later? Soun: Excellent idea Hekaru! Genma switches two pieces. Genma: Yes, I haven't had any sake in a while. Soun swiches the two exact pieces Genma switched. Hekaru: Okay, we'll go before dinner. Hekaru leaves. Keidanko: Hey, you guys want me to get Akane and Ranma to go out tonight? Soun: Yes Keidanko! Excellent idea! Trying as hard as we do at uniting our two schools. Genma switches the two pieces again. Genma: I'd prefer if Ranma asked her on his own, but a little help can't hurt. Soun changes the two pieces back. Keidanko: Okay, I'll try. Keidanko leaves. [Akane's room] Akane: Oh P-chan. Last night was so great! I wish Ranma would ask me out more often. And be nicer more often. There's a knock. Akane: Who is it? Keidanko(off): It's me. Akane: Come in. Keidanko opens the door and walks in. He then sits on the chair at Akane's desk. Keidanko: You wanna talk about your date? Akane: If you want to. Keidanko: Where'd he take you? Akane: Some new restaurant, Le Pomme de Terra. Keidanko starts chuckling. Akane: What? Keidanko: The Potato? Akane: Potato? Keidanko: Pomme de terra is french for potato. Akane: That baka! Keidanko: Calm down Akane. He doesn't look like someone who can speak french. Akane: You're right. Keidanko: I think Ranma wants to ask you out again. Akane(happy): Really? Keidanko: Yeah, but you know how he is. Akane: Yeah, he won't ask me. Keidanko: Try telling him your cooking. Akane: Hey! Keidanko: It worked last time. Akane: You're right, it did. P-chan glares at Keidanko. Keidanko: What's your problem, pork chop? Akane: P-chan doesn't like Ranma. Keidanko: Yeah, Ranma ain't very popular, is he? Akane: No, he's very popular. Everyone wants to either kill him or marry him, or both. Keidanko: Ha! And I thought I had problems when I fell in that spring. Akane: Oh well. I'm gonna go talk to Ranma. Keidanko: Not a good idea. Akane: Why? Keidanko: He's changing. Akane: Oh. Keidanko: I'm gonna change too. Akane: Okay. Keidanko leaves Akane's room. [Ranma and Keidanko's room] Ranma: It's so boring today. Keidanko enters. Keidanko: Hey, you like your date last night? Ranma: It was okay. Keidanko: Take Akane out again. Ranma: Geez, you're almost as bad as Oyaji and Mr. Tendo. Keidanko: No, I couldn't care less if you two get married. I just don't wanna die. Ranma: Huh? Keidanko: Akane's thinking of cooking. Ranma: Yeah right. You're just sayin' that to get me to go out with her. Keidanko: Oh Kami-sama, I'm gonna die young. Ranma: Don't need to lay it so thick. There's a knock. Ranma: Who is it? Akane(off): You two proper? Keidanko: Yeah. Akane walks in. Akane: Ranma? Ranma: What? Akane: Do you feel like okonomiyaki tonight? Ranma: Why? Akane: Because I'm cooking and I want to make you something you like. Ranma(to self): Do I wanna die or go out with Akane? No question.(aloud) Akane? Akane: Yes? Ranma(nervously): You wanna go out? Akane(happily): Sure! Let me get ready! Akane rushes to her room. Ranma: Oh man! You were right. Arigato, Keidanko Keidanko: No, arigato Ranma. Tell the two members of the Akane and Ranma Forever club. Ranma: Why? Keidanko: You need yen to go out. Ranma: Good idea. Keidanko(to self): Okay, all I need to do is get Nabiki and Kasumi outta the house. Ranma and Keidanko leave to go down stairs. [Living room] Ranma: Hey Pops. I'm gonna take Akane out. Genma: That's my boy. Soun: Good job Ranma, soon the two schools shall be united. Ranma: No. I'm taking her out so she don't kill no one with her cooking. Soun: Oh. Still, here's some money for your date. Soun gives Ranma 6000 yen. Ranma: Arigato. Ranma leaves to get ready. Soun: Good job, Keidanko. Genma: Yes, with your help, we will get the schools united as soon as they're out of high school. Keidanko: Yeah. Keidanko then leaves to find Kasumi. [Kitchen] Kasumi is cleaning the kitchen. Keidanko walks in. Kasumi: Oh, konichiwa Keidanko! Keidanko: Konichiwa. Kasumi? Kasumi: Yes? Keidanko: Why don't you go out tonight? Kasumi: I have to prepare dinner. Keidanko: Nah, mom, Uncle Soun and Mr. Saotome are going out and so are Ranma and Akane. Kasumi: Oh my. Keidanko: Me and Nabiki can survive on take out. Kasumi: Okay. Keidanko: Good, you deserve it. Kasumi: Arigato Keidanko. Kasumi then leaves to get ready. Keidanko: Now, Nabiki. [Nabiki's room] Nabiki: Hmmm... my profits are down. And sale of Ranma's pictures are down too. There's a knock. Nabiki: Who is it? Keidanko(off): Keidanko. Nabiki(to self): Hmmm... a new cash cow.(aloud) Come in. Keidanko then comes in. Nabiki: So what's new? Keidanko: Everyone save you and me are going out. Nabiki: Even Kasumi? Keidanko: Yep. Nabiki: Interesting. Keidanko: Why don't you go out too? Nabiki: Yeah, well I have nothing better to do. Keidanko: And besides my cooking ain't that great. Nabiki: So you're cooking? Keidanko: Better than Akane, right? Nabiki: Yeah. Keidanko: So you gonna go out? Nabiki: Yeah, why not? Wait, what about Happosai? Keidanko: Eh? Nabiki: You know, Happosai the one who beat you. Keidanko: I thought he went on panty raids at night. Nabiki: He comes home at night to grab something to eat. Keidanko: I'll leave something. Nabiki: Oh. Keidanko: I'll leave to let you change. Keidanko leaves to pick up P-chan and Duck. [Later, the living room] Mousse: Finally. Everyone's gone? Keidanko: Yep. Ryoga: What's the idea fixing Akane and Ranma up? Keidanko: I needed to get 'em outta the house. Happosai: So the duck I was about to cook was Mousse? Mousse: Yeah, and I don't appreciate it! Happosai: Innocent mistake. Keidanko: Yeah, and it worked out because of teamwork. Mousse: How? Keidanko: I sent Ranma to look for you, Ryoga called Akane and Happosai dropped you. Mousse: Grrrr. Happosai: Anyway, what's the plan? Ryoga: Our last plan failed, so we thought we'd let you do it this time. Happosai: Good idea. Happosai and the others start to plan. Keidanko: Told you Ryoga. Ryoga: I don't completely agree with that plan... Mousse: Me neither. Happosai: It will work. Keidanko: Yeah, really. So we grab Ukyo, Shampoo, Akane, and Kodachi's panties? Happosai: Yes, then we put them in Ranma's drawers. Keidanko: You're lucky I hate Ranma enough to do this. Mousse: I think Keidanko should do it. Ryoga: Yeah, can you copy Ranma's voice and attacks? Keidanko: In case if I'm discovered? Ryoga: And when you fight, you can use Ranma as a disguise. Happosai: Good idea. Keidanko(Ranma voice): Alright. Moko Takabisha!! Keidanko launches a small blast of confidence. Keidanko(normal voice): Already done. Mousse: Good, now Ranma will fall. Ryoga: Yes, now I can have revenge. Happosai: He will respect me now. Keidanko: He will never bother Akane again. The plan won't go into effect until Friday. Ryoga: Why? Keidanko: I got school. Mousse: Oh. Keidanko: Okay Duck and P-chan, back to your former selves. Ryoga and Mousse: Aw man! [Later Ranma and Keidanko's room.] Keidanko: So, how was your date? Ranma: Went fine, til the end that is. Keidanko: What happened? Ranma: Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi showed up. Keidanko(to self) Ha ha ha ha ha ha!(aloud) Oh, that's not good. Ranma: Yeah, I got hit twice by Akane, three times by Ukyo, seven from Shampoo and I lost count on Kodachi. Keidanko: Ite. Ranma: Yeah. All I wonder is how they found out that we were going out. Keidanko: I have no idea. [Flashback] Keidanko's on the phone Keidanko: Ukyo? Ranma's out on a date. Keidanko: Shampoo? Nah, he's on a date. Keidanko: Geez Kodachi! I told you seven times he is on a date with Akane. [end flashback] Ranma: Yeah, the high point of the evening was when we got home. Keidanko: You and Akane kissed? Ranma: No, they stopped giving chase. Keidanko facefaults Ranma: I'm kidding. Yeah we kissed. And no one interrupted. Keidanko: You can thank me for that. Ranma: Why? Keidanko: I got everyone to go out for the night. Ranma: Cool. Keidanko: Yeah, the parents will come back hammered, Kasumi probably went out with Tofu, and I don't know where Nabiki is. Ranma: That is dangerous. Keidanko: Not knowing where Nabiki is? Ranma: No.... Keidanko: Letting our parents get drunk? Ranma: No, letting Kasumi and Tofu go out. Keidanko: Why? Ranma turns on the TV Announcer: Today, a large part of Tokyo was damage when a young girl asked a doctor to accompany her for the evening. Reports are sketchy, but they say the damage was caused by the doctor very easily in a trance like state where the doctor had no idea what was occurring. Keidanko: Oh. Ranma then turns off the TV Ranma: Somethings never change. Keidanko: Well, let's go to bed. It's my first day of school tomorrow. Ranma: Alright. 'Night. Keidanko: 'Night. [Dining room, the next morning] The Tendos and Saotomes were just finishing breakfast. Ranma: That was delicious Kasumi. Akane: Yeah, it was really good. Kasumi: Arigato. Where's Keidanko? As if on cue a brown blur comes down the stairs and passes the table and the food in Keidanko's place has disappeared. The Blur: Ohmygodi'mgonnabelateformyfirstdayofschoolandmymother'llkillmeandi'll bedeportedandi'llliveinchinaandi'llbelonelywhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! The blur was then identified as Keidanko. No one could stop him as he rocketed out of the house on his way to school. Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki just sighed. Akane: I think he'll be upset to find out he wasn't late. Ranma: Yeah. Did you understand anything he said? Nabiki: Nope. You Akane? Akane: Not a word. And with that they left for school. [The gates of Furinken High] Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki all approach the gates. They see a lot of people laying on the ground, twitching. Then they see Kuno, who was up in a tree looking as if he has been in an incinerator. Ranma: I guess Keidanko has been here. Nabiki: No kidding. Hey, Kuno-chan! What happened? Kuno(weakly): A blur ran over the other students. Then I, The Blue Thunder of Furinken High, tried to stop it. It did stop, then it said "Getouttamywayi'mlateidon'thavetimeforthisidon'twannabelatethat'sit hiryurippukutsuba!!!!!" Then the knave launched a ball of fire at me. He shall learn the wrath of The Blue Thunder of Furinken High! I shall smite the cowardous curr! He shall not go unpunished! I..... Kuno's ranting was cut off as Ranma punted him into the distance. Ranma: Shut up you baka! Akane: Keidanko did this? Nabiki: I guess so. Ranma: What the hell was he thinkin'!? Akane: What? Ranma: He just rushed by them all without regard. Akane: I guess you're right. Ranma: I am. Nabiki: Let's get to our classes. They then enter the school. Then a few minutes later they're leaving with Keidanko, in girl form, going home. Akane: I can't believe it! Keidanko no baka! You injured the entire student body! You baka! You could have seriously hurt someone! Don't you ever think! I can't believe you! Akane goes on and on. Keidanko-chan seems to be cowering. Ranma: Man, she's really chewin' him out. Nabiki: Yeah. I guess you won't be a target for awhile. Ranma: Yeah. Akane: Keidanko, think next time! Didn't you see us when you ran by? Keidanko-chan: Ummmm..... no, I was going to fast. Akane: Baka! Keidanko-chan winces Ranma: Geez Akane. Cut him some slack. I mean he didn't know what time school starts. Nabiki: That's true Akane, he didn't Keidanko-chan sighs, relieved. Ranma: And besides, we got a day off from school. Akane: Baka. Ranma: Geez Akane. Loosen up a bit. Akane: Just because I'm not as reckless as you are Ranma doesn't mean I'm high strung. Ranma: Yeah, that's true. But you are high strung. Akane: Grrrrrrr..... Nabiki: He's right. I have an idea..... Ranma: No thanks. Akane: That's alright Nabiki, you don't need to bother yourself with our problems. Keidanko-chan: I hope it has nothing to do with me. Nabiki: No no no. I insist on helping you two out. Ranma and Akane both groan. Keidanko-chan(to self): At least I'm not involved. Nabiki: I'm going to need your help, Keidanko. Keidanko-chan joins in on the groan. Nabiki: You two should trade places for a day. Ranma: Why? Nabiki: So you both know how it feels to be the other person. Keidanko-chan: Why do you need my help? Nabiki: I need you to get some of the Instant Spring of Drowned Man powder from Cologne. Keidanko-chan: Oh, that's it? Nabiki: Yes. Keidanko-chan: Alright, I'll go there now. Keidanko-chan runs towards the Nekohanten. Akane: Nabiki, why do you need Instant Spring of Drowned Man? Nabiki: Because, Akane, you will be a boy for one whole day. Akane: NANI!!! What do you mean I'll be a boy for a day! Nabiki: You'll be a boy for a day, and Ranma'll be a girl for a day. Ranma: Uh-uh, noway in hell am I gonna be a girl for a day. Nabiki: I'll remove half your debt if you go through the whole day as a girl. Ranma thinks for awhile. Ranma: How much do I owe you? Nabiki: Not even Bill Gates could get you out of debt. Ranma: Oh. Alright, I'm in. Akane: I can do any thing that baka can, I'm in too. Nabiki: Oh yeah. I want to try something. I'll be at the house. When you guys see him, tell him to come to my room. Sayonara! Nabiki heads off to the dojo. Akane: I guess this is my last moments as a girl for a day. Ranma: I ain't gonna be a guy for a day, I hope Pops don't get no stupid ideas. Akane: Like what? Ranma: Tryin' to marry us anyway. Akane: Huh? Ranma: Me the bride and you the groom. Akane: If he values Kasumi's food he won't try anything funny. Ranma: Wouldn't you cooking be friendly fire? Akane: Baka! I was going to chain him up! Ranma: Oh. Mean while..... [Nekohanten] Keidanko-chan walks in. A girl walks up to him. She has purple hair done in two ponytails and has brown eyes. She is wearing a waitreesing uniform. Girl: Nihao! What Shampoo get new boy? Keidanko-chan: The old bat. Shampoo: What new boy want with great grandmother? Keidanko-chan: No of your business, kitty-cat. Shampoo(slightly angry): Shampoo no get great grandmother for new boy. Keidanko-chan(chinese): Get her now! Shampoo(chinese): You speak chinese? Keidanko-chan(chinese): Yeah, I decided to speak it now 'cause your broken japanese was gettin' on my nerves. Shampoo(angry again, chinese): It's not my fault I can't speak japanese well. Keidanko-chan(chinese): Just get me Kuh-Lon. Shampoo walks to the back of the restaurant. Shampoo(chinese, off): Great grandmother, there is someone to see you. Cologne(off): Why aren't you speaking japanese? With practice you will be able to speak fluently. Shampoo(off): Yes, great grandmother. Cologne walks in from the back. Cologne: What do you need? Keidanko-chan(chinese): Do you speak english? Cologne(chinese): Yes, is this why Xian-Pu was talking in chinese? Keidanko-chan(chinese): Yes. I need to speak to you in a language Xian-Pu doesn't understand, at all. Cologne(english): Very well, what do you need? Keidanko-chan(english): Do you have any Instant Spring of Drowned Man powder? Cologne(english): Yes, I do. Why did we need to speak in english? Keidanko-chan(english): I thought you were gonna ask me what I wanted it for. Cologne(english): I was going to ask you that. This grabbed my attention first. Keidanko-chan(english): Oh, well I need it for my cousin, Akane. Cologne(english): Why? Keidanko-chan(english) Nabiki wants Akane and Ranma to switch places for a day. Cologne(english): In role and in physical form as well, right? Keidanko-chan(english): Yeah. Cologne(english): Why don't you want Shampoo to now about this? Keidanko-chan(english): Because it's a plan to get Akane and Ranma together. Cologne(english): Oh, well I'll get the Instant Spring of Drowned Man powder for you. Keidanko-chan: Okay. Cologne walks to the back of the restaurant and returns a minute later. Cologne: Here you go. Keidanko-chan: Arigato, can you not tell Shampoo 'bout this? Cologne: Why? Keidanko-chan: I sorta wanna play a little joke. Cologne: How? Keidanko-chan: I'm gonna make Akane look like Ranma and Ranma look like Akane. Cologne: Alright, it'll serve grand daughter right if she doesn't realize it's Akane as Son-in-law. Keidanko-chan: Sayonara. Keidanko-chan leaves the Nekohanten. [Tendo Dojo, outside Nabiki's room.] Keidanko knocks on the door. Nabiki(off): Come in. Keidanko enters Nabiki's room. Keidanko: What'd ya need me for? Nabiki: I was wondering if the story Auntie told was true. Keidanko: Which one? Nabiki: The one about you being able to use any magic, even if you've never seen it. Keidanko: It's true, all you have to do is describe the magic and I can use it. It's also how I learn techniques too. Nabiki: Okay, here goes.... [Tendo living room] Akane: Daddy! It's only one day! Soun is crying. Ranma: Geez Mr. Tendo, you don't see Pops actin' like that! Genma: That's because I've accepted that my son is a weak little girl. Hekaru: You two are bakas. Can't you see that this is a golden opportunity? Hekaru then explains thing in english. Soun stops crying. Genma: Alright, but only this one time. Soun: I hope it doesn't affect Akane to much. Akane: It won't daddy. Keidanko and Nabiki walk in. Nabiki: You ready? Akane: Yes. Nabiki splashes Akane with the bucket of Instant Spring of Drowned Man. Akane changes into a guy. He is about the same size as Ranma, and has the same color hair as Ranma. Keidanko: Great! Akane-kun: What? Keidanko: All you two need is contacts to change the colors of your eyes and some hair dye and hair cut for Ranma and you two are finished. Akane-kun: What do you mean? Nabiki: We're going to make you two look alike. Ranma: No way! Keidanko then launches two small beams of water at Ranma and Akane. Ranma-chan: What was that for? Akane-kun: Why did you wet me? I'm already in my cursed form. Keidanko: Yes, but you both are stuck in them. Akane-kun and Ranma-chan: NANI!?!?!? Nabiki: And if you two cooperate we can truly switch both your places. Two hours later Nabiki: There! You guys look exactly alike. Keidanko: Put these contacts on tomorrow morning. Ranma-chan: Okay. Akane-kun: Alright. Nabiki: Okay now. Ranma you get Akane's room, and Akane you get Ranma's. Akane-kun: Why? Keidanko: So no one's the wiser. Akane-kun: Oh alright. Keidanko: And you both have to act like each other. Ranma-chan and Akane-kun: Alright. Ranma-chan and Akane-kun go upstairs to sleep. Keidanko: You owe me 500 yen. Nabiki: I hate losing money. Nabiki hands over the money and goes upstairs. P-chan then walks in. Keidanko: Ryoga. P-chan looks up. Keidanko: Akane and Ranma have switched places for a day. So go easy on Akane. P-chan nods. Keidanko picks up P-chan and heads to Akane's room. [Akane's room] Ranma-chan: Great! Now I have to act like Akane. Knock knock. Ranma-chan: Come in. Keidanko walks in with P-chan. Keidanko: Hey Akane. Ranma-chan winces. Keidanko: Here's P-chan. P-chan(happy): Bwee! Ranma-chan(to self): I guess I'll have to be nice to Ryoga.(aloud) Oh P-chan! I missed you so much! P-chan(to self): Huh? I thought Ranma would beat me up or something. Ranma-chan: I guess I'll make cookies for you and Ranma. And if he doesn't eat them, I'll bash his head in. P-chan(to self): I guess Ranma's going all out. Ranma-chan: Keidanko, do we have any garlic? Keidanko and P-chan sweatdrop. Keidanko: Uh... yeah, we do. Ranma-chan(happy): Good, I'll make cookies for Ranma then! Ranma-chan then leaves the room with revenge on her mind. Keidanko: Oh Kami-sama, I don't think Akane'll survive the day. P-chan nods. Keidanko and P-chan leave the room. [Kitchen] Ranma-chan is waiting for the cookies of death to finish and has already prepared the tea of damnation. Akane-kun then walks in. Akane-kun: Whacha doin'? Ranma-chan: Oh, Ranma! I'm making you some cookies. Akane-kun(to self): Is this a good thing or bad thing? Keidanko walks in with P-chan. P-chan glares at Akane-kun. Akane-kun: What's bacon's problem? P-chan glares again at Akane-kun. Ranma-chan: He's probably still upset for when you tried flushing down the toilet. Akane-kun(to self): Nani!? (aloud, nervous voice) How'd you know? Ranma-chan: Daddy had to get a plumber for it, you baka. Akane-kun: Oh. Keidanko chuckles. The timer dings. Ranma-chan(happy): Oh! The cookies are done! Ranma-chan pulls out the cookies. Ranma-chan: Here Ranma. Have one! Akane-kun: Uh.... no thanks. Ranma-chan: Eat one or be put into traction. Akane-kun: I'll be hospitalized either way. Ranma-chan(hurt voice on the brink of crying): Ranma! Don't you care how hard I worked on them? Akane-kun: Geez Akane! I'll eat one. Just don't cry. Ranma-chan(happy): Good! And have some of the tea I made too! Akane-kun(to self): He made tea too? (aloud) Okay. Akane-kun takes a cookie and some tea. He eats and drinks it. He then ends up throwing up in the sink. Ranma-chan: I guess I used to much garlic... the tea should be alright since I use the bottled water in the fridge. Keidanko sweatdrops Keidanko: Uh... Akane? Ranma-chan: Yes? Keidanko: The only bottled liquid we have is vinegar. Ranma-chan: Oh. Akane-kun: You tomboy! Are you trying to kill me?! Ranma-chan(slightly angry): What do you mean!? Akane-kun: I should've thought better than to eat your cooking! Ranma-chan is at the breaking point. Keidanko pulls out a mallet and hands it to Ranma-chan. Ranma-chan: RANMA NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!! *WHAM!!!!!* Ranma-chan slams the mallet into Akane-kun's head. She then pulls it off of Akane-kun and hands it back to Keidanko. She then storms off to her room. Keidanko: I guess you got your work cut out for ya, ne? Akane-kun(mumbling): Keidanko no baka. [Friday morning, Ranma, Keidanko, and Genma's room.] *Splash!!* Akane-kun: What'd ya do that for?! Genma(surprised): Boy! You're cured! Akane-kun: What'd ya mean I'm cured? Boy? Genma: Yes! You're still a boy! Keidanko walks in. Keidanko: Panda no baka. Don't you remember? That's Akane! Genma: Oh. I forgot. Akane-kun: Keidanko. Don't remind anyone else! Keidanko: Gomen. Akane-kun: Okay, don't let it happen again. Okay Oyaji, ready to get yer furry butt kicked? Genma: Ha! You're getting overconfident boy! Akane-kun: Ha! I could beat ya blindfolded! Geanm: Alright boy. Let's go! Five minutes later. The dining room Panda: Growf. Akane-kun: Still upset? Panda(sign): Show me respect boy! Akane-kun: I will when you earn it! Panda: Grrrrr...... Ranma-chan: Ranma! Stop picking on Saotome-san! Akane-kun: What's it to you tomboy? Kasumi: Breakfast is ready. Everyone sits and no one eats. They're all watching Akane-kun. Akane-kun: What? Ranma-chan: Eat! Akane-kun: Uh-oh. Ranma-chan: It's good! Right P-chan? P-chan nods, slowly, as if saying "Run away while you can." Ranma-chan: See? Now eat! Akane-kun takes a bite. He is then found on the floor. Akane-kun: Gurgle. Ranma-chan: Ranma! Keidanko walks up to Akane-kun. Keidanko: How many fingers am I holding up? He's holding up 3 Akane-kun: Uh.... 9 Ranma-chan then gets angry, and Keidanko hands her a mallet. Ranma(to self): I could get used to this. (aloud) RANMA NO BAKA!!!!!! *WHAM!!* Keidanko: Ite. Ranma-chan then peels the mallet off of Akane-kun, who is in the blissful state of unconsciousness. Keidanko: Well, let's go to school. Twenty minutes later they leave. Akane-kun is wearing Ranma's usual, a red chinese shirt and black baggy pants. Ranma-chan is wearing a Furinken uniform. Keidanko is wearing his usual, a white tee-shirt, an open tropical tee-shirt, and blue baggy pants. Nabiki had left ahead of time to collect owed debts from anyone unfortunate to cross her path. Akane-kun: Didn't have ta hit me so hard! Ranma-chan: I wouldn't have to hit you if you weren't such a baka! Keidanko: Pipe down children. Ranma-chan and Akane-kun: Grrrr..... They hear a bike bell. Akane-kun: Oh-no. A bike, and its rider, falls out of the sky and lands on Akane-kun. Shampoo: Nihao! Airen take Shampoo to date? Akane-kun: Gr hst mke rf ri! Shampoo: Airen say yes? Keidanko: Take the bike offa him and ask. Shampoo removes the bike and glomps Akane-kun. Shampoo: Airen take Shampoo to date now? Akane-kun: Uh..... Ranma-chan's battle aura flares up. Ranma-chan(growls): Ranma..... Keidanko: Uh.. Shampoo? Shampoo: What new boy want? Keidanko: I sorta made a bet with Nabiki. Shampoo: So? Keidanko: It was "Whoever glomps Ranma Keidanko has to go out with or they both pay 5000 yen." Shampoo looks confused Keidanko: So I gotta go out with ya. Then Ranma-chan and Akane-kun join Shampoo in confusion Shampoo: So new boy take Shampoo to date? Keidanko: Unless you don't wanna. Shampoo: Shampoo no have 5000 yen. Keidanko: So we're gonna go out? Shampoo: Yes. Shampoo leave now. Shampoo rides her bike toward the Nekohanten Ranma-chan: Is that true? Keidanko: Yeah, damn Nabiki. I'm just glad it wasn't Kuno. Ranma-chan: Yet. Keidanko pales Akane-kun: Let's hurry or we're gonna be late! Ranma-chan: Like that's new. Keidanko: Let's go! The three continue to school [The gates of Furinken High] Akane-kun: We maybe.... Just then, Kuno jumps out. Kuno: Foul Saotome! I, Kuno Tatewaki, shall smite you and release Tendo Akane and the pig-tailed goddess from your dark grasp. Just then, snoring could be heard. Keidanko had fallen asleep during Kuno's rant. Kuno: You dare mock the Blue Thunder of Furinken High? Very well, I shall defeat you, then smite Saotome. A crash of thunder woke Keidanko up. Keidanko: Huh? Whaz goin' on? Akane-kun: You fightin' Kuno. Keidanko: Oh. Shut the hell up Kuno! Fenikkusu Tada Hisho! The ki sword slash slams into Kuno knocking him unconscious. Ranma-chan: We may not be late. 10 minutes later, Furinken halls. Ranma-chan and Akane-kun are holding buckets. Akane-kun: You had to open your kawaiikune mouth. Ranma-chan: Ranma no baka. Keidanko-chan walks up with her buckets. Akane-kun: What happened to you? Keidanko-chan: Kuno attacked me. Ranma-chan: Oh. Akane-kun: So, they know 'bout your curse? Keidanko-chan: Yeah. Kuno saw me change too. Ranma-chan: What happened? Keidanko-chan: Knocked him out. Kuno(off): Foul shapeshifter! Where is your cowardous hide? Keidanko-chan: Kuso! If he liked me I could handle it, but now he thinks I'm a demon. Kuno(off): Come forth, foul spawn of Saotome! Akane-kun: And he thinks I summoned you. Kuno walks up. Kuno: So demon, do you wish to die? Keidanko-chan then gets an idea. Keidanko-chan(kawaii voice): Oh master! Please protect me! Keidanko-chan then cowers behind Ranma-chan. Kuno: Tendo Akane, is this demon yours? Keidanko-chan: She and Saotome-san saved me from a dark wizard. Akane-kun: You see? You jumped to conclusions and blamed me. Ranma-chan: Yes Kuno. We were protecting this poor girl and you almost ruined everything. Kuno(confused): Huh? (confident) Oh! I see! Ha! The three cursed individuals look uneasy. Kuno: You, demon, hath muddled the mind of the fair Tendo Akane into thinking that you are a helpless maiden. Ranma-chan: Kuno! It's true! Akane-kun: Kami-sama. Kuno no baka. Kuno: Have at thee demon! Kuno wildly slashes at Keidanko-chan. Keidanko-chan: What *dodge* the *sidestep* hell *block* are *jump* you *duck* do *weave* ing! *back step* Keidanko-chan is dodging all of Kuno's attacks. Kuno: Ha! No demon can survive against the Blue Thunder of Furinken High! Keidanko-chan keeps dodging. She doesn't see the puddle behind her. Keidanko-chan: Hey Kuno-baka, you to slow! Kuno: Foul demon! Be you male or female? Keidanko-chan: I'm a guy you bastard! I'm gonna kick yer AAAAAAAHHHSSSSS!!! Keidanko-chan slipped on the puddle and fell down the stairs. Akane-kun stalked up to Kuno. Akane-kun: KUNO NO BAKA!! THAT WAS MY COUSIN!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!! Ranma-chan was trying to hold Akane-kun back, but failed when Akane-kun's battle aura flared up. Akane-kun: KUNO NO BAKA!!!! *WHAM!!!* Kuno leaves the school through a Kuno shaped hole. Akane-kun then collapses and starts crying. The teacher comes out. Teacher: What's going on? Ranma-chan: Keidanko fell down the stairs. Teacher: Hurry and bring him to the nurse's office. Ranma-chan: Hai. The teacher goes back into the classroom. Akane-kun, however, was pulling a Soun. Ranma-chan: Come on Akane. We gotta get Keidanko to the nurse. Akane-kun: O *sob* kay. Ranma-chan went to collect Keidanko-chan, but realizes she is to heavy for Ranma's current form. She then gets an idea. Ranma-chan: Akane? Akane-kun: Yeah? *sob* Ranma-chan: Could you carry Keidanko? He's to heavy for me. Akane-kun: Okay. Akane-kun picks up Keidanko-chan and they head towards the nurse's office. [Nurse's office] Keidanko-chan is laying down. Akane-kun has been crying, evidence being his red eyes. Ranma-chan finished talking to the nurse. Ranma-chan: So he'll wake up in a few hours? Nurse: Yes. I can't believe there's another one of you. Ranma-chan: Gomen. Nurse: Don't worry. I'll go get Nabiki, so you and Akane should get Keidanko ready to go home. Ranma-chan: I see.... The nurse leaves and Ranma-chan walks up to Akane-kun. He is looking at Keidanko-chan's still form. Ranma-chan then hugs Akane-kun. Akane-kun(weak voice): Arigato Ranma. Ranma-chan: Shh... you need to calm down. He'll wake up in a few hours. The nurse said she was gonna get Nabiki. She also said we should leave school early. Akane-kun(weak voice): Hai. Nabiki then walks in. She looks upset. Nabiki: Is he alright? Ranma-chan: Hai, he'll wake up in a few hours. Nabiki the hugs Ranma-chan, crying softly. Even though Nabiki seems heartless, she does have a heart, with a soft spot for family. Ranma-chan: We should head home. Nabiki: Hai. Nabiki the collects herself, the glances over to Keidanko-chan, who is being picked up by Akane-kun. Ranma-chan: Even though he's alright, I still think we're gonna end up in a hospital. Akane-kun: Why? Ranma-chan: The way your father reacts, I think he'll be dehydrated. Akane-kun: Ranma!! Ranma-chan: What? I'm just concerned for your father's health. Akane-kun: Oh. [Tendo Dojo living room.] It was mid-day and nothing was really going on. Soun and Genma were playing shoji. Hekaru was watching them playing and beating the crap out of Happosai for grabbing her. Happosai was grabbing Hekaru and watching Duck and P-chan. Kasumi was on dirt patrol, which no dust bunny could survive milliseconds in. Then there was a knock at the door. Kasumi went to answer it. Hekaru: I know what you're doing, hentai-sensei. Happosai: What? Hekaru: You're taking care if the animals so you can grab Akane. Happosai: No, I actually like them. They give me the respect I deserve. P-chan and Duck nod. Hekaru: Kami-sama, I just imagined Duck and P-chan stealing panties. Duck and P-chan pale. Kasumi(off): Oh MY! Everyone looks to see what was going on. Ranma-chan rushes to get a futon. Akane-kun comes in with Keidanko-chan, followed by a distraught Nabiki and confused Kasumi. Soun: What happened? Ranma-chan came back with the futon and laid it out for Keidanko-chan. Akane-kun laid Keidanko-chan on the futon. Kasumi placed a wet rag on her head. Akane-kun(growl): Kuno..... Ranma-chan: Keidanko slipped and fell down some stairs while fighting Kuno-baka. Hekaru: Keidanko.... Soun would've offered words of comfort, but he was bawling like tears were going out of style. Akane-kun: Dad.... Ranma-chan: Told ya so. Kasumi, could you get Mr. Tendo some water? Kasumi: Okay. Kasumi leaves and returns with some water. She hands it to Soun. Kasumi: Here father. A few hours later. Mousse, Shampoo, Ryoga, and a girl showed up. The girl has brown hair in a ponytail and blue eyes. She is wearing a blue uniform top and black pants. She has a large spatula on her back. Girl: So, Ranchan. What's going on. Who's that? The girl points at Keidanko-chan. Ranma-chan: That's Akane's cousin, Keidanko. Akane-kun: Keidanko.... Keidanko-chan(sleepily): Yes, Akane? Everyone(except Keidanko): Gasp! Keidanko-chan: Is something wrong? Ranma-chan: Nah, we're just glad you're back. Keidanko-chan: I'm glad to be back. Kasumi: I'm going to start dinner. Keidanko-chan: I'll help you. Kasumi: Oh no, I don't need help. Keidanko-chan: But I insist. Kasumi: Alright, let's go. Kasumi and Keidanko-chan head to the kitchen. Ranma-chan: So you gonna leave now? Girl: Nah, I'm gonna stay awhile, Ranchan. Shampoo: Shampoo stay with Airen. Mousse: I'm staying with Shampoo. Ryoga: Well, I guess I'll leave. Ryoga the leaves, walking into the closet. Ryoga(in closet): Wow, it got dark early! Ranma-chan: Baka. Ranma-chan opens the closet door and let's Ryoga out. Ryoga: Huh? Ranma-chan: Don't bother leaving. You'll never make your way out. Girl: Ranchan? Who's he? The girl points at Akane-kun. Ranma-chan: That's Akane. Shampoo: So, that why great grandmother give new boy Drowned Man powder. Mousse: We'll just splash her with warm water. Ranma-chan and Akane-kun look nervous. Girl: Is there something we missed? Akane-kun: I'm.... stuck like this. Ryoga: Nani? Ranma, I'll kill you! Ranma-chan: Huh? Akane-kun: Ryoga! It's not his fault! Everyone(including Ranma-chan): Huh? Girl: You're the one who says it's always his fault! Shampoo: Why violent girl no say it Airen fault? Akane-kun: Because Ranma's stuck too! Girl and Shampoo: Nani!?! Mousse: What happened? Akane-kun: Keidanko sealed us. Shampoo: New boy do this? Shampoo kill! Girl: I'm gonna make that jackass feel pain! Ryoga: Now I have another reason the attack him! The three head to the kitchen. Ranma-chan: Ucchan, come off it! Akane-kun: Ryoga, it's reversible. Mousse: Shampoo! This is a sign of the fates! We were meant to be! Said fates sneezed. The Ranma-chan, Akane-kun, and Mousse rush to the kitchen. the six martial artists stop dead in their tracks when they enter the kitchen. What they saw and heard chilled them to the bone. All six of them paled at the sight and sound. Kasumi: Oh my! You look so kawaii! Keidanko-chan was standing, clothed in a frilly pink apron. Keidanko-chan: I don't know.... I think I look a little fat. Kasumi: Oh no, you don't look fat. Keidanko-chan(smiling): Arigato. Kasumi: You're welcome. Ranma-chan: What the hell is going on!? Kasumi and Keidanko-chan look at Ranma-chan with surprise. Kasumi and Keidanko-chan(surprised): Oh my! Akane-kun: What's going on? Kasumi: Keichan and I were talking while making dinner. Keichan: Yes. Shampoo: Shampoo no kill if change Airen back! Keidanko: Hm? Shampoo advances on Keichan, while Akane-kun, Mousse and Ranma-chan try to hold her back. Shampoo: Shampoo kill new boy! Keichan: Where's the new boy? I'd like to see if he's cute before you kill him. Everyone, save Shampoo and Kasumi, facefaults. Ranma-chan: Nani?! Keichan: I was thinking of getting a boyfriend.... Ryoga-kun? Ryoga: What? Keichan: Would you like to go out with me? Everyone(including Kasumi): Nani!? Keichan: Please? Keichan looks at Ryoga with a look that would put Asuza into a diabetic coma. Ryoga(entranced): O-okay. Keichan(happy): Oh, thank you! Keichan runs up to Ryoga and pecks him on the cheek. She then goes upstairs to change into something nice. Ryoga's body is lifeless for a minute. He snaps out of it. Ryoga: What just happened? Ranma-chan: You're goin' out with Keidanko. Akane-kun: He thinks he's a she. Ukyo: Just like Ranchan. Everyone, save Kasumi, groans. Keichan then come down wearing Akane-kun's sky blue dress. Keichan: Akane, I hope it's alright I wear this. Akane-kun: Go ahead, it's not like I can wear it now. Keichan: Arigato Akane! Let's go Ryochan! Ryoga: Huh? Keichan then grabs Ryoga's arm and leaves the dojo. Ukyo: Uh-oh. Ranma-chan: Shampoo, Mousse. Follow them. She turns around as Ukyo splashes them with water. Akane-kun: Duck? Ranma-chan: Shampoo, go. Shampoo-neko nods, then runs off after the couple. Duck, however, was caught by Akane-kun. They splash him with water and changes him to Mousse. Ranma-chan: I thought that two smart animals was suspicious. So Mousse, who was your friend? Mousse: I'm not telling you. Ukyo: Mousse.... She pulls out her battle spatula. Akane-kun: .....no.... Akane-kun pulls two hammers from nowhere and hands one to Ranma-chan. Ranma-chan: ....BAKA!!! *WHAM WHAM WHAM!!!!!!* All three hit Mousse at once. Mousse falls over, unconscious. Ranma-chan: Ucchan, Call Cologne and tell her to bring a truth potion. Ukyo went to the phone. [Meanwhile, a street near the Nekohanten.] An ecstatic Keichan was hanging on Ryoga's arm while they were walking slowly toward the Nekohanten. Keichan was leading of course. Keichan: So Ryochan *giggle* where do you want to go? Ryoga: How about Le Pomme de Terra? Keichan: Okay! The Potato it is! Ryoga: Okay. (to self) I hope he doesn't eat alot. Ryoga sweatdrops as Keichan's stomache chose then to make itself known. Keichan(blushing slightly): Hee hee, I missed lunch. Ryoga: Heh, I guess that would make anyone hungry. Keichan: Hai, but I won't eat much since you don't have much money..... Ryoga: Nonono! Eat as much as you want! Keichan: Hmm.... I guess you don't care if I get fat. Ryoga: I.... ah.... uh..... Ryoga is stuttering and sweating while Keichan is giggling. Ryoga: Huh? Keichan: I'm just teasing you Ryochan. Ryoga: Oh. There's the restaurant. Keichan: No Ryochan, that's a doghouse. Ryoga(embarressed): Uh... sorry. Keichan: Don't worry, I'll tell you when we get there. Ryoga: Okay. The two walk together for awhile. In the shadows, Shampoo-neko was stalking her prey, sort of. Shampoo-neko(to self, in chinese): Keidanko seems to be acting slightly different. I just hope he doesn't think Ranma's cute. Keichan: Ryochan? Ryoga: Yes? Keichan: Could you stop being Akane-chan's pet? Ryoga(to self): So, he remembers (aloud) Why? Keichan: I like you and wouldn't want Akane around you to much. Ryoga: Jealous? Keichan: Yes. Ryoga: Oh (to self) He seems different now. (aloud) Do you remember anything about the past few days? Keichan: Um... not really, it's all hazy. Anyway, we're getting off the subject. Ryoga: Huh? Keichan: Will you stop being P-chan? Ryoga: I'll thing about it. Keichan: Okay. Oh, here's the restaurant. The couple enter the restaurant. Out of the shadows, Shampoo-neko emerges. Shampoo-neko(to self, in chinese): They don't seem to be doing anything non-innocent, yet. Shampoo-neko the sits down and gets ready to wait a good while. [Meanwhile, the Tendo Dojo.] Cologne has arrived with her truth potion. Ukyo, Ranma-chan, and Akane-kun have finished explaining what happened to Cologne. Cologne: Let me get this straight. You two... She points at Ranma-chan and Akane-kun. Cologne: Are stuck in your cursed form. Keidanko thinks he's a girl and is out with Ryoga. Ukyo: In a nutshell, yeah. Ranma-chan: Keidanko's the only one who can reverse it. Akane-kun: We sent Shampoo to watch them. Cologne: Good, what is the truth potion for? Ranma-chan: It's for Mousse. Mousse(angrily): Mmrf rfr mrfrr! Mousse is gagged and tied in a corner. Akane-kun: He, Ryoga, and someone else attacked Ranma. Cologne: Hmm... a team attack. What happened? Ukyo: The new guy was focused on Ranchan. When the two idiots saw Akane walk up behind him, they split. Akane then sent the new guy into LEO. Cologne: So, you wish to know who it was. Ranma-chan: Yeah. Cologne the ungags Mousse and shoves the potion into his mouth. He swallows a good amount. Ranma-chan: Who was with you when you attacked me? Mousse(emotionless): Ryoga and Keidanko. Everyone: Gasp! Akane-kun(disbelieving): Why? Mousse(emotionless): To protect Akane. Ukyo: Huh? Ranma-chan: What do you mean? Mousse(emotionless): He said Ranma treated Akane like trash, he insults her, hurts her feelings, and makes her angry. Ukyo: Was trapping Ranchan and Akane your next plan? Mousse(emotionless): No. Our next plan was for Keidanko to steal Akane's, Shampoo's, Kodachi's, and Ukyo's panties dressed up like Ranma, then place them in Ranma's room. Cologne: Happosai's helping you too, right? Mousse(emotionless): Yes. Everyone facefaults. Ranma-chan: So Ryoga and the old freak and you are helpin' Keidanko? Mousse(emotionless): Yes. Akane-kun: Gag him. Ranma-chan: With pleasure. Ranma-chan stuffs the gag back into Mousse's mouth as he was say something about the meaning of life. Ranma-chan: So, what do we do now? Ukyo: Shouldn't we go after Happosai? Akane-kun: Then we wait for Keidanko. Ukyo: Doesn't he still think he's a girl? Akane-kun: We'll do the same thing we did with Ranma. Ranma-chan: Hit him in the head with your mallet? Akane-kun: Exactly! Cologne: Then what do you expect to do with him? Ranma-chan: I'm gonna beat the crap outta him! Akane-kun(sarcastic): Great plan Ranma. Ranma-chan(happy): Ain't it? Ukyo and Akane-kun: Ranma no baka. Ranma-chan: What? [Le Pomme de Terra] The couple, Ryoga and Keichan, were seated at a table. A waitress is leaving them to retrieve their orders. Keichan: Ryochan, why do you hate Ranma so much? Ryoga: He's the source of most of my problems in life. Keichan: He's not that bad. Ryoga(to self): Keidanko speaking nice of Ranma? This I have to hear. (aloud) What's so good about him? Keichan: He's skilled in the Art. Ryoga: So? Keichan: He really doesn't want to hurt anyone. Ryoga: Yeah right! Keichan: If he did then he would've told Akane-chan about your curse and would've told his fiancees who he loved. Ryoga: Okay, a point to Ranma. Keichan: And I believe Ranma and Akane like each other. Ryoga: Ha! That's a joke! Their waitress returned with their food. They started eating while continueing their conversation. Keichan: I guess you've never seen the look they give each other. Ryoga(hurt): Yes, I've seen it. The look. That's one of the reasons I hate him. Keichan: Ryochan.... A thin black aura of depression surrounds Ryoga. Ryoga: I never stood a chance, Ranma won before we even fought. The aura becomes stronger. Keichan: Ryochan..... I'll help through this. Ryoga: Oh, okay. The powerful black aura disappeared. Keichan placed her fork down on her plate. Ryoga followed suit. Keichan: Well, I'm full. Are you ready to go? Ryoga: Yeah. You go outside, I'll pay. Keichan leaves. Ryoga takes the check and pays the bill. Ryoga then leaves, after wandering into the kitchen. [Outside Le Pomme de Terra] Ryoga: What do you want to do now? Keichan: Let's go see a movie. [Tendo Dojo, living room.] Hekaru: So, Keidanko attacked you Ranma? Ranma-chan: Yeah. Soun: He thinks he's a girl. Akane-kun: Yeah dad. Genma: The master and that boy were involved. Ukyo: Ryoga too. Cologne: Ryoga and Keidanko are out on a date. Hekaru: Nani? My son is out with another boy? Akane-kun: Hai. Ukyo: We got the hentai and Mousse tied up. Genma: Oh. The phone rings. Soun answers. Soun: Hello? Keichan(phone): Uncle Soun? Soun: Oh, hello Keidanko. Keichan(phone): Call me Keichan Uncle Soun. Soun: Yes, Keichan. What do you want? Keichan(phone): Ryochan and I are going to watch a movie together. Soun: Who's Ryochan? Keichan(phone): Ryoga. Soun: Okay. We were hoping you would come home so we could talk to you. Keichan(phone): Oh, I'll see if Ryo.... Oh no! Ryochan wandered off! Soun: Oh. Well come home as soon as possible. Keichan(phone): Okay. Bye! Soun: Goodbye. Soun hangs up the phone. Hekaru: What's going on? Soun: Keidanko is coming home. Akane-kun: It sounded like he had other plans. Soun: He did, until Ryoga wandered off. Ranma-chan: Trust P-chan to get lost during a date. There's a knock at the door. Ranma-chan: I'll get it. Ranma-chan opens the door. Ryoga is standing there pulling out some money. Ryoga: I would like two tickets for..... Ranma-chan: Ryoga! Ryoga: Ranma? When did you start working at the cinema? Akane-kun walks up. Akane-kun: Ryoga? Ryoga: Akane? You work here too? Ranma-chan: Baka. Yer at the dojo. Ryoga: Damn! Keidanko's gonna be upset. Akane-kun: He's coming back. Ryoga: Oh, I'll wait for him here. Ranma-chan(evil grin): Sure! Ranma-chan let's Ryoga in. Ranma-chan, Akane-kun, and Ryoga walk into the living room. Ryoga sees Mousse and Happosai tied up and Cologne, Soun, Genma, Ukyo, Hekaru, and Nabiki are sitting around the room. Ryoga(nervous): What's going on? Cologne: We've figured out your plan. Ryoga gulps. Ranma-chan: Cooperate and I won't tell Akane your secret. Ryoga: You wouldn't Ranma-chan: I would if my life is threatened. Oh, Akane's alot stronger now... she could easily turn you into a street okonomiyaki. Akane-kun: Ranma! Ryoga: Grrr... fine! Ranma-chan: Sit still and let us tie you up. Ryoga sits in a chair near Mousse and Happosai. Akane-kun and Ranma-chan tie hem up. Ryoga: How'd you find out? Hekaru: Mousse changed in front of Ranma. Ryoga: Oh, Mousse no baka. Ukyo: We all agree. Mousse: Mr frr nrfr fr nrr r! Hekaru: Shaddup baka! Ranma-chan: Now we wait. 10 minutes later. Keichan enters the house. Keichan: I'm home! Keichan walks into the living room. She sees Ryoga, Mousse, and Happosai tied up. Keichan: Ryochan! She runs up and starts untying Ryoga. A dark shadow walks up behind Keichan. She looks behind herself and then has a look of horror, similar to Ranma's in this situation. Akane-kun: KEIDANKO NO BAKA!!!!!! *WHAM!!* Akane-kun removes the mallet from Keidanko-chan's head. Ranma-chan: Let's tie him up. 15 minutes later. Keidanko recovers consciousness. Keidanko: Ite. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Ranma-chan: Or the equivalent of one. Akane-kun: Baka. Keidanko: Hey guys. Why am I tied up? Akane-kun: So you wouldn't thrash around. Keidanko: Good thing. I had this horrible dream where me and Ryoga were dating. Ranma-chan: That's not why we tied you up, and it wasn't a dream. Keidanko pales. Keidanko: Huh? Akane-kun: You went out with Ryoga. Ranma-chan: You called him Ryochan. Akane-kun: You kissed him Keidanko pales more. Keidanko: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Ryoga: Geez, you two make me sound like a monster. Keidanko: Ryoga you bastard! How dare you take advantage of me in an unstable state! I'm gonna...... why the hell am I wearing a dress?! Akane-kun: My dress.... Ranma-chan: You borrowed it from Akane. Ranma-chan splashes just Keidanko with cold water. Keidanko-chan: Why'd you do that!? Ranma-chan: So we could try and save Akane's dress. Keidanko-chan: Is that why me and Ryoga tied up? 'Cause we went out? Akane-kun: No! Ranma-chan: We found out about your plan. Keidanko-chan: I thought Nabiki explained the stuff as each other thing to you. Everyone facefaults. Akane-kun: Baka! We're talking about your plans with Ryoga, Mousse, and Happosai! Keidanko-chan pales. Ranma-chan: Now, I'm gonna kick yer ass! Ryoga gets an idea. Ryoga: Hang on Ranma. Ranma-chan: Why? Ryoga: Just hang on! Ranma-chan: Okay, P-chan, this better be good. Ryoga: It is. Keidanko, do you remember what happened on the date? Keidanko-chan: The hour of hell? Yeah, I do. Ryoga: Okay, Ranma? Are we alone, save Happosai and Mousse? Ranma-chan: Yeah, Mr. Tendo, Pops, Nabiki, Kasumi, and Hekaru are in their rooms. Cologne, Shampoo, and Ucchan went home. Ryoga: Good. What I have to say is for our ears, save Happosai and Mousse. But the chance of you letting them go is like a snowball's chance in hell. Akane-kun: Yeah. Ryoga: Keidanko, at the restaurant you convinced me the Ranma has some good points. And you also showed me that he.... Keidanko-chan: Shut up! I wasn't right in the head! Ryoga: No. It is all true. I accepted it, you should too. Keidanko-chan: Ha! Do you see all the things he does to her? How could anyone like Saotome Ranma love Akane? Akane-kun and Ranma-chan: Nani? Ryoga: You're in denial, which is how I would have acted if you didn't convince me. They're in love with each other. Keidanko-chan: It's not true!! Ranma-chan(to self): Ryoga's the last person I thought would say that. Akane-kun: How do you know if we feel that way?! Ryoga: Ask Ranma... he's being awfully quiet, ne? Ranma-chan: Huh? Ryoga: Ranma, on your honor, do you love Akane? Keidanko-chan: Ha! He'll never say it because he doesn't! Ranma-chan: I... uh... Ryoga: Tell the truth Ranma. Keidanko-chan: I don't see why you are doing this, if he did say yes you have nothing to gain. Ryoga: I want to hear it from Ranma's mouth. I want to hear it's over. The fight for Akane's love. Ranma-chan: ..... Akane............. I... l-l-love you. Keidanko-chan: NANI?!?! Akane-kun(crying softly): Ranma... I love you too! Akane-kun hugs Ranma-chan. Ryoga is trying hard not to cry, failing. Keidanko-chan sits slumped over with a dazed look on her face. Keidanko-chan's ki shifts slightly. Ranma-chan: Huh? Keidanko-chan: Mmmmm... what's goin' on? Akane-kun: What do you mean? Keidanko-chan: I mean who are you, why am I tied up, why do I have a headache, and why am I wearing a dress? Ryoga: What do you remember? Keidanko-chan: I remember being attacked by a two foot dwarf. Everyone glares at Happosai. Ranma-chan then rips the gag out of Happosai's mouth. Ranma-chan: Why'd ya do it, old freak. Happosai: To show you who the true master of Anything Goes is! Ryoga: How'd you do it? Happosai: A pressure point that makes a person become overly protective of a person. Akane-kun: HAPPOSAI NO BAKA!!! *WHAM!!* Happosai then gets sent into LEO. Keidanko-chan: So... what's going on? 30 minutes later. Mousse left and Keidanko unsealed Ranma and Akane. In their appropriate bodies, Ranma, Akane, and Ryoga explained everything the him. Keidanko: I attacked you? Ranma: Yeah. Keidanko(nervous): I... uh... sorry 'bout that. Akane: It's okay. You helped us realize our true feelings. Ryoga(uncomfortable): We need to do damage control. Ranma: I'll tell Ucchan and the Amazons, if Mousse didn't. Akane: I'll take the family. Ranma left and Akane went upstairs. Ryoga: So, what do we do? Keidanko: Wanna spar? Ryoga: Sure. Keidanko and Ryoga head to the dojo. Akane bring the rest of the Tendo household downstairs. Hekaru: So, hentai-sensei was controlling Keidanko? That explains why he was being nice to the baka. Nabiki: Yeah, it does. Kasumi: I'll prepare some tea. Kasumi enters the kitchen while a wet Ranma-chan enters the dojo. Akane(sarcastic): You get splashed? Ranma-chan(also sarcastic): Was it that obvious? (normal) You tell 'em everything? Akane: Everything but Ryoga's revelation. And you? Ranma-chan: Ucchan and the Amazons are set to maim. *Splash!* Soun: That was from outside. Everyone heads outside. They see Keidanko standing near the koi pond. A wet P-chan is coming out of it. Akane: P-chan! Keidanko: P-chan? Ranma: Don't bother. Keidanko: Okay. P-chan: Bwee! Hekaru: It's getting late. Soun: Yes, let's drink our tea and go to sleep. Keidanko: Yeah, it's been a rough two hours of consciousness. Nabiki: For everyone else, a rough day. Everyone heads in. The End Author's notes: Oh man, I didn't think the story would be this long! I humbly thank you for reading this fanfic, and would request that you tell your friends about it if you liked it. I appreciate comments, constructive criticism, and suggestions. If your comments are things like "you suck", then bad things'll happen to you. If you would like to be a proofreader for me (I really need them!) then e-mail me at Kukan Knight@aol.com. I'll tell you the names and descriptions of Keidanko's attacks. The Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba translates into the Dragon Anger Spit, Keidanko developed it to use his short lived hatred for Ranma to power it. Like the Moko Takabisha, the Hiryu Rippuku Tsuba is an altered form of the Shi Shi Hokodan. The Fenikkusu Tada Hisho translates into the Phoenix Free Flight. Keidanko channels his ki into his bokken (or sword) and launches a blade of ki. This attack is Keidanko's first ki blast and his most practiced. My next story'll go and take something from Keidanko's undeveloped past. The story'll be called The Frozen Void. Arigato for reading this, sayonara! The son of the Author's notes: Hey, nice ta see you again. I just want everyone who read this to know that I updated The Frozen Void first and I'm renaming Awakening of Power to Nekoken Muyo, and it still involves the Tenchi Muyo group. This update, I just corrected spelling and grammar and I changed a few scenes slightly. Oh, on an ending note, I'm still desperate for proof readers,and I still welcome comments, as long as they aren't "you suck". I hope you enjoyed the story and sayonara.