"I’m Walking Away" Ranma 1/2 The Return of Shangri-La Lee By Aislinn J. Lujan {A festival in a far away place. Venders are selling everything from food to toys to jewelry. A figure is seen near the Jewelry Cart. A hand is picking up the merchandise; a soft female voice seems to be asking about every individual piece, annoying the vendor. The figure then opens a purse and seems to have come to a decision} Voice: Okay, I think I will take this one and that one and that one and that one and...{hands the formerly irritated vendor some money} I think I will just take the whole rack and save you the trouble. May I have a bag to put these all in? Vender:(No longer annoyed and very eager to help now) Yes ma’am! {You can see from the hair to the bottom lashes of the person that the voice belongs to} Voice: (thinking) Nani will sure be surprised. {Tendo dojo. It is raining very hard. Ranma and Akane are arguing, as usual} {Cut to the kitchen where the Saotomes and the Tendos are sitting at the table, except for Ranma and Akane who are (Surprise, surprise) arguing} Akane: Ranma no Baka! Ranma: Kawaiikune Tomboy! {The two families look on wearily as the two are screaming, and try to ignore Akane as she chases Ranma with her mallet} {There is a knock at the door} Kasumi:(almost relieved by the distraction) I’ll get it! {Kasumi goes to the door. In the doorway is a girl. She has a rainbow colored parasol. She is wearing a jacket with a hood, long pants, and a pair of long boots} Girl: Hello, is this the Tendo residence? Kasumi: Yes, it is. Girl: May I come in out of the rain? Kasumi: Of course, make yourself at home. {The girl comes in. She removes the hood to reveal a mahogany head of hair, styled tightly into many tiny braids. Her eyes are hazel. In the background, Ranma and Akane are still running around, Akane trying to clock Ranma with the mallet, Ranma trying to escape} Kasumi: (Loudly, a bit irritated that a guest had to come and see this going on) Akane, Ranma! Quit that! We have a guest! {Ranma and Akane freeze, Akane is about to K.O. Ranma. Both seemed shocked that Kasumi had spoken as loudly as she did} Girl:(Giggling, doesn’t seem at all uncomfortable) That’s quite all right. This was always the most active household in Nerima. (Smiles brightly) {Akane and Ranma seem to recognize the individual in front of them. They aren’t sure from where, however.} Girl:(to Akane) Nani! Don’t tell me that you don’t recognize me! After all we’ve been through, I would be totally insulted if you didn’t remember me. Akane:(trying very hard to remember)Ummmm? Girl:(Taking pity on Akane. Singsong) Lollypop, Lollypop, oh Lolly, Lolly, Lolly... Akane:(Joining in, this is familiar to her) Lollypop, Lollypop, oh Lolly, Lolly, Lolly... Girl and Akane:(Together) Lollypop, Lollypop, oh Lolly, Lolly, Lolly... LOLLYPOP! {Both girls put their index finger into their mouths, palms out and take it out, producing a popping sound} {Ranma looks at these two girls as if they just landed from the mother ship} Ranma: Okay... Akane:(Apparently forgetting what Ranma did to make her mad) Ranma, this is my childhood friend, Lee Shangri-La. Lolly, this is my ... umm... Ranma:(Slightly irritated that Akane is having a hard time saying the word) Fiancé... Akane:(slightly perturbed to hear the irritation in Ranma’s voice) Fiancé, Ranma. Shangri-La:(extends her right hand to Ranma) Pleased to meet you, Ranma. (Thoughtfully) Have you ever heard of deja vu? Ranma:(Puzzled) Huh? Shangri-La: A feeling that we meet before? Ranma:(Now that she mentions it) Yeah, but I couldn’t begin to say where. Shangri-La: Hey, don’t worry; it’ll come to one of us sooner or later. (Turns to Akane) Wow! Fiancé! (Whispers) And he’s cute, too. Akane:(Blushing deeply), Yeah, well... {Shangri-La sees that this make Akane feel uncomfortable, and decide to change the subject} Shangri-La:(to Kasumi) MMMM, Kasumi, what smells so good? Kasumi:(Sensitive to the situation and helping Shangri-La to change the subject) Beef teriyaki. Are you hungry? Shangri-La: Starving. Lead me unto thy good food, oh great Kasumi of the apron. {The group laughs and goes to the Dining table} {Everyone is kneeling at the dining table. Nodoka and Kasumi are clearing off dishes, and Nabiki and Soun are calmly finishing off their bowls, while Akane stares, as Genma and Ranma both reach out with their chopsticks for the last piece of teriyaki beef. Their chopsticks bump into each other, then quickly turns into a couple of blurs, as Genma and Ranma start battling over the piece. The parrying comes to a quick end as Shangri-La calmly grabs the last piece of beef.} Ranma and Genma:(when they find out that she snagged the last piece) HEY! Shangri-La:(grinning broadly) If it's worth fighting for...it's worth fighting dirty for. Murphy’s Law. {Everyone on the table except for Ranma and Genma start laughing. Then even Ranma starts laughing, leaving Genma to sulk. Ranma bows to Shangri-La, as if she had won a match} Genma:(Thinking) That girl looks familiar, but I don’t know where I’ve seen her before. Shangri-La:(Smiling, then looks thoughtful) Akane, do you still have the piano? Akane:(Smiles) Sure, but we can’t take it out until the rain is over. Shangri-La:(Snaps fingers, and sighs) Then I will just have to settle for the radio, huh? Akane: Looks like. Shangri-La:(Turns on radio, an oldie station is on playing a Louis Prima and Keely Smith song; sings to it) I 'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go, People know the part I'm playin'. Pay for every dance, sellin' each romance, Ooohh what they're sayin'. There will come a day, when youth will pass away, What will they say about me? When the end comes I know, there was just a gigolo Life goes on without me. I 'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go, People know the part I'm playin'. Pay for every dance, sellin' each romance, Ooohh what they're sayin'. There will come a day, when youth will pass away, What will they say about me? When the end comes I know, there was just a gigolo Life goes on without me. I ain't got nobody, nobody, cares for me, Nobody, nobody, cares for me. I'm so sad and lonely, sad and lonely, sad and lonely Won't some sweet mama come and take a chance with me? Cause I ain't so bad... {Everyone seems entertained by the performance} {Akane’s Bedroom. The two girls are talking and laughing about old times Finally, Akane and Shangri-La are silent and seem a little sad. It seems that the time for laughter is over and now Akane asks the serious questions} Akane:(not meeting Shangri-La’s eyes) Why didn’t you write me these last few years? You haven’t written me since... Shangri-La:(interrupting, also not meeting her friend’s eye) Since we were ten. Akane: Yeah, why didn’t you? Shangri-La:(Slightly irritated, not as in annoyed, but as if hurt) You try survival at such a young age and see if you have any bloody time to write. Akane:(Angry) Well, no baka, no one told you to run away. You could have stayed and faced your problems, you coward! Shangri-La:(Angry, too) Like you did! Akane:(yelling) What do you mean by that?! Shangri-La:(looking defeated and sad) Akane...I’m sorry. Please, I don’t want to fight with you. You are my best friend, or you were once, at any rate. You stayed and made friends, and even got yourself a kawaii fiancé. {Akane blushes} As of right now, all I have is you. Please let me keep that much. {Shangri-La looks as if she is on the verge of tears. She will not let them fall, because she is too proud} Akane:(softer) Okay. I’m sorry. {The two girls hug, and then turn in for the night, P-chan between them} {Morning in the Tendo house. Shangri-La wakes up, dressed in her pajamas, and goes to the kitchen for some grub. She looks outside, and does a double take} Shangri-La: Huh? (Thinking) Okay, need coffee. {We soon see what she was looking at. Near the koi pond is a wet panda.} {She grabs a can of coffee, and then we hear a feminine shriek. A sopping wet Ranma-onna is wringing out her shirt, top less, as usual} Shangri-La:(thinking) Lots of caffeine. A ton. {Kasumi comes in. She is humming a cheerful tune.} Shangri-La:(looking at Kasumi, as if to confirm or deny what she saw) Ahhh Kasumi? Kasumi: Yes, Shang-chan? Shangri-La: Did you guys adopt an exotic pet while I was gone? Kasumi: Nope. Shangri-La:(Thinking) Okay, I have been on the road too long. Maybe I lost what little sanity I have left. (Speaks) Okay, Kasumi-chan, what do you see outside? Kasumi:(looking outside, unfazed by what she sees) Mr. Saotome and Ranma. Shangri-La:(Looking out, not seeing the two people in question, worried that she maybe is crazy) Uhhhh..... Kasumi:(taking pity on the poor girl) They fell into cursed springs on a training mission in China. Shangri-La:(relieved that there is an explanation for the sight she saw, and thinking about what Kasumi said about the springs, seeming to recall them) Hmmmm, I see. (Sips here coffee thoughtfully) {The street outside of the Tendo Household. Three people are running out of the house in this order: Ranma, Akane, and Shangri-La. Shangri-La is wearing a cream-colored blouse and a pair of light blue baggy pants, and a pair of dark black boots. Akane is wearing her school uniform, and Ranma is wearing his typical clothing, a red Chinese shirt and a pair of black pants. Ranma starts off on the ground, but then he jumps up on the wall and starts walking the walls} Shangri-La:(seemingly impressed by this feat) Whoa! Awesome. Akane:(Disgustedly) He’s only doing that to show off. Please don’t encourage him. Shangri-La:(a mischievous smile on her face, ignoring Akane) I think that I would like to try that. Ranma:(A little worried that Shangri-La might get hurt) I’m not sure if... {Shangri-La walks the wall, but not like Ranma; she actually walks up the side of the wall, completely defying the laws of gravity} Ranma:(Continues, but sees her doing this completely impossible stunt and is amazed. His speech is faltering a bit) That...is...such...a...good...idea. NANI?! {Shangri-La is now in front of Ranma, on top of the wall. Akane and Ranma look at her like as if she just ... well... just defied the laws of gravity and physics. Shangri-La looks up to the skies, looking as if heaven would punish her for taking such liberties. At just that moment, Kunou arrives, angry that "that cur, Ranma", is walking Akane to school again, proof perhaps that divine retribution asserts itself in ordinary events.} Kunou:(Yelling and brandishing that wooden bokken) Ranma you cur... Ranma:(Muttering) Here we go again... {Ranma jumps from the wall onto Kunou’s face, then leaps down to the ground. Shangri-La jumps down, too, though not on Kunou’s face. She does land in front of him. He sees her, and she studies the foot shaped bruise on his face} Kunou:(looks at the newest member of the group; thinking, which is a first for him) Another beauteous maiden, and she is obviously in love with me, or she would not study me so. Shangri-La:(Thinking) Poor moron. I feel kind of sorry for him. Kunou:(Glomping onto Shangri-La) I have decided, fair maiden, that you shall have me! {In an amazing move, Shangri-La has taken Kunou, and bounced him on the ground like a basketball} Shangri-La:(a kick for every word or two she says) And...who...the hell...asked...(at this final word, punts him) YOU! {Kunou is now flying the friendly skies, courtesy of Shangri-La Airlines. Ranma and Akane facefault, then start laughing} {Lunchtime at Furinkan High. Shangri-La is thinking while eating her lunch} Shangri-La:(Thinking) Cursed springs, cursed springs. Hmmm, that couldn’t have possibly been the same...Of course! What a fool I was not to think of it before! {Nighttime at the Tendo house. All is quiet, until...} Akane:(yelling) Ranma no baka! {Ranma is sailing through the air, heading towards the koi pond. Splash. Genma-Panda holds up a sign that has a 10. Kasumi holds up a sign that says 10. Nabiki hold a sign that says 9.5. Shangri-La shakes her head, and walks to the pond, towel in hand.} Shangri-La:(Dryly [pardon the punJ]) On the plus side, you have a 29.5 from the judges. Ranma-onna:(trying to make an excuse for being a girl, walking out of the pond) Hi. Ummm...I’m Ranko. Shangri-La: Come on, I was born at night, not last night, Ranma. Ranma:(Relieved that s/he doesn’t have to explain his changing) Okay, how did you know? Shangri-La:(she’s hiding something) Ummm, I know a few people who visited the springs. Ranma-onna:(Not in a mood to decipher if Shangri-La is lying) Okay. Shangri-La:(smirking) Plus, I wasn’t born with a hole in my head. Ranma-onna: Why’s she gotta do that, anyhow? I was just trying to keep the old hentai from her room. Shangri-La: What old hentai? Ranma-onna: Happosai. {Flashback; Shangri-La is walking into a room. She sees Viagra, panties, bras and other things. She face faults, then walks out, only to see a little black blur enter the room. } Voice: My silky Darlings! {Shangri-La shakes her head, shrugs her shoulders, and strolls out of the hallway. End flashback.} Shangri-La: Okay, then the old hentai should be landing right about... {On cue, the old hentai, pervert, what ever you will, lands in the koi pond} Shangri-La: Now. {Happosai grumbles, and runs out of the pond, perhaps to visit his "silky darlings", who won’t put up as much of a fight.} Ranma: Why’s Akane gotta be like that? Always beating me up. It ain’t fair. It just ain’t fair. Shangri-La:(muttering, half to herself, half to Ranma) She’s always been too tough, short-tempered and stubborn for her own good. Something has to be done about it. {Ranma goes inside, grabbing the towel from Shangri-La and going for a warm bath. The family goes inside, and Shangri-La starts to form a plan, a mix of mischief and deep thought on her face.} Shangri-La:(Think of Jim Carey’s "sly" face) And I think I know how. {Akane wakes up, and walks around the house for some breakfast. The usual morning scene, Genma-Panda has dunked Ranma into the koi pond. Ranma-onna resurfaces. Akane sees a note on a table. She picks it up and reads it.} Shangri-La:(voice, not in person) Dear Nani, I am going of to get some things together .I will be back in two weeks, so don’t worry. The time will past quickly. Heck, you waited about 12 years for my return. What’s a couple of weeks between friends? Peace, love and katana-proof marshmallows, Shangri-La. Thus ends the first chapter of the Shangri-La Lee (or for those of you in Japan, Lee Shangri-La) Series. If you like it, let me knowJ. If you don’t like it, blame it on Jose. He got me interested in Ranma, against my will. I tried to fight him, Dammit, I really did! J/K Have a nice Day J. "Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage." - Woody Allen.