Subject: [FFML-R] [Ranma][FanFic] Best Match
From: "Ginrai" <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2001 06:07:15 -0400

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Best Match
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
by Ginrai

C&C appreciated - [email-masked]

Disclaimer:  Ranma 1/2 and its characters are property of Rumiko
Takahashi.

--------------------------------------------

It was a joyous atmosphere inside the Tendou residence.  And
considering the occasion, it was not too surprising at the level of
euphoria inside.

Upstairs in the room of the youngest daughter, though, was a completely
different story.

Three girls... Correction, three very annoyed girls were locked inside,
their legs having been chained to prevent movement as well as their
wrists being chained behind their backs, which were then connected in
such a way so that their backs were facing each other in a triangular
formation.

If another were inside, they would have accused the girls of being
perverted in some nature.  Then again, once the girls were free of
their bonds, said person would no longer be able to function in the
same manner as before.

"Well, Shampoo," Ukyou said in a monotonous tone, "that's some mess
your potion has gotten us into."

"Just _how_ were you able to create such a potion?" Akane asked,
annoyed at being locked in her own room.  She was curious as to where
Shampoo got such a concoction and why the Amazon never used it before.

"Shampoo get formula from Amazon Book of Contrived Potions.  Great-
Grandmother hide book and only recently able to find it," the lavender-
haired girl replied in as a graceful manner as possible without
screaming out the injustice of it all and trying to rip free of the
chains around her wrists and legs.  Having already tried that before,
she realized the consequences of such actions, especially with regards
to her wrist.

If Ukyou had access to her spatula, she would have grabbed it and
flattened the Amazon.  As it was, she couldn't even see her rival so
instead had to visualize the girl being in front of her, which caused
the chef to scowl right away.  "And just _why_ did you even consider
using One Minute Eternal Love?" she growled, her attempt at hiding her
anger having not been successful.  "Why not use something safer like...
Passion Spice?"

"Ukyou's right," Akane added, "At least it certainly wouldn't have
resulted in this debacle."

Hearing what the others had to say, Shampoo laughed out loud, amused at
their 'simpler' plan.  "Spatula Girl stupider than Shampoo thought if
she think _that_ would work.  And Pervert Girl probably want Shampoo to
use Passion Spice."

Having stopped laughing, the Amazon continued, "Book say that Passion
Spice have low low chance of working way it supposed to.  Reading
description, Shampoo think something bad would happen if it used.  Like
Ranma accidentally sleeping with Pervert Girl and then killing himself
for making biggest mistake in life."

This statement caused Akane's anger to flare up as she tried to turn
around and tell Shampoo what she thought of that.  Which resulted in
the short-haired girl pulling on the chains around her wrist,
tightening the chains around the wrists of the other two girls, which
then began to pinch, eliciting cries of pain and annoyance.

"Akane!" Ukyou screamed in pain, "Damn it, you knew what pulling on the
chains would do!"  And in retaliation, the brown-haired chef pulled on
her own chains, instantly causing the other two to grimace in pain.

"Shampoo no like getting hurt twice!" the Amazon shouted, gritting her
teeth as she pulled.  Hard.

Instantly Ukyou's smug look changed into that of one in excruciating
pain.

But before the okonomiyaki chef could retaliate in any sort of way,
Akane, who by the second jolt of pain calmed down, said, "Stop!  We're
not getting anywhere doing this."

Reluctantly, the other two tied-up girls agreed.

Giving a sigh, Shampoo continued.  "One Minute Eternal Love have high
success rate and was useful to Shampoo.  So Shampoo use it.  And it
would have worked if Spatula Girl didn't hit Ranma..."

"I was aiming for you!" Ukyou protested.

"As Shampoo was saying, it would have worked if Spatula Girl didn't hit
Ranma into Shampoo's chest.  Shampoo no mind having Airen in there but
first need him to see Shampoo before minute up.  Then Pervert Girl hit
Ranma away into _her_."

"Don't start blaming me for this!" Akane retorted, angry that Shampoo
would even try to act innocent in this situation.  "It was _your_ idea
to even use that potion!"

"Shampoo only use it to give Airen a little push to best choice.  And
if Pervert Girl and Spatula Girl no try fight Shampoo, might have been
able to stop Airen before he go too too far into it."

Akane could only shudder as she remembered what they saw after their
fight was stopped.  Well, it had to stop after hearing _those_ noises
as they could only watch with mouth and eyes agape.

Worse for her, she had to experience this _every_ day afterwards.
Those loud squeals, which were a result of Ranma's different 'styles.'
And furthermore, the fact that it almost always took place right above
her room!

This went on until finally the raven-haired Tendou daughter couldn't
take it anymore and tried to put an end to this 'forbidden love.'
Unfortunately, this went about as well as Shampoo's plan and as a
result, ended with all three girls locked in her room until the events
downstairs conclude.

<At least Shampoo's great-grandmother was able to make things a bit
easier to handle.  Well, as far as Ranma marrying someone else goes,
that is.  No more of those noises at least.>

That thought gave Akane another question that needed to be answered.

"Shampoo, just _why_ did your great-grandmother agree to this?  Just
what would she be getting out of it?"

"Ranma agree to become honorary Amazon and so Great-Grandmother say
Shampoo no longer have to worry about her honor."

After a moment of silently contemplating what Shampoo said, Ukyou felt
a need to ask Akane a question of her own.

"Say, Akane, just _why_ did your father and Ranma's parents agree to
this?  I always thought they wanted you and Ranchan to be together."

Right away both girls felt a dark aura emitting from Akane.  Ukyou
wondered if it was such a great idea to have asked her that question.

"They found a loophole in the agreement to unite the schools," Akane
muttered.  "That is all I'm going to say."

Seeing that no one else was talking, Ukyou decided to say something to
get their attention.  "We can't just sit around here and let what's
going on downstairs to continue, right?"  Hearing half-hearted replies
of 'no,' she went on.  "So let's do something about it!"

To the surprise of Akane and Shampoo, they heard the sound of one
jumping up onto their feet.  Suddenly inspired, they too jumped up onto
their feet.  For the first time ever, they were working together as a
team.  United by one goal in mind.  A scene that most Nerimans would
have said to be as likely as Ranma marrying a guy.

The plan itself was so simple that the girls wondered why they didn't
think of it before.

"Okay, now hop forward."

"No, Akane, wrong way!"

"Shampoo, the other way!"

They soon found out why.

"Spatula Girl stupid!  Jump this way!"

"That's it!  You can go your own way.  I'm going my way!"

"No, no!  Don't!!"

But it was far too late as the joint efforts of Akane going one way,
Shampoo another and Ukyou one completely different from the other two
caused them all fall down, Akane face-first while the other two fell on
their sides, right on top of the short-haired girl.

They found out rather fast that it's quite hard to do anything when in
said position.

***

Downstairs, the joyous occasion that the others were participating in
was about to reach the big moment.

Nodoka started to wipe the tears from hears.  Such a beautiful moment.
And what a nice-looking girl, too.  Certainly better than how it was
before, though she still had to do something about that tongue sticking
out now and then.  It was nice that her son finally made a choice.  Now
she could start thinking of all those grandchildren her son would
beget.  Such a nice thought, indeed.

Soun and Genma were already making plans for the future of their
schools of martial arts.  Finally the schools were united and all
thanks to an act of kindness by Kasumi when she was a child.  Who knew
that saving animals could reap such fortune later on in life?  Good
fortune was certainly on their side.

And in the center of it all was the soon to be married Ranma Saotome.
Life was finally getting good for the martial artist.  He was about to
marry the one he truly loved and there would be no interruptions.
Hearing a thump coming from what seemed to be upstairs, he just smiled
and nodded his head.  Yup, no interruptions at all.

And to the side of Ranma was his lucky bride.  It was certainly
different seeing all these people from this perspective.  Ever since
that kind old lady splashed her with that strange water.  And with the
amount of food she now got.  Instinctively eyeing the table with the
cake, her tongue automatically stuck out as she began to pant a bit.
Then remembering what her master said, she stopped and brought back her
tongue inside.  Even though he did act weird every now and then,
something about 'doggy style,' which she might one day understand, it
was all worth it to get the food.  Life for Bess Saotome was definitely
looking up.

***

"You just _had_ to hit Ranma towards the dog next door, didn't you,
Akane?" Ukyou groaned in pain.

--------------------------------------------

This is the result of being too bored when I have more than enough
schoolwork to do.

Have not been able to write much of what I've started on lately.  So I
instead decided to write this shortfic.

No, I don't know what I was thinking when this was written.

Thanks to Brian Randall for pre-reading this fic.  You can send your
condolences to [email-masked]

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