From: "Ginrai" <ranmafics@hotmail.com>
To: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Subject: [FFML] [Ranma][FanFic][Lime] Sizing Things Up
Date: Thu, 23 Nov 2000 23:48:37 -0500
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Sizing Things Up
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
by Ginrai

C&C appreciated - ranmafics@hotmail.com

Disclaimer:  Ranma 1/2 and its characters are property of Rumiko 
Takahashi.

Warning:  The following was written during a period of temporary 
insanity.

--------------------------------------------

Ranma was feeling great.  He had finally married Akane without any 
problems occurring.  Some of the others were feeling bad, but not bad 
enough to try and stop it.  Right now, though, he had other things to 
think of.

He and Akane were in their hotel rooms and, hopefully, for the next few 
hours there would be only one thing that both would be thinking of.  He 
had already finished undressing and saw his wife slowly undressing.  He 
then noticed that she had suddenly stopped and was staring down at him.

"Akane, why did you stop?" he asked.

Akane was still staring down before she finally walked towards Ranma 
and slapped him.  "How could you?!  Don't you find me attractive at 
all?"  Akane was on the verge of tears.

"Of course I find you attractive.  Why do you think I married you?" 
Ranma replied.

"Then... why is it so small?  I thought it would react in some way if 
you saw me."  Having said that, Akane blushed a bit.

For a moment Ranma didn't understand what she was trying to say.  When 
he finally did, he also blushed.  "Umm... it is reacting.  Why couldn't 
you notice that?"  He then realized what she said earlier.  "Small?!  
What do you mean by that?  I'll have you know that this is rather big."

"Maybe for a ten year old it is."

Ranma was stunned.  "How so?  I know for a fact that I'm bigger than my 
father."

"So that's why Auntie Saotome allowed your father to leave for ten 
years of training."  Sighing, she continued "Ranma, I'm no longer in 
the mood.  Maybe sometime later.  For now let's enjoy other things that 
this area provides."

And so for the rest of the honeymoon they enjoyed the beach nearby and 
the beautiful scene that the hotel room provided.

***

Ranma was confused.  Ever since the first day of the honeymoon Akane 
would avoid any topic about sex.  She would always give some sort of 
lame excuse like that he is too small for her to feel anything.  
Whatever that meant.  <I don't know what she's talking about.  The 
other girls would think that I'm manly enough for them.>  With that in 
mind he decided to go and ask the other girls.

***

Ranma decided to first go see Kodachi.  <Better of that I ask her 
first.> he thought as he walked up to her.

Upon seeing him, Kodachi was ecstatic.  "Ranma-sama!  So you found out 
that the wicked Tendou girl wasn't worth your love!  I knew you would 
come to your senses soon."

"Actually I...."  Seeing that he couldn't say anything, Ranma decided 
to get it over with and dropped his pants.

Kodachi stared for a few minutes after which she got angry.  "That 
witch!  How dare she defiles you as such!  I'll show her no mercy!"

"Kodachi, Akane had nothing to do with this."  Kodachi, though, wasn't 
paying any attention as she was continuing the list of things she would 
do to Akane.  <At least it can't get any worse.>

That was when Kunou came in.  "Sister, what is this about the lovely 
Akane..."  Anything else that he would have said was cut off as he saw 
who it was with their pants off.  "Pig-tailed girl!" he shouted as he 
ran to hug him.  "I know that your heart must be broken because of what 
Saotome did, but why turn towards other girls when you have me?"

"Kunou, let go of me!" Ranma screamed in a voice not similar to that of 
the pig-tailed girls.

At first Kunou was stunned.  But then he realized what must have 
happened.  "So, Saotome, it seems that your sorcery with the girls came 
with a price.  I always knew that I'm twice the man you are."

Ranma decided that it would be best to leave while Kodachi was beating 
up her brother.

***

Before Shampoo could glomp him, Ranma got to the point and dropped his 
pants.  This confused Shampoo.  "Why Airen come see Shampoo in girl 
form?"

"I'm not a girl right now," Ranma mumbled, almost tempted to scream it 
out loud.

"Shampoo see.  Akane not womanly enough for Airen so you come see 
Shampoo, yes?" she asked, feeling rather giddy.

"Not really.  Shampoo, I have this problem and.."  Ranma pointed down.

"Shampoo see.  Airen too too small so need Shampoo's help?"  Seeing 
Ranma nod, she put her hands around his waist.  "Airen no worry.  
Shampoo know old Amazon technique to fix this," she said in a rather 
seductive voice.

"Saotome, how dare you try to seduce Shampoo!" Mousse screamed as he 
ran into the room armed with every weapon he could find.  All the 
weapons were dropped once he saw Ranma.  After which he ran to Shampoo 
and hugged her.  "See Shampoo, I'm more manly than Ranma would ever be!  
Now that you know how big he is let's get marr..."  Anything else that 
he would have said was stopped as he was punched into LEO by Shampoo.

"Stupid Mousse, Shampoo no marry you even if hundred times as big as 
Airen."

Ranma left right away seeing that if Mousse could overhear what was 
happening, then Cologne could also.  And if anything did happen between 
him and Shampoo, they would be on the next boat to China.

***

<Good old Ucchan,> Ranma thought quite happily, <She'll give me some 
words of encouragement.>  With that he went inside Ucchan's.

"Ranchan!" Ukyou said with tone that seemed harsher than it should be 
and a smile that seemed rather forced, "Where is your wife?"

"She's not with me at the moment.  Ucchan, can we go to your room?  I 
need to ask you something important."

Ukyou didn't know whether to be happy or angry with what Ranma said.  
She, instead, decided to wait and hear what he wanted to ask.  Maybe it 
could be amusing.

Once in her room, Ranma went up to her to ask the all-important 
question.  "Ucchan, what do you think of this?"  Then, for the third 
time in the day, he dropped his pants.

For a moment Ukyou looked like she could kill.  Then, feeling defeated, 
she began to cry.  "Ranchan, why?  I already accepted that you married 
her.  Why do you have to torture me by showing how much you don't like 
me?"

Ranma tried to remember what he was going to say before Ukyou could cry 
anymore.  It was depressing him.  "No, Ucchan.  It's not like that.  
This is as large as it usually gets."

Carefully looking at it and thinking what Ranma just said, Ukyou's 
cries soon became laughter.

"Thanks, Ucchan, I _really_ needed that." Ranma said in a sarcastic 
tone.

"Sorry, Ranchan, but you did come her for some sort of opinion.  
Though, knowing you, it was for some way to inflate your ego.  After 
which you'll probably run back to your wife, leaving me alone again."  
Saying this Ukyou had the urge to grab her spatula and bash him.

Before she could do anything, Konatsu barged into the room.  "What are 
you trying to do to Ukyou-sam..."  When he saw Ranma, Konatsu's 
expression became sad and it looked like he was about to cry.  "So, 
another guy is closer to being a woman than I'll ever be."  As tears 
slowly started to fall, he looked up and screamed, "Why did the gods 
have to curse me with _THIS_?!"  Konatsu then dropped his pants to show 
everyone his 'curse'.

Upon seeing it, Ukyou turned her head away from Konatsu, her face 
crimson from all the blushing.  Ranma, on the other hand, began to 
twitch slightly.

***

<*Sigh* I guess it'll be another day without anything special 
happening.>  With that depressing thought, Ranma walked into the 
bedroom shared by him and his wife.

"Ranma, I was looking all over for you!" Akane shouted at her husband, 
though she did seem to look happy.

"Why?  It's not like we were going to do anything."

"Actually, today I felt that maybe we could.."  Akane started to blush.  
"I mean, we never did do it and I have such an urge to do so."

Ranma didn't care what the reason was.  Just as long as they were going 
to do something.  "Great!  When do we start?"

Akane took a glass of cold water and splashed him with it.

"What was that for?!" screamed Ranma-chan.

"Here," Akane said as she handed her an object.  "It'll allow for more 
pleasure.  It's even double-sided so you can have fun."

Ranma-chan just stared at the object given to her and then looked back 
at Akane, whose face was getting redder by the second.  She then 
shrugged.  <Oh well.  As long as I'll be getting some.>  With that in 
mind she started to undress for the big moment.

--------------------------------------------

One of these days I'll look back at this and feel ashamed for having 
written it.  Yes, one of these days.


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