Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] Boy Nights: Prologue

From: Kyle Emmerson <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2000 10:53:40 -0700

Boy Nights

By Kyle Emmerson

    Ranma 1/2 and all of its characters and situations are
the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi. I use
these characters and situations without permission.

Note: This idea was actually envisioned not by me, but by Ammadeau
(http://www.thekeep.org/~amm/fanfiction.htm) who graciously allowed me to
borrow the idea and work it into a full sized story. Also, apologies to
Kenko for the title... It was not meant as a rip-off, but it just seemed
to fit the situation. :P

Prologue: Men Don't Wear Skirts?

****

	"Hello! Welcome to Ucchan's, I'm Konatsu, your waitress! May I show
you to your seat?"

	Ukyou poured some batter on to the grill as Konatsu led another guest
to their table. Konatsu had been a wise investment, and all it really took
was to give him room and board. Cheaper than actually paying him, by far.

	"So, how does a cute girl such as yourself get by all these strange
men hitting on you?" the man who Konatsu led to the new table asked.

	Ukyou rolled her eyes. One of THOSE people. If only they knew the
truth. Still, keeping it unknown was better for business. If it ever got
out publicly that Konatsu wasn't a she, her business would go downhill so
fast she couldn't even shake a stick at another okonomiyaki so long as she
lived.

	"Oh," Konatsu giggled. "I get by. I'm straight, so once I tell them
that, they leave me alone for a little while."

	The man blinked in surprise. "Err, yeah. I'm straight too."

	Ukyou had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud. This was a
common occurrence, and either Konatsu enjoyed seeing them squirm, or he
really was that naive.

	"Oh, really?" Konatsu asked. "You'd be surprised how many gay men
there are in Nerima. I'd swear there are at least ten men who try to hit
on me every day!"

	Ukyou bit down on her lip even harder. Don't laugh, she told herself.
Just... don't laugh.

	The man looked back up at Konatsu and raised an eyebrow in obvious
confusion. "Err," he began.

	"Oh!" Konatsu said bringing his hand up to his mouth. "Right, I forgot
to take your order! What can I bring for you?"

	"Uhh... Pork Okonomiyaki, please," he said, still in a state of
confusion.

	"Right!" Konatsu smiled happily and bounced over to Ukyou.

	"Miss Ukyou, he ordered a Pork Okonomiyaki. Will that be okay?"

	"That's fine, Konatsu," Ukyou said, throwing a few pieces of pork on
to the okonomiyaki she was cooking. "Hey, Konatsu?"

	"Miss Ukyou?" Konatsu shot back, meeting Ukyou's gaze.

	"Do you... enjoy doing that?"

	"Doing what?" Konatsu asked.

	"You know," Ukyou said, motioning towards the man seated at the table,
who was currently very animated, obviously trying to work out what Konastu
had said to him within his mind. "Playing with their heads."

	"Miss Ukyou?" Konatsu asked again, cocking his head. "I'm not sure I
know what you mean."

	Naive. Yup. Definitely naive.

	"Well, they don't know you're... err... not a girl," Ukyou whispered.

	"They don't? How could they not, though, Miss Ukyou? Isn't it
blatantly obvious?" Konatsu asked. Somehow, with the little black and
white waitresses uniform, and the frilly apron around his waste, the
question has about as much meaning as a solar powered flashlight.

	"Well, it... err... it IS sort of hard to tell," Ukyou said, keeping
her voice down. Boy is that the understatement of the year, she thought.

	Konatsu looked down at himself. "Well, how more obvious can I be?"

	Ukyou sighed as she flipped the okonomiyaki on to a plate. "Here, for
the newcomer," she said. "And there are a few things that might help."

	Konatsu brought the plate over to the man and laid it down on the
table. He looked as though he were about to say-- or ask something, but
shied away just before saying anything. Konatsu hadn't noticed, however,
and was already on his way back to Ukyou.

	"Like what, Miss Ukyou?" he asked.

	Ukyou scanned Konatsu's ensemble and sighed. "Well," she began. "You
could start with pants."

	Konatsu paled. "Pants? But... they're so... constricting! I only wear
pants when I'm covert!"

	"Well, either way... Konatsu, men don't wear skirts, or dresses."

	"Not true! Yohachi Iwamoto wears a dress!" Konatsu said, poking his
finger into the air to make a point.

	Yohachi Iwamoto? Who the hell-- oh, right. Ukyou boggled for a moment
before answering. "Konatsu, Yohachi Iwamoto is a gay transvestite that
lives in a love hotel downtown. You are a straight man, who happened to be
raised as a woman. He dresses like that because it gets him... err..."
Ukyou blushed a bit. "Excited. You dress like that because you're
comfortable."

	"It's true, though! I am comfortable!"

	"That's besides the point, Konatsu," Ukyou said, pouring more batter
on to the grill. "You are a man. A straight man. How do you ever expect to
get a girlfriend if you don't dress like one?"

	Konatsu blinked for a moment, and then leaned in towards Ukyou. "Men
don't wear skirts?"

	Ukyou would have facefaulted if she wasn't so shocked. "You're joking,
right?"

	Konatsu just stared back.

	"No, I guess you wouldn't be." Ukyou sighed. She should have realized
the Tea House Ninjas who had taken Konatsu in never showed him how a real
man dressed, so Konatsu must have naturally assumed that any type of
clothing was unisex. "No, Konatsu, men do not wear dresses."

	Konatsu pouted. "But... it's so comfortable."

	Ukyou shrugged. "It's up to you if you want to wear it or not,
Konatsu. In fact, I prefer that you would, during the day. We've never had
better business since you came along."

	Konatsu smiled a bit. "Thank you, Miss Ukyou!" he said, and then
started to bounce away to the other customers. After a moment, he paused
and turned back to Ukyou.

	"Konatsu?" Ukyou asked, wondering why he turned around.

	"Miss Ukyou?" Konatsu began. "I wonder if... You might teach me to
dress like a man does?"

	Ukyou boggled. He was asking HER to teach him how to dress like a man?
That was...

	A challenge. An interesting challenge to say the least, and quite fun,
too.

	Yes, she could teach him how to be a man. It would be easy! Ukyou was
a man for ten years, and she knew enough of the basics!

	But realistically, with Konatsu, just dressing him as one wouldn't
make much difference. Ukyou would literally have to mold him into a man.

	Ukyou let a small smile grow from the corner of her lips as Konatsu
returned with another two guests, who he seated at a nearby table. As
Konatsu approached her once more, Ukyou said, "Sure thing, Konatsu. I'd be
happy to."

****
------------------------- 
|     The TydRipper     |  "Tyd, you need a smaller
|                       |  .sig. :-)"
| Master of the Tides,  |    - Gary Kleppe, FFiRC
| Devourer of noodles,  |  
| Writer of Ranma Fics, |
| Baka to the end...    |
-------------------------  

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~ The TydRipper

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