Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] Divinity: Chapter Ten

From: Kyle Emmerson <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 28 May 2000 21:24:30 -0700

Divinity

      By Kyle Emmerson

    Ranma 1/2 and all of its characters and situations are
the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi. I use
these characters and situations without permission.

	Chapter Ten: The Unusual Suspects

****

	Ryouga sat in the dark, compact room unsure of himself. His only
company, a large wall mirror, the door, and the dim sun lamp above him.

	Then there was the man. The man who had been in the room for little
more than twenty minutes, questioning him. Ryouga tried his best to
maintain eye contact, but it was harder than it seemed. The man was very
intimidating.

	Inspector Osamu Iwazaki took a drag from his cigarette and leaned back
in his chair.

	"Okay, Hibiki... Once more, from the top," he said, blowing smoke in
Ryouga's face.

	Ryouga coughed. "You know," he began. "You won't have healthy babies
if you smoke too much." He winced immediately after saying it. It didn't
have the effect he had intended it to. Sighing, he decided he'd be better
off if he cut down on the anime.

	The Inspector raised an eyebrow. "I care, kid. Just answer the
questions."

	Ryouga sighed. "I told you everything."

	"Oh, sure. You teamed up with two teenage girls--"

	"They're actually guys!!"

	"Fine, you teamed up with two girls, who are actually both guys, who
work for a top secret organization called MERV. Jeez kid... questionable
company you keep... What's this MERV stand for, anyway?"

	Ryouga blinked. "Well... uhh.."

	"Thought so. So tell me, kid. Was it before or after you met them that
you piloted the giant robot?"

	"Umm... There wasn't any giant robot."

	The Inspector stood up and stared at the ceiling. "All right, kid.
Start it again."

	"I've already told you--"

	"Yeah, well I'm lookin' for holes, kid. Humour me."

	Ryouga sighed and adjusted his seat. "I had just gotten home when I
got the call..."

****

	"Ryouga?" the voice on the other end spoke. It didn't take Ryouga an
inordinate amount of time to place the voice to a face-- or a name, for
that matter.

	"Aizen?" he replied. While the voice represented everything he wanted
in a girl, he knew it was too good to be true. After all, Aizen was really
a guy.

	Still, she made a pretty convincing girl!

	"Hey, listen. Saotome and I need your help on something..." she
trailed off.

	"Saotome? Which one?"

	"Takao. Ranko. Whatever you want to call her."

	"Him," Ryouga corrected.

	"Whatever. Look, what would you say to a short mission, starting
tomorrow after school?"

	Ryouga blinked. This soon?

	"Well... Uhhh... What about Akane?" he asked.

	"You're grasping for straws, Ryouga. And yes, we've already got Akane
in on this. She's going to keep Ranma busy while--"

	"Her? But I'm his friend!"

	"Yeah, but we really need a guy for this mission."

	"What about Ranko? err... Takao?" Ryouga stammered. "Isn't he--"

	"She's got her own duties in the mission that actually require her to
be a girl, Ryouga."

	"So he's... she's... DAMMIT, this is confusing."

	"Look, Ryouga. We need your help," Aizen begged. "Can't you help us?"

	Ryouga sighed. "I... What do you need me for?" he asked, resignedly.

****

	"So you agreed to this... mission?"

	Ryouga nodded. "It was supposed to be straightforward. I was briefed
about all of it the next day. Apparently there was this... mentally
disturbed girl who was holding a very important antique artifact--"

	"The urn?"

	Ryouga nodded. "Yeah, that's it. They told me all I needed to know. I
didn't really think much of it, because it was Kuno's sister, right? And I
know they have all sorts of old stuff in there. The traps I thought were
kinda weirded out, but it's what they told me. So I took their word for
it."

	"All right. Skip to after school. The beginning of your so-called
mission."

****

	"Coast clear?" Aizen asked.

	Ranko looked down from the top of the wall and nodded. "Servants look
to be in the west wing," she said. "Nothing out of the ordinary here." She
looked down at Ryouga. "How's your jumping style?"

	Ryouga blinked for a moment, then tried, rather unsuccessfully to hop
to the top of the stone wall. He clung to the top of the wall tightly, and
slowly began to slip back down.

	Ranko snickered and reached a hand down to pull him up.

	"You stay up here," she told Aizen. "Me an' Ryouga might be able to
handle the traps, but it might be tricky for you."

	Aizen nodded. The last thing she need to do was die.

	"I'll be waiting."

	"Wait!" Ryouga exclaimed. "What about the fancy Hi-tech communications
equipment?"

	"Huh?" Ranko asked.

	Aizen put a finger to her chin. "Well... we're under budget."

	"What?"

	"Under budget. That's why we're on this mission. We can't afford all
the fancy shmancy equipment. Especially after the... uhh... Disguises."

	"Can we go while Kuno's still out? It's bad enough Kodachi's here."

	Ryouga blinked at Ranko. He'd never met Kodachi, personally. He had
only heard that she was good at gymnastics, and often beat Furinkan from
her own school, Saint Hebereke.

	"Yeah," Ryouga said. "This B and E stuff doesn't exactly make me feel
kosher. Can we just get this over with?"

	Ranko nodded. "We ready?"

	Ryouga nodded.

	"I'll see you guys in a few," Aizen said, waving.

****

	"Under budget?" Osamu laughed. "You've got to be joking."

	"Hey, after what I saw the day before, I wasn't about to ask
questions!"

	"A top secret government organization after a small piece of pottery,
that just happens to be under budget? Come on, kid. What do you take me
for?"

	"Well, I thought there was something fishy at the time, but it wasn't
until later that things went wrong."

****

	Ryouga made his way into the side door behind Ranko silently. She was
already at the corner of the wall, looking over.

	She looked back to him and put her finger to her mouth. A moment
later, she waved him over.

	Ryouga silently nodded and tip-toed over to her, and looked around the
corner.

	"That would be Kodachi," she said, pointing down the hallway at a
long-haired girl dressed in a nice dress. He's seen Akane's sister,
Kasumi, dressed much the same before. 

	Ryouga blinked. She hardly looked disturbed to him. In fact, she
looked rather pleasant. She bounced happily around the kitchen, mixed some
batter, bounced back to the sink, rinsed her hands.

	"She doesn't look so dangerous," Ryouga whispered.

	Ranko nearly coughed. "Are you joking? She's probably got her leotard
on under that thing, and what she's doing in there... She's probably
concocting some kind of dangerous poison."

	Ryouga blinked. If the girl he was watching was capable of that-- he'd
hate to see Kasumi's other side.

	Suddenly, a loud crash was heard from the direction of the front
gates, along with some frantic yelling. Not only did it distract the
attention of Kodachi, but Ryouga and Ranko as well.

	"Oi!" someone cried from behind them. "What the devil are you doing
here?!"

	Ranko and Ryouga froze up immediately. Slowly, they turned to face the
man who had caught them. It was an older man, he was quite slender.

	"Answer me!" he said.

	"Err... I... uhh," Ryouga stammered.

	Ranko immediately launched into her 'Cute girl' routine. "Oh, excuse
me sir!" she exclaimed, bouncing. "We just got lost and-- OH LOOK OUT
BEHIND YOU! THERE'S A CROCODILE ONE THE LOOSE!"

	As the man quickly turned to look behind him, Ranko and Ryouga made
their escape. By grabbing Ryouga's hand, Ranko made her way to the nearest
door and locked herself behind it.

****

	"A crocodile?"

	"Yeah, he... she... whatever it is, said that this Kodachi chick had a
pet crocodile."

	Osamu raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

	He nodded. "Sounded kinda weird to me, but then, nothings ever been
normal since I met those two."

	The Inspector wrote a few notes down on a piece of paper. "Go on," he
said.

	"Well, once we got in behind that door--"

****

	"Ooh! Visitors!"

	Ranko froze up immediately after hearing the voice. Ryouga turned to
face it.

	"Hello!" the girl smiled. "I'm Kodachi, but you can call me Kochi!"

	"Uhh... um... I'm... uhh.. Ryouga," he stammered.

	Ranko slowly turned to face her, her eyes wide.

	The girl merely blinked and looked towards Ranko. "My, that's a very
pretty pigtail," she said.

	"Uhh... Kodachi?" she blinked.

	"Do I know you?"

	Ranko blinked in surprise. This did not seem like Kodachi. Not in the
LEAST.

	But how--

	"Would you like some cookies? I just finished baking them!"

	Ranko twitched. "Uhh, no thanks."

	"All right!" Kodachi smiled. "But you'll be missing out on the best
cookies ever!"

	"I'll.. uhh.. take my chances," Ranko said.

	Ryouga looked toward Ranko with an apprehensive look. "Hey, shouldn't
we... like... run?" he whispered.

	"Oh dear, I wonder what that loud noise was," Kodachi said. "I think
I'll go see what happened!" With that, she left.

	"You know," Ranko said. "There's something... I guess our.. uhh...
intel was wrong."

	"What?"

	Ranko shook her head. "Don't matter," she said. "Let's go find that
urn."

****

	"She hardly seems the violent type, Hibiki," Osamu said.

	"Yeah, well... Bad intel can do that."

	"Anyway. You made it into the Dojo, and then what?"

	"That's when the little freak showed up," Ryouga growled.

	"And this would be," Osamu began as he flipped through a few files.
"The kid, Kire. Right?"

	Ryouga nodded. "Little freak jumped out at us, starting rattling off
stuff about nasty rituals and bringing about the Armageddon."

****

	"Oh, where the HELL are we now?" Ranko exclaimed, clenching her fists.

	Ryouga blinked. "Isn't that my line?"

	Ranko glared at him for a moment, then walked to a door on the side of
the hall and pushed it open.

	Both of them stood, aghast.

	"What the hell is this?"

	The room reminded the both of them of the Tendo Dojo, except... on a
much larger scale.

	The ceiling was almost as tall as a three story building, and the
walls were at least sixty feet apart. Several training dummies were lined
up against one wall, and a large shrine boasted several bladed weapons,
and a few wooden ones.

	But against the far wall were three pictures.

	Three LARGE pictures.

	"Now how did he get a picture of Aizen so quickly?" Ranko wondered
aloud.

	"The Aizen and Akane pictures I can understand," Ryouga said. "It's
the picture of He-man that scares me."

	Suddenly, a shrill scream was heard from behind them, and a midget
burst through the door and ran past them.

	It rolled to a stop, and then stood up.

	"Are they still after-- YOU!"

	Ranko blinked. "Me?"

	"YOU!" the boy exclaimed. "I know what you're up to, you evil
cultist!"

	Ranko jumped in surprise. "Hey! Who are you calling a cultist?"

	"I'm on to your dark rituals, girl!" He looked over to Ryouga. "Et tu?
Betraying your entire race?!"

	"Ummm..." Ryouga began. "What does Et tu mean?"

	"You'll never get away with this-- Oh dear!" he suddenly broke into a
run.

	The rumbling noise was subtle at first, but as soon as the kid took
off like the wind, it was completely audible. Ranko recognized the sound
easily and barely had enough time to grab Ryouga and follow in suit.

	Ryouga watched in confusion as he was pulled by the collar, dragging
along the ground.

	Of course, when the door broke down and something around the area of
twenty guards and servants burst through it, several carrying sharp,
pointy sticks... Well, even Ryouga had to pick up on what was happening
and get moving.

****

	"So you ran out of there as fast as you could?"

	Ryouga nodded. "We grabbed Aizen on the way out. She was shocked as
hell to see them chasing after us. That was when you guys picked up on
it."

	"And you ran to your friends.. Ranma and Akane?"

	"That was a freak accident, really."

****

	"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, SAOTOME?!" Aizen screamed, trying to keep up
with the rest of them.

	"Why don't you ask THIS little freak?!" Ranko booted the boy in front
of them for good measure.

	"Oi!" the boy exclaimed. "That hurt, you know!"

	"Good!" Ranko screamed.

	Aizen had trouble keeping up with them, but she did manage to get a
good look at the boy.

	"You look familiar," she muttered loud enough for him to hear.

	"I know your game, demon!" he exclaimed.

	Aizen blinked. "Demon?" she said to herself.

	Suddenly, something clicked in. Something that Aizen would have
noticed right off the bat-- if her heart hadn't been focused on something
else.

	"KIRE!" she shouted, twisting her face into a scowl. "You little
kitsune freak! It's YOUR fault I'm stuck down here!"

	Kire looked back at the suddenly-faster form of Aizen and decided it
was time to run faster.

	Ranko and Ryouga watched in mute fascination as they pulled out ahead
of the others.

	"Kire?" Ranko muttered. "Does she know him?"

	"Judging from the way she's hurting him," Ryouga stated. "I'd take a
shot at yes."

	The crowd behind them suddenly grew bigger and faster with the
addition of a couple police officers. The makeshift parade quickly pulled
into the shopping district.

	It wasn't until Kire stumbled into someone that it slowed.

	But it was also then that Aizen got twice as pissed.

	"MASA! YOU LITTLE FREAK!" she exclaimed, then proceeded to beat the
both of them to a bloody pulp.

	"Ranko? Aizen?" a female voice exclaimed. "What the hell?"

	Ranko looked over just in time to see Ranma and Akane running over.
Ranma was looking a little disheveled, and his clothes were soaked. But
from the look on both of their faces, they were more concerned with what
was going on with them. Although Ranma was a little... wobbly?

	"Oh, this is JUST what I need," she muttered to nobody in particular.

	A few moments later, the seven of them were fumbling over each other,
trying to get either an explanation, a route of escape, or a good shot.

	"Run, Masa! She's gone nutzoid!"

	"I'll KILL you bastards!"

	"Come on, we've gotta run!"

	"Oi, who's touching my ass?!"

	"Sorry, I thought it was mine!"

	"Kire! She's hurting me!"

	"*hic* How do I get myshelf INTO theesh thingsh?"

****

	Osamu wrote down the last piece of information down. "So that's it?
You're going to stick to that story?"

	Ryouga nodded. "It's all I know. As far as I know, it's the truth."

	With a sigh, Osamu stood up. "All right, then. Maybe I'll have better
luck with your friends."

	With that, he left the room and left Ryouga alone with his thoughts.

****

	Akane tapped her heel against the leg of the chair. She was in a small
white holding cell with a glass door.

	Aizen had helped her out so much the night before. Helped her pick the
right outfit, trained her in acting the right way.

	The truth was, besides the strange kid that constantly pestered them,
she had fun.

	A LOT of fun.

	Ranma was actually a very likable guy, once she got to know him.

	She was snapped from her reverie as she heard the lock twist on the
door, and a man walked in. He was tall, looked to be somewhere in his late
thirties and held a few files in his hand.

	"Miss Tendo?" he asked, smiling. "I'm Inspector Osamu Iwazaki."

	Akane stood up and bowed. She knew it was better to be nice to the
police and cooperate. Besides, Aizen HAD said to tell the truth before
they were separated, and Akane would do just that.

	"You can sit down, Akane. I'm not your sensei."

	Akane sat back down and waited for the man to lean against the wall.

	"So, Akane... It would appear as though you were in on... whatever it
was that went on."

	Akane looked down and nodded.

	"Care to share what happened?"

	She looked up at Osamu and sighed.

	"Well," she began. "It all started when we found out that Aizen and
Ranko were actually agents of a top secret organization called MERV."

	"You know what that stands for?" he asked.

	Akane shook her head.

	"Didn't think so."

	"They needed to keep Ranma busy while they borrowed Ryouga, so...
well, they wanted me to take him out on a date."

	"A date?"

	Akane blushed. "So, this morning at school--"

****

	Akane twiddled her thumbs impatiently as Ms. Hinako rattled off about
proverbs and nouns. Adjectives and conjunctive verbs.

	Needless to say, Akane found her attentions elsewhere.

	Namely on Ranma.

	She had promised Aizen she would do this, after all, it WAS an
important mission, and she WAS helping out.

	Her reputation aside, what could it hurt just to ask one boy on one
date?

	Kuno would be insanely jealous. So would the countless other boys who
fought for her affections.

	But she could protect him, if she needed. Even Takao... Ranko... was
good enough to stop any attempted attack on him. Besides, it wasn't like
she'd be going out with him again.

	She looked over at him.

	Well, unless it was a fun date.

	No. One date, that's it.

	She watched as he looked out the window absently.

	... Maybe two.

	The lunch bell went off, disrupting Ms. Hinako's speech. It didn't
take long for everyone to trample out.

	Ryouga, Ranko and Aizen were the last to wander out of the room,
leaving Akane alone with Ranma.

	Ranma fiddled through his desk for a few moments before closing it.
Akane nervously stood up and walked over to him.

	"Umm... Ranma?" she began, smiling.

	Ranma looked up in shock. "Err... yeah?"

	Akane fiddled with her fingers nervously. "You.. ahh... you eating
lunch?"

	Ranma nodded. "Sure. My mom made me some lunch."

	Akane closed her eyes. This was a challenge. A simple challenge, she
could overcome it easily.

	She opened her eyes and looked into his eyes. His deep,
all-encompassing eyes. His great complexion, the morning stubble on his
chin.

	"Oh God," she said, then moved back to her desk. She couldn't do it.
She just... couldn't!

	"Umm, Akane?" Ranma asked, coming up behind her. "Is something wrong?"

	Akane looked over at him and sighed. "Ranma... look, I... I wanted to
know..."

	Ranma suddenly began to feel nervous. She was stammering. Stammering
because she wanted to ask him something.

	He'd seen enough TV to know what that meant.

	"You're having trouble with your homework?" he asked innocently.

	Akane blinked in surprise. She looked at him and laughed.

	"What'd I say?"

	"No, silly," she smiled. "I.. Look, Ranma... Are you doing anything
after school?"

	"After... school? No, why?"

	"Would you like to... go do something with me?"

	Ranma's heart jumped into his stomach. Was he wrong, or did she just
ask him on a DATE?

	"Like... study?" he asked.

	Akane shook her head and looked down, blushing. "Actually.. I was
thinking more along the lines of... a date."

	Ranma coughed. She DID ask him out on a date!

	"SURE!" he exclaimed. "Err.. I mean, if you want to."

	Akane laughed. "Great!" she said. "I'll meet you after school!"

****

	"Great, so loverboy said yes. What next?"

	"Well, I told Aizen, and she was happy. Happier than I would have
expected. She lent me some money and told me to take him to dinner and a
movie."

	"And after school?"

	"Well, we went to the local diner, and--"

****

	"So..." Ranma began.

	"So..." Akane continued.

	The both of them looked each other in the eye and laughed.

	"What would you like to eat?" Akane asked.

	"I dunno," he said, then looked through the menu. "What about you?"

	Akane shrugged and followed his example. 

	A few minutes later, the waitress arrived to take their order. The
diner had a western theme, like that of a truck stop you'd find on a
lonely highway. In fact, it was authentic right down to the menu, and the
gum the waitress chewed on.

	"What can I getcha?" she asked between chews.

	Ranma looked through the menu. "I'll... err... have a cheeseburger--"

	"Ya want fries or salad with that, sweetie?"

	"Err... Fries."

	"Gravy?"

	Ranma blinked. "Sure."

	"Anything to drink?"

	"I... err... a cola?"

	"Sure thing, sweetie. And you, hon?"

	Akane shrugged. "I'll have what he's having. Except..." she scanned
the beverage section of the menu. "I'll have a root beer instead."

	The waitress nodded, then smiled. "I'll have that out to you in a few
minutes." With that, she walked away and left a piece of paper on the
counter next to the cashier, who passed it back to the cook.

	"Well, that was interesting," Ranma said.

	Akane nodded. "Different."

****

	"So when was it that you noticed the kid?"

	"Well, it was a few minutes later, after our drinks had arrived, but
before our dinner showed up," Akane said. "If I had known what he was up
to--"

	"All right, just go on."

****

	"Exthqueethe me thir, madam," The boy said, standing at Ranma and
Akane's table, holding a rather... unimpressive looking menu and paper
chefs hat. "Can I take your orderth?"

	Ranma blinked in confusion. "Err... We already had our orders taken,"
he said.

	The boy blinked. "Oh, no thir... That wath not our waiter! It wath an
impothter!"

	"Waitress," Akane corrected.

	"Yeah, and it had to have been," Ranma said. "Look, she brought out
drinks."

	The boy blinked, then dropped his menu. "Ahh, I give up!" he said,
then reached out for Akane's drink and knocked it over into her lap.

	"Hey!" Akane exclaimed, trying to wash the root beer from her school
uniform. "What did you do THAT for, you jerk?!"

	Ranma quickly ran over to grab some paper napkins. If he hadn't been
so busy trying to help clean Akane, he might have noticed the small vial
in the boys hands, with the white label, written in bold, black print -
'Esoob'.

	If Akane hasn't been so busy trying to control her rage in a public
place, both at the boys insolence, and at Ranma's eagerness to help wipe
down her lap-- thankfully she hadn't gotten anything spilled on her
chest-- she may have noticed that the boy was busily pouring the contents
of the aforementioned vial into Ranma's cola.

	After a short amount of time, Ranma realized exactly what he was
patting down with the paper napkins, and then backed off, to allow Akane
to go to the bathroom. The both of them looked around and saw the offender
nowhere in sight, then decided to shrug it off. If they didn't see him
again, it would be better.

****

	"Anyway, once I got in to the bathroom, I washed myself off. Then I
thought... well, Ranma was only trying to help dry me off. He didn't mean
anything, so--"

	"Ms. Tendo, no offense... But I'm not here to learn about your
personal life. Keep to what's relevant, please."

	Akane sighed. "Well... This is kind of relevant..."

	"Oh?"

	"While I was in the bathroom, thinking... I remembered seeing the kid
pour something into Ranma's drink. I was just kind of... overcome, I
didn't bring it up. But whatever it was-- it messed Ranma up... badly."

****

	Akane left the bathroom clean. Not as clean or dry as she had been
before she sat down to eat, but clean enough.

	So far, the date had been going well. Except for the spillage, but
then, they'd only just sat down to eat, and held a short conversation. Now
that things had calmed down, she could go back out and--

	"Oi! Hurry up with the bloody meal!"

	Akane frowned. She could hear the drunken slur on the edge of the
voice. Just what her evening needed. With a sigh, and a quick scan around
the diner to locate the little brat, or even the drunk, she sat down.

	"Hey, beautiful," Ranma smirked. "Wass cookin'? *hic*"

	Akane's jaw dropped open. She looked down at Ranma's cola, to see it
half-empty.

	Wait a second... The thing the kid poured in his drink... was it
booze?

	"Ranma... Are you drunk?"

	Ranma frowned. "Oi! I resent that implic... inclam... inplo... I ain't
drink!"

	Akane grabbed Ranma's drink. It was impossible for anyone to get drunk
that fast. Drugs, on the other hand... Akane sniffed the drink, and
immediately turned away. It smelled thick with alcohol... like a mixture
of rum, sake, vodka and whiskey. Of course, seeing as Akane had only ever
TRIED sake, she was taking a wild stab at the others.

	Still, nothing should have been able to make him that drunk, that
quickly...

	"'kane? *hic*" Ranma asked.

	"Ranma?"

	"Are you my mommy?"

****

	"He was drunker than an old man at a perverts convention when we
tested him. It's a wonder he was able to stand," Osamu said, checking his
papers.

	"He wasn't. I had to practically carry him out of the restaurant,
after I paid for the services and the food we managed to get."

	"What about this boy--"

	"We saw him when we left the diner, and I was about to get some
information out of him, when he was hit by some kind of stampede. The next
thing I knew, we were both caught in some kind of human dogpile."

	"That's when we picked you up, then..."

	Akane nodded.

	Osamu stood up and gathered his papers. "Okay, Ms. Tendo... I'll be
back in when I've finished with the others... Something funny is going on,
and I'm gonna find out what."

	Akane nodded at the man left the room. With a sigh, she leaned her
head back against the wall.

****

	Truth.

	Aizen had said to tell the truth.

	Oh well, here goes.

	"Look," Ranko began. "I don't expect ya to believe any of this, but
I'm not really a girl."

	"Could've fooled me," the inspector deadpanned.

	"I could prove it to you if you just bring in some hot water."

	"Oh, sure. Coming right up. You think I'm stupid? I know what you're
capable of," he said, motioning towards the pair of broken handcuffs lying
on the ground. "All you need is a distraction like that and you'll be all
over me."

	Ranko sighed. "It's a curse. Hot water will change me back into a
guy."

	"Whatever, kid. Just tell me what happened. Save the horseshit for
later."

	"I'm not even from this damn world!"

	"Then send my regards to Alf when you see him next. Now, the mansion?"

	"Look, that was all just to keep Ryouga away from the other Ranma."

	"Other Ranma? Did we miss somebody."

	"No, I'm Ranma too."

	"The others said you were Satohara. Ranko... or Takao, I'm still not
clear on that."

	"I'm both, actually. But I'm really Ranma Saotome."

	Osamu blinked. "You realize how much sense that makes, right?"

	"Look, I'm from an alternate world. I was brought here by Aizen!"

	"The girl in the other room?"

	"Yeah, only she's a he, too."

	"And I suppose Ms. Tendo is a man too?"

	"No, but Ryouga's a little black piglet!... At least in my world he
is."

	Osamu shook his head. "Let's hear it then, Satohara... Saotome..
Whatever you want to call yourself."

	Ranko started to explain. She explained it from the beginning, when
her father brought her to a place called Jusenkyo. She then went on to
explain things, rather briefly, of what happened between that time, and
when she first met the god, Aizen Myoo.

	From that point, she went in to full detail. She explained Aizen's
situation, why they've been misleading Ryouga and Akane, and even
everything up to the point of the mission in to the Kuno mansion.

	In fact, she even apologized, but quit literally blamed Aizen for the
whole thing.

	At the end of it all, Osamu stood up, rubbed his temples and left the
room.

****

	Ranma shook his head. All he did was enjoy a single date with a girl,
and he ended up in jail...

	However, that was what his sober mind was thinking... his conscious
mind was currently thinking about the merits of sticking his fingers into
the blades of the small electric fan to his left.

	The man walked into the cell unnoticed and snapped his fingers to
attract Ranma's attention. After a moment, Ranma looked up and pulled his
fingers away from the fan.

	"Mr. Saotome?" he asked, rubbing his head. It appeared as though he
was starting to get a headache.

	"Y..yesh?" Ranma asked.

	The man paused and sniffed the air. "Mr. Saotome... are you...
composed, yet?"

	Ranma hiccuped. "Compshed? 'Course I's complshed!"

	"Mr. Saotome, I believe--"

	"Hey, whatshu in for?" Ranma hiccuped out. "I dunno what I did, but
theesh copsh don't need reashons anymore. It'sh like... the Exsh-filesh or
shomething!"

	"Mr. Saotome, I'll be back in about an hour," Osamu said, then walked
out.

	"Okay, Mishter! See ya tomorrow! *hic*"

****

	"Well, it all started when Izanagi sent us on this secret mission,"
Kire began.

	"Tell him the part about saving the world."

	"I'm getting to that! Anyway, this Saotome guy and the Tendo chick are
apparently going to give birth to the harbinger of Armageddon."

	"That means the end of the world."

	"Hey, you wanna tell this story?"

	"Sorry, you go ahead."

	"Anyway, these other two are part of some evil cult--"

	"Yeah, like Cthulhu and stuff!"

	"Quiet! You wanna summon him here?"

	"Sorry, go ahead."

	"Anyway, if I hadn't interrupted their little ritual at that mansion,
they might have--

	"And the diner. Don't forget I had to fix things at the diner! It was
hell to get a hold of that esoob, 'member? Izanagi raised up a HUGE stink
about getting a hold of his stash."

	"Esoob?" Osamu asked.

	"Yeah, sure... you know, the booze of the god's. Makes any mortal
completely piss drunk with only a drop!" Masa said, thinking. 

	After a nod, Kire continued. "Oh yeah. Anyway, they might have
summoned Mr. Tentacle himself here! The world would turn into a low-grade
hentai."

	"Trust me, you DON'T wanna meet him."

	"Yeah. Big teeth, bad breath."

	"And cocky as hell!"

	"Anyway, we--... Inspector?... Inspector?"

	"Where'd he go?"

	"Dunno. Hey, remember that time we Melvined Yog-Sothoth?"

	"That was a riot! He was on a rampage for weeks!"

	"Too bad about that small village he ate, though."

	"Ahh, he just can't take a joke!"

****

	"Now, Aizen--"

	"Inspector Iwazaki?" Aizen smiled.

	Osamu paused in contemplation. She knew his name? Probably one of the
other officers told her. He dismissed it without another thought.

	"Now, you said your name was Aizen?"

	"That's right," she said. "Aizen Myoo."

	Osamu blinked. "Like the God, right?"

	"Exactly!" she beamed.

	"Well, let's hear your side of things..."

	"Sure! By the way, how's Mika?"

	Osamu blinked. How did she know his wife's name?

	"Do I know you?" he asked.

	"I'm hurt, Osamu! You don't remember who set you and your wife up?"

	Osamu narrowed his eyes. "You couldn't have been any older than three
when I met my wife," he said.

	"I'm a lot older than I look, Inspector." She winked. "Besides, how
else would I know about the honeymoon on Honshu?"

	Osamu narrowed his eyes. "I don't like the way you're going, kid."

	"Fine. What about the alley in Shinjuku?"

	Osamu blinked. "What alley in Shinjuku?"

	"Her name was Midori, wasn't it? Oh, and of course, who could forget
Yuki on the business trip to Kyoto? But then, there's always your
secretary, Rin. How many years now? Six? Seven?"

	Osamu slammed his fist down. "Who are you?"

	"Don't forget, Osamu," she said, smirking. She tapped a finger at her
temple. "Aizen Myoo knows all."

	"I... You..."

	"I know Ms. Kuno hasn't pressed any charges. You're only keeping us
here because you think we're lying. Regardless, Osamu, I would really hate
for your wife to find out--"

	"You wouldn't."

	Aizen simply twisted her lips into a smile. "Wouldn't I?"

	Osamu stood up. "Fine," he said. "Let me... do the paperwork, and I'll
let everyone go."

	"One more thing," she asked.

	"What?"

	"Frick and Frack?"

	"You mean the two weird kids in the next cell?"

	She nodded.

	"I want you to give them a message."

****

	WOW.

	I actually wrote it.

	I _REALLY_ actually wrote it.

	After a several month hiatus, I've written more Divinity! I'm so
happy! ^_^

	Of course, no accounting for writing quality... *shrug*

	Actually, I got the idea from this chapter from the cover of 'The
Usual Suspects', and I imagined the Divinity cast in the line-up. Needless
to say, it all flowed from there.
------------------------- 
|     The TydRipper     |  "Tyd, you need a smaller
|                       |  .sig. :-)"
| Master of the Tides,  |    - Gary Kleppe, FFiRC
| Devourer of noodles,  |  
| Writer of Ranma Fics, |
| Baka to the end...    |
-------------------------  

Questions? Comments? Flames? Email Me.

~ The TydRipper

http://www.nabiki.com/tydi-oh-ki <--- Regularly updated site!
[email-masked] <--- My usual e-mail.
I also keep some of my stuff archives on Sofaspud's Couch at
http://www.sofaspud.org/
http://www.nabiki.com/gokami <--- Another of my many projects...
[This Space for Rent]

-- 
                 .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---.
                 | Administrators - [email-masked] |
                 | Unsubscribing - [email-masked] |
                 |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject    |
                 `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'