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「左様なら」

A
『セイバー マリオネット J』
FANFIC BY

Gillian von Kármann[婦ォン火ァ婁魔ンヽヂーリアン]

{
a.k.a.:
Mársia Máriner,
Bloodberry,
Luchs,
Mistress 9,
Asuka Langley,
Asagiri Priss,
Fujimiya Kaede,
Lyta Alexander;
.
}

<vonkarmann@yahoo.com>


 

During the last five months, some not-so-little changes had been slowly taking place --- and twenty days ago they finally began to show on Cherry's face(and life). She was getting so tired... tired of waiting for a suitable response from Otaru to her love. Two hours before the end of that morning, for a change, his lovely marionettes and his very annoying neighbour, Hanagata, had contended for his attention, once more; however, very exceptionally, --- too unexpectedly, Cherry did not take part in it. She **did not want** to take part in it. Frankly, why would she do it? Why should she keep on playing that stupid, silly, useless, and senseless, game? What was it all for? Otaru didn't even notice that she, Cherry, had been absent from the last of their frequent, almost daily, quarrels... Yet if it was Lime who... Fucking hell! --- It didn't matter how often Otaru kept telling himself and his marionettes that he liked all the three of them equally. That was a lie. It had always been so evident that Lime was his favorite one... and --- or rather, probably --- his *only* one.

Twenty days ago, Cherry stopped day-dreaming about the marriage of Otaru-sama and herself. She began to face this --- harsh --- fact: if Otaru-sama ever decided to marry her, she wouldn't be his only wife. From that moment on, she had been trying to convince herself that, sooner or later, she would get used to being just one among his mates, that one day she would accept to live within that possible reality... but she didn't succeed. However... would she? No. 『I wish so much that Otaru-sama wanted to be only mine!... But he never will be... And I don't know yet which one would be worse: to keep living without ever possessing him, or to have to share him with Lime and Bloodberry! --- Well, I guess I would stand sharing his loving with them, IF I were his favorite marionette... but I am sure I will never be his favorite one. --- Megami-sama, damn it! Why do I have to love Otaru-sama that much? Why the hell do I have to want him so much? Why things can't be different? Why things can't be less bad than they are?』 --- Cherry had been complaining thus lately, hundreds of times each day...

On the night of the day before, Otaru had dreamed the same dream he had on the day he found Lime at the Japoness Pioneer Museum. On the morning of the day after, he would clearly understand the meaning of that repetition... the dream was the same, but the premonition it meant just could not be other thing than a... farewell.

Well, at least Bloodberry *did* notice that there sure should be something quite wrong with Cherry. Lime and Otaru had just left for the market square, and then she entered the kitchen, talking thus:

► 「Cherry!... You're looking sooooo sad! Your face is looking like... *crap*... What the devil is wrong with you today? You know what,... to tell you the truth, Cherry, you haven't felt that down-and-out since」

► 「Since the day Otaru-sama kissed Luchs in the mouth?」 --- Cherry completed.

Bloodberry did hate to be reminded of that extremely disgusting moment of her life.

► 「Hai!... That's it!...」 --- she grumbled. And then, suddenly, she didn't know what to speak next.

► 「Bloodberry... wait a minute.」

Cherry walked to their bed-room. But Bloodberry didn't want to wait. She followed the other marionette to their bed-room.

► 「Read this, please」 --- Cherry said. Because she was a cyborg too, in a wink of an eye Bloodberry read through the letter that Cherry had written just some minutes ago:

『Dear Otaru-sama, Bloodberry, and Lime:

I am leaving you --- and I will not come back. Please, Otaru-sama, don't even try to look for me around Japoness, because I will be so far away... --- you will never find me anywhere. Gomen nasai, Otaru-sama; though I have been loving you so much since the day you brought me back to life, you do not seem to feel the same for me. I realize that you love Lime more than you love me and Bloodberry put together, and I do know how much you've been afraid of hurting both Bloodberry and me by admitting that Lime is your favorite... I understand you, and so I can forgive you, Otaru-sama... However I can't stand living here anymore, and thus I won't stay here anymore. I wish that you belonged to me only, but today I comprehend that this is just an impossible dream. I hope you will forgive me, Otaru-sama. Please make Lime be very happy. Bloodberry, I could never tell you how much I admire you, and how much I wish that I might be just like you are. Lime, take good-care of Otaru-sama.

Sayounara. My best wishes to you all.

signed: チェリー.』

Bloodberry fell onto her knees and began to cry. She felt just like Cherry did. She too had been hopelessly expecting that Otaru one day would overcome the fear of showing his love for them all... Unlike Cherry, she actually wouldn't mind being at the bottom of his list, as long as he did what she wanted him to do, however,... --- oh well, the truth is, she too had already understood that Lime was meant to be his only one... Therefore she shouldn't have needed to read that letter... she should have been able to figure out all by herself that the time for leaving Lime and Otaru had already come around --- long before that day. She was crying... because she might not keep fooling herself anymore.

► 「Bloo-d-ber-ry...」 --- Cherry murmured. For a moment she felt like touching the other saber marionette, but her own need for crying went stronger. She couldn't hold back her sadness anymore, and so she either couldn't help bursting into tears.

Some minutes later, Bloodberry stood up, and asked:

► 「Cherry... where are you leaving for?」

► 「Maybe for X'ian, or Romania, or even Petersburg, I don't know yet... I only know that I wouldn't stand to be to Gartland again!」 --- Cherry answered, sobbing.

► 「Well... and... when are you going to do it?」

► 「Right tomorrow. --- And before the sunrise.」

► 「Cherry... May I...」 --- Bloodberry walked to Cherry and embraced her tightly. --- 「Could you... please... **take me with you?**」

► 「Bloo-...d-... ber-...ry!」 --- Cherry was amazed. --- 「So... y-ou too...」

► 「You are not the only one who is tired of waiting for a decision from Otaru-chan...」 --- That was the first and only time Bloodberry spoke "Otaru-chan". --- 「And I also feel that... Damn it!, if I had to share his loving with Lime-chan only, I would rather die!」 --- she dared to confess.

► 「Blood-... berry!...」

► 「Yes, my friend. So, if you don't mind...」

► 「Of course I don't mind!... Then come with me, please!」 --- Cherry requested.

► 「Doumo arigatou, Cherry-chan!...」 --- Bloodberry had never before called her "Cherry-chan". The short and small-breasted saber marionette blushed... but she herself didn't know why --- yet.

► 

► 

► 「Otaru-sama and Lime will be back at the end of the day. Let's prepare to leave」 --- Cherry ordered, feeling a little bit less sad now. --- 「This afternoon, we pack our things, and tomorrow...」

► 「Hai」 --- Bloodberry agreed. She picked up the letter again, and added her signature to it.

Not exactly as she had planned, that is to say, together with Bloodberry, Cherry left Otaru's house around three hours before the next sunrise. When it was nearly midday, they stopped walking --- it was time for lunch.

► 「Cherry-chan... do you remember... the first time we... left him?」

► 「How could I ever forget? But... why such a stupid question?」 --- Cherry replied, starting to feel angry.

► 「Gomen! I was just... I mean... It's...」 --- Bloodberry was looking for the right words to say. --- 「as if... a part of me... as if a part of me didn't want to be convinced that we are doing the right thing...」

► 「I understand, I am feeling exactly the same as you...」

► 

► 「But there was no other way.」

► 「I know it.」

► 

► 「Cherry-chan... yesterday, you wrote... that you wish that you might be just like me...」

► 「It's true. You are so tall, so strong, so bold, and so beautiful, and, besides, your...」 --- she was going to say "breasts", but then she blushed, and could not complete the sentence, thinking about her own "shameful" tiny ones...

► 「Really???」 --- Bloodberry appeared to doubt, after having thought: "Shit! Otaru himself never told me that I'm beautiful...". Then she continued: --- 「Thank you, anyway, but the truth is,... I don't like very much to be, as you said, 『so tall, so strong, and』 so... big-breasted...」

► 「Really???」 --- it looked like Cherry didn't want to believe in what she had just heard.

► 「Yes. Huge breasts may seem beautiful to the others, but... well, looking at them is far better than having them, I must say...」

► 「Hmmm... Interesting!」 --- Cherry was beginning to dislike less her "excessively small" boobs.

► 

► 

► 「In fact, I wish that my body could be just like yours.」

► 「!」

► 「Why do you look so surprised? You are so graceful, so delicate,... your hair is so long and so beautiful, and, besides, your kimono is so cool...」

► 「That is very kind of you, Bloodberry」 --- Cherry thanked, while closing her eyes and blushing again. Then she thought: --- "Damn it! Otaru-sama never told me that I'm beautiful! Even the thieves of marionettes admitted that I was the most beautiful --- Damn it again! Otaru-sama, Otaru-sama, always Otaru-sama! Baka Cherry!, --- F-O-R-G-E-T Otaru-sama! Get him out of your heart --- once and for all!"

Fifteen kilometers from there, a lightning bolt struck the ground. About forty-four seconds later, Bloodberry and Cherry heard the thunder it had caused.

► 「Shit! Another plasma storm!」 --- Bloodberry complained. Cherry activated her Battle―FieldScanner --- with her self-lit eyes she was searching for a safe place to protect them both from the coming tempest.

► 「I found a cave! Eight hundred and forty-seven meters from here --- North-West. Fucking hell!, this storm won't be a brief one. Bloodberry, we'll need some wood for a bonfire...」

► 「Not a problem.」

It seemed the pouring rain would never end. Luckily, the entrance to the cave they were in was a three hundred and fifty-six meter long steep and winding tunnel that opened downwards, at seventy-nine meters above the base of the mountain, so that their shelter neither would be flooded by the rainfall nor would be reached by the particles of plasma. Thirteen hours after the beginning of the storm, Cherry fell asleep. Bloodberry was still just watching the flames of the bonfire, thinking, wondering,...

It was not going to be easy... to start a brand-new life... to "forget" Lime... to "forget" Otaru... they should never be back to Japoness... It did seem impossible to live a life in which there should be no room for all the things and people she was used to live with... But they had to try it. As Cherry had said, there was no other way...

And then she recalled their last afternoon at Otaru's house... She recalled what she had said to Cherry --- 『if I had to share his loving with Lime-chan only, I would rather die!』 --- . It had been a big surprise to herself as well. Bloodberry didn't know that she cared for Cherry that much. Doubtless she really liked Lime too, and very much, however,... Lime was --- still(?) --- like a kid, just a kid, whereas both Cherry and she herself were like fully grown-up women, so it was easier to understand and to appreciate Cherry than Lime... --- well, at least this was the explanation that the tall and red-haired saber marionette was trying to make her own heart accept.

And then, all of a sudden, an idea arose on her mind. A strange idea. To tell the truth,... a --- *weird* idea. IF it worked,... "everything would be beautiful", she hoped. Bloodberry was recollecting that the effects of the removal of the otome kairo were not immediate; it was only after fifteen seconds without the presence of the virgin circuit that the body movements of a saber marionette became temporarily impossible, and it took twenty-one seconds more for the senses to stop functioning properly, causing finally the loss of the state of self-consciousness. Fifteen seconds, only fifteen seconds,... and one of her dearest dreams would be made real --- for one day at least...

Even though the plasma storm itself had already ended some hours ago, it still was raining. Thanks to Cherry, their breakfast had been great --- as usual. Bloodberry took heart and suggested:

► 「Cherry-chan... did you know that **there is a way to** ... I mean: would you really like to know how it is to... live in a body like mine --- how it is to live in _my_ body, to be exact --- ?」

► 「Bloodberry... Are you serious? *Really* serious?」 --- Cherry doubted, starting to feel afraid of... well, she didn't know yet exactly what she was afraid of.

► 「But of course I am serious! And I do want to know how it is to live in *your* body as well. For one day at least! --- Take a look!...」

Bloodberry pressed the area between her breasts with the tips of the five fingers of her right hand. Along and around the pressure points she had touched appeared a swelling that looked like, let's say, a vertical abnormal scar --- which soon transformed into a wound-like slit. She inserted her fingers between the thick lips of that slit and then pulled out of her thorax a blinking disk-shaped bionic device that was connected to the rest of her body by five sets of cables; that fiery throbbing "thing" was the very seat of her "soul", and in Gartland it was named "Mädchen Stromkreis" --- "乙女回路", in Japoness.

► 「MEGAMI-SAMA!!!」

► 「THAT'S IT! --- Cherry-chan!, by means of our hearts, we... Cherry-chan, by means of our hearts, we can make it happen, and right now! --- We CAN make it happen, Cherry-chan!, we really CAN! --- don't you see?」

► 「Bloodberry... I see. I know what you mean: with my virgin circuit installed in your body, and your virgin circuit installed in my body, we... --- Bloodberry, I... I... --- well, as I meant before, I... I *really* would like to try it, but...」

► 「But _what_ ?」

► 「I... I'm afraid...」 【"Afraid? Matter of fact I'm scared!" --- Cherry thought, but didn't dare to speak.】

► 「Afraid? Afraid of *what*?」 --- Bloodberry asked again, seeming to be really unable to understand what her friend was already expressing just by the tone of her voice. --- 「You didn't seem afraid... NO, you **were not** afraid at all when you, Lime-chan and I gave our virgin circuits to Mesopotamia 5's supercomputer」 --- she reminded her friend. --- 「Tell me Cherry-chan, what are you affraid of, exactly?」 --- Bloodberry insisted.

► 「Well... I don't know... I really don't know...」

► 「NANI?」

► 「Or rather... I mean... I only know that I'm a little afraid of... afraid of what might possibly happen by... by exchanging our virgin circuits... maybe our operating systems will malfunction... maybe they will not function at all, perhaps our bodies were not designed to work with other virgin circuits than their original ones... I guess it would be too risky. --- Remember, Mesopotamia 5 was altered in order to accept the interaction with three additional virgin circuits, but what about Koyuki? And what about *ourselves*, Bloodberry? We really don't know whether Soemon-san would have ever managed to transform Koyuki into a saber marionette like you and me and the Saber Dolls by just giving her the virgin circuit of Lime-chan together with a new operating system」 --- Cherry explained; but she herself was not believing very much in her own words.

► 「Cherry-chan... I am a little afraid, too, I admit; nevertheless,... my curiosity is stronger than my fear. Besides,... possibly you won't like to hear what I'm going to say, but... →we've got nothing left to lose now...←」

► 「That's true. Quite true. I know it. But...」

► 「FUCK!」 --- Bloodberry's patience was over. --- 「Come on Cherry-chan!, there is only one way to be sure that it would NOT work out fine anyway!」 --- Bloodberry had to state, as she had just realized that even a whole lot of flawless argumentations would not be able to convince Cherry or herself that the experiment was going to be successful --- or not.

► 

► 

► 「You are right. Since we've got nothing left to lose indeed... let's do it!」

► 「Good! That's the stuff!」

Cherry now was staring at her own virgin circuit --- seeing it light on and off, feeling it throb,... in the palm of her right hand!... It had always been so... difficult... to believe --- or rather, to accept --- that her "true self" actually was just that... "thing"... --- a disk-shaped bunch of integrated circuits and altered neurons that somehow was able to give a "soul" to her beautiful cybernetic body; --- in fact it did feel so... strange!.... to be looking at her own "heart", to be seeing its huge central light-emitting diode blink, to be feeling its two motors pulsate outside her body... but now there was no time for digressing or anything. Bloodberry was right --- forever without the love of Otaru-sama, they had nothing left to lose indeed... 『Damn it baka Cherry! You would die for Otaru-sama, wouldn't you? You nearly died for the entire Terra Two, didn't you? So why the hell shouldn't you ever risk to die for *yourself*? Fuck your stupid fears! Fuck the old me!』 --- it was with this thought that Cherry's change of heart had definitely begun.

► 「Ready?」

► 「Ready!」 --- Bloodberry confirmed.

At the same time they disconnected their respective otome kairo from the cables that were hanging from the upper center of their bodies; then they exchanged the virgin circuits, and by last connected the plugs of the cables to the sockets of their "new" hearts. The whole procedure took less than seven seconds to be performed.

► 「Done!」

► 「Not yet, my friend...」 --- Cherry corrected. She put the otome kairo of Bloodberry into her thorax, closed her eyes, and waited...

The integration of a new virgin circuit to the controlling organs of the body of a saber marionette was not an instantaneous process either. Eighteen seconds later, the original operating systems of the bodies of Bloodberry and Cherry were shut down. Just five seconds more, and the new OS's finished loading...

► 「Megami-sama!, it worked! It IS working!」 --- Cherry exclaimed, feeling extremely glad to see herself in Bloodberry's body. It was just "incredible"... she looked at her new breasts, and did like what she saw; her hands cupped them, and she did love what she felt then...

► 「Excellent! Excellent! Excellent!」 --- it was the turn of Bloodberry to rejoice. She picked up her hand-mirror, stared at her new face, and

► 「Cherry-chan, now I am *sure* --- your body is damn great!」

► 「Arigatou! But THIS body is even greater!」 --- Cherry returned.

Then they finally had a look at each other in that new situation... It was, and it was not, like standing in front of a mirror... And their voices, their "new" voices,... were still exactly the same as before, however did seem to be sounding so different!... --- *very* different. Though they didn't feel uncomfortable at all in their just interchanged bodies, definitely it was a very "strange" sensation... But they surely would manage to get used to it.

► 「Bloodberry... would you... terribly mind if... if I stayed in this body... _forever_ ?」 --- Cherry begged, looking deep into Bloodberry's eyes.

► 

► 

► 「Well... --- As a matter of fact, I was about to ask you the same thing!...」

► 「Thank you so much, Bloodberry!」 --- Cherry said, tenderly embracing her friend.

► 「I thank you too, Cherry-chan!...」

Dictated by Destiny itself, the things they were afraid of began to happen. Right because their hearts had been exchanged, the two saber marionettes were now feeling a new need. Although it was clearly contrary to some of the things they had been programmed to feel, to believe and to do, it was also much too strong, and they truly could not let it simply go. Even though they both were hesitating and shivering, they could not avoid staring into each other's eyes for a very very long while. And then, Cherry broke their silence, stammering:

► 「P-pleas-se... p-plea-se f-for-g-give m-me... B-bloo-d-d-b-ber-ry, f-for... I... I... j-just... I... r-re-al-l-ly... c-can-n-not... h-hel-p... d-do-ing... th-this...」

Cherry gave Bloodberry the first of all the kisses she had been saving for Otaru-sama. It was so pleasing, so tender, so sweet, so electrifying, so delicious, so... GOOD... --- Bloodberry would never be able to resist it...

► 「Cher-ry... Bloo-d-ber-ry... we won't see them a-ny-more... we... ne-ver-more... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!」

Otaru held Lime in his arms, letting her drench his shirt with her tears.

► 「Baaaka Otaru, baaaaka, baaaaaka!」 --- he reprehended himself. --- 「How in the world could I have been so stupid? How? How?? HOW??? --- Fucking shit!, it all was *my* fault! This whole misfortune would never come to happen if I were not so... so fearful, so... shy, so... cowardly!, so stupid! --- Shit!, SHIT! --- I have been nothing but an idiot! They were in the palm of my hand all the time, but I just did let them slip through, like grains of sand,... because I was an idiot! --- Fear... shyness... it's just another word for liking to be a fool! They always gave me so much of themselves, and only because of my useless shyness I gave them nothing of myself in return... They had left me twice already, but they came back twice, only because they did believe that I did deserve to be forgiven... and today I came to learn that even forgiveness can get tired of forgiving idiots like me. --- Baka Otaru! BAKA OTARU! --- Baka!, baaka!!, BAAAKA!!!」

► 「Hey Otaru, what the hell is all that noise? Why Lime-chan is crying out so loud?」 --- asked Hanagata, invading Otaru's house.

► 「Cher-ry... Bloo-d-ber-ry... gone a-way!...」 --- Lime sobbed.

► 「BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! --- Ha! --- I told you, Otaru, you would go only nowhere with those marionettes! --- I told you, they were not for you, and you were not for them! Fortunately they woke up to reality sooner than you --- though later than I was expecting, I must say,... Now, Lime-chan, how about following their example and」

► 「GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!」

The sadness of the skinny saber marionette had just turned into rage.

► 「Hanagata!, you jerk!, **shut the fuck up!** --- SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! --- NOW!!!」 --- Otaru shouted. And Lime screamed:

► 「I WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE *MY* OTARU! --- _I SWEAR_ !」

before striking Hanagata with an extra-powerful uppercut. Once again, there was a big hole in the roof of Otaru's house, and one more time, Hanagata was "flying"... --- high... very high... too high... even higher... higher and higher...

► 「L-li-m-me--ch-chan... d-do y-you... r-re-al-l-ly... s-swear... th-that...」

Otaru was stuttering... because Lime was looking... angry. Very very angry, to be exact. He didn't think that the face of his Lime-chan could actually get so --- frightening. Terrifying. Scaring. Well, he *was* scared indeed...

► 「BAKA OTARU!, IF YOU DON'T KISS ME IN THE MOUTH RIGHT NOW ... --- I'M GONNA KILL YOU!」

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『終わり?いいえ!』






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